summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 hey, Sorry if its long I'm sure you have heard this story many times.!! My mam and dad have both passed away within a yr from each other, mam most recently of 5 weeks. two weeks after I ended my relationship. I didn't know if it was grief from parents. but I felt i had enough BS, after mams service I took a couple of days quiet time! on the Thurs i called the then gf and asked if she wanted to hang out the weekend. she said yes. on the friday at lunchtime she rang said her brother was going to be in her mams so would i mind if she went too and she would see me on the sat ( in the last year her and the same brother have gone away a lot, hung out a lot, I started thinking she was seeing someone and using the brother as an excuse) so sat came and i got up went on a walk with the dog. bout 4pm i messaged her, and she rang me and said she was still in her mams. her sister had surprised visited and in a way said she was going to stay! and she said if I wanted to go for a walk tomorrow to let her know. so i text the next day 10.30, asking if she fancied the walk it would be nice to hang. hour passes i ring, no answer!! 1.50pm she texts back saying shes in her brothers still, and said she didn't see the missed call and text.. i said to her she never mentioned going to her brothers and if she had i would have just left early myself and gone for a walk like i did the day before!! I think shes cheating but have no proof. were together 4 and a half yrs. she has never shaved her down stairs, and 2 days before her work business trip she joke on the phone about how she was itchy from cutting, I was shocked I said you have never done like that for me and i asked her a few times. cant make someone do anything, I was genuinely coming from a good place with asking, month after that she went to amsterdam. flight was cancelled on the first day so her and her brother were going back from the airport to their own house they seperatley live (her parents live 20 mins from airport, I live about 5, my gf and her bro live about an hour away), I asked why she was going all the way home and not her parents or my place? and she replied , ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh because I didnt! .her sister was supposed to go but I found out she didnt until the day before they went!! so just her and the brother went. I asked if she wanted to meet in the airport the next day for a cuppa before she went, and she flat out said no!! (my alarm bells were ringing) couple of months after that trip she was suppose to be going for a wkd with her sis(who was pregnant) so the bro invited himself.. this is the same brother bare in mind. week before the trip she said her sister didnt know if she would be able to make it!! alarms bell agian!! this trip was from the thurs to sun.. wed night she calls and i ask her were shes staying and she says her brother was booking an apartment. ok, so the day after she is there she calls and says that she is going to be coming home a day early that her and her brother changed the flights and it only cost 30 pounds!!(suddenly they changed flights to come home early! this is a girl who loves travel more than life, travel is her life and i always accepted that) I asked why so and she just replied because we wanted too????? I asked her if she was seeing someone and she assured me she isn't! but I dont know. iv caught her lying recently about a few things/ I ended the rel 2 weeks ago went know contact and she text yest asking to meet for coffee, am I crazy or is she cheating. any help to ease my mind would be beautful thanks. Matt Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 If you have ended the relationship, there is no need to 'meet for coffee'. You broke No Contact (yes, you did. She made an attempt to contact you, and you responded. Responding is breaking NC. Had you NOT responded, you would still be in NC, and she would be piddling in the wind. As it is, she knocked, you opened the door.) But if you ended the relationship, let it stay ended. Do not respond, reply or react to any attempts on her part to engage with you. Stay silent, and block her completely. She's your ex. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 If you have ended the relationship, there is no need to 'meet for coffee'. You broke No Contact (yes, you did. She made an attempt to contact you, and you responded. Responding is breaking NC. Had you NOT responded, you would still be in NC, and she would be piddling in the wind. As it is, she knocked, you opened the door.) But if you ended the relationship, let it stay ended. Do not respond, reply or react to any attempts on her part to engage with you. Stay silent, and block her completely. