My ex-boyfriend is a lying, cheating, porn-addicted dirtbag and I HATE him!!!

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

I just needed to get that off my chest.

[miss-gonewest]

Jen Jen, you've had a tough time lately.... feel free to offload!

 

Especially when its a juicy as that- I find it highly entertaining and I'm glad I am not the only one with those thoughts!!!

 

You go girl

[Devildog]

Stop holding back, tell us how you really feel!

[Rosalind]

Let it all out, girlfriend

 

Got more?....I'm listening.

[JustDumpedHim]

You weren't in a relationship with my worthless ex were you???? Sounds alot like him!

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Originally posted by JustDumpedHim

You weren't in a relationship with my worthless ex were you???? Sounds alot like him!

 

I dunno? Was he a commitment-phobic shrink who needed a shrink more than his own patients? Did he joke around about his clients who had sexual disfunctions and name them by their full name, therby violating patient confidentiality? Did he lie and say he didn't look at porn, and then when you found out said he would quit, but only turned around and signed up for more paid porn sites? Did he dump you on the phone four days after celebrating your anniversary and giving you a card with promises of love and devotion? Did you find out afterwards that he also cheated on you with a homely fat chick from North Dakota so that he could get her money? After you broke up with him did he treat you like dirt when he found out you were pregnant with his baby and that you were sick because it was an ectopic pregnancy, and give you a hard time about paying for the medical bills? If so, then yes...we do have the same ex.

[shygurl]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

I dunno? Was he a commitment-phobic shrink who needed a shrink more than his own patients? Did he joke around about his clients who had sexual disfunctions and name them by their full name, therby violating patient confidentiality? Did he lie and say he didn't look at porn, and then when you found out said he would quit, but only turned around and signed up for more paid porn sites? Did he dump you on the phone four days after celebrating your anniversary and giving you a card with promises of love and devotion? Did you find out afterwards that he also cheated on you with a homely fat chick from North Dakota so that he could get her money? After you broke up with him did he treat you like dirt when he found out you were pregnant with his baby and that you were sick because it was an ectopic pregnancy, and give you a hard time about paying for the medical bills? If so, then yes...we do have the same ex.

 

Homely fat chick from North Dakota? Why call her names? - she's not the one that cheated, if anything you should feel sorry because he clearly used her.

 

What I don't get is..why do women remain in relationships with such loser men - only to later post vitriolic posts about what a loser he was? I'm sure he didn't just wake up one morning and be a loser - he obviously did all of these things over a period of time and you obviously remained with him during a lot of it so what responsibility do you take in remaining with someone such as this, for as long as you did?

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

What responsibility do I have? None. This man was literally Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. All the lies and deception came out after we broke up. I was devastated, because from my perspective things were working, and he was a loving, caring partner. I had no reason to believe that he was doing anything that would hurt me if I knew.

 

I didn't find out that he was back on the porn until AFTER we broke up. I believed that he was sincere in stopping, because he said he wanted to stop living in that fantasy world, and he told me that he was talking to his own shrink about it. He appeared to be repentant.

 

I didn't find out about the other woman until AFTER we broke up. And I call her names, because she is a man-stealing b!tch. I have waaaaayyyyy to much self-respect and dignity to ever pursue a man who is already in an exclusive relationship. So I believe that she is the moral equivilant of pond scum. I confirmed that she KNEW that he was seeing someone else for more than a year, and still decided to pursue him. I might also add that before I knew that my pregnancy wasn't viable, she and my ex threatened to use their combined financial prowess to take me to court and sue for full custody of my unborn baby. This was an attempt at bullying me so that I wouldn't try to establish paternity from my ex. I mean, really, how f'ing low is that?

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

What responsibility do I have? None. This man was literally Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

 

Oh geez, jen_jen_heartbroken,

I have only ever read one of your previous posts, so I wasn't aware that this man TRULY is a dirt-bag.

 

I believe it's IMPORTANT to go through this anger stage...it's all part of being on the road to healing.

 

My best to you

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Thanks Rosalind. You're right. The anger stage has been the most healing. At least I don't spend each night crying the way I used to. Right now my fear is that I will be stuck in the anger for a long time, which will keep me in constant distrust of men and unable to move forward in a new relationship.

[Rosalind]

Don't worry about that....the 'filled with rage' stage is not permanent, it's just a phase necessary if you wish to recover fully.

 

Still thinking about what you said......f*ck what a pr*ck he is

[miss-gonewest]

Jen Jen you don't have to justify yourself here....

You were treated so very badly and you have every right to be angry and resentful. This is an open forum where you can vent.

 

I have seen people using far worse names than you have used.

 

What really frightens me is the fact that your ex is a shrink - he sounds like the least qualified person on the earth to offer advice and counselling to others.

 

I know you angry now - but you can also rejoice in the fact that you are no longer with him. He sounds like a right spanker!

[miss-gonewest]

Jen Jen, we've got some jokes going on over on another thread, feel free to join in if it makes you feel better....

 

Here's one for now though:

 

While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems."

 

"Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea.

 

The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can."

 

The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

 

The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."

 

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Oh no kidding...this guy is not fit to be treating others. And he was acting like such a p*ssy about meeting his responsibilities for the medical bills that I had to threaten to turn him in to the state regulatory agency just to get him to respond to my phone call. He finally did, but then made me go meet him at his own shrink's office so his psychologist could "mediate". The funny part was that after talking to him and this guy, the shrink finally took my side...said "I trust Jen".... and told him to pay up.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

I guess my main question is... After all this a**h*** put me through, and the fact that my ex-husband also cheated on me with some really obese woman, how do I ever begin to trust men again? I mean, I really thought this last guy had his act together....and look how wrong I was.

 

I've gone on a few dates with a couple of guys who are both acting ambivilent (still calling and emailing, but not offering to set up a future date), and I am constantly trying to figure out their motives. I don't know if I'm "back up girl" or not. One of them didn't even attempt to kiss me at the end of our second date. I'm not vain by any means, but I'm an attractive woman, so WTF??!!!

[Rosalind]

Hmmm...well...you're still angry, right?...maybe guys can sense you've got your guard up.

 

I dunno....are you even ready to start dating again?

 

I say : adopt a kitten instead

 

People are highly over-rated.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

I'm pretty good about hiding my negative feelings about men when I'm with a guy....I don't engage in male-bashing, talk about my ex or anything like that. I'm really a very upbeat, positive person to be around. I know I'm not ready for a heavy relationship yet, but I'm okay to date....it's been a little over two months now since the break-up.

 

I guess I am guarded to some extent. In some ways, I feel that I'd be dumb not to have up a little protective fence. I just wish that in dating people were honest about their feelings instead of playing so many f-ing games!

[chaos70]

The movie "Hitch" helps.

I've wondered myself how to take down that wall of protection +5 that I have up. I guess when I see someone that makes me feel differently about women (jaded as well), then I'll take things down a notch.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Chaos, it's the game-playing that p!sses me off! I hate feeling like I'm "back up girl", or that a guy I'm seeing is constantly looking for something "better". Because I don't do things like that. I don't play hot and cold, or elusive games -- why is it so hard to find a normal guy who is like-minded that way?

[chaos70]

I agree, the "vulture" type game is bad.

Maybe you need to find another place to find guys?

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Originally posted by chaos70

Maybe you need to find another place to find guys?

 

Places tried:

• bars
  
• ballparks
  
• bookstores
  
• grocery stores
  
• volunteer groups
  
• coffee shops
  
• libraries
  
• church
  
• fundraisers
  
• online dating
  
• professional/industry events
  
• museum events
  
• beach
  
• gym
  
• circle of friends
  

Is there any place else?

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Good lord, people....I am so pathetic. This ex of mine ended things with me so terribly, and I do hate the person he turned out to be....but yet, as I sit here I can't help but miss him so much (the guy who loved me and didn't hurt me). The longing is still there, and no matter how much I try I can't rid myself of it. I just want to pull my hair out at the thought of him f'ing that other woman. And it's the weekend, so I know they must be together. Man, this really s*cks.

[chaos70]

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

 

 

Places tried:

• bars
  
• ballparks
  
• bookstores
  
• grocery stores
  
• volunteer groups
  
• coffee shops
  
• libraries
  
• church
  
• fundraisers
  
• online dating
  
• professional/industry events
  
• museum events
  
• beach
  
• gym
  
• circle of friends
  

Is there any place else?

 

Maybe you are looking for the wrong type of guy initially? Granted I know nothing myself, but just from a sheer probility standpoint...I'd say it would be easy for me to atleast find someone interesting at those places. OR maybe you attract the wrong type of guy?

 

Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

Good lord, people....I am so pathetic. This ex of mine ended things with me so terribly, and I do hate the person he turned out to be....but yet, as I sit here I can't help but miss him so much (the guy who loved me and didn't hurt me). The longing is still there, and no matter how much I try I can't rid myself of it. I just want to pull my hair out at the thought of him f'ing that other woman. And it's the weekend, so I know they must be together. Man, this really s*cks.

 

I know it sucks. Makes you want to headbutt the wall. And like me, you probably don't have much going on the social calendar this weekend either? I think there needs to be some sort of website that has to listed things to do for those with a "brokenheart". Personally, I've been looking for those "human sized" mazes. Holy cow that would be so much fun. Then I realize, man, it would be better if I had someone to go with. And that's why they call it the blues....*harmonica playing*

If I find a cure, I'll let you know.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

And like me, you probably don't have much going on the social calendar this weekend either? I think there needs to be some sort of website that has to listed things to do for those with a "brokenheart".

 

Yeah sort of. My best friend and I had a fight because she insensitively said, "Jen, shut up! Get over it already!", when I was getting sniffly about my ex. I spend hours listening her gab about her frustrations over shopping exploits or her stupid cat, but she can't listen to me for five minutes without selfishly telling me to quit complaining. So my plans with her got canceled until she apologizes for her insensitivity.

 

My other good single girlfriend is too busy fawning over her new boyfriend, and can't take five minutes to pry herself away from him (even though they now live together).

 

I did some volunteer stuff this afternoon, which was okay. And I've toured all the bookstores and coffee shops. But I'm bored out of my skull, and I feel lonely seeing all the couples walking around doing "coupley stuff".

 

ARGH!

[chaos70]

Boredom is a wicked thing. I've watched 4 movies already today.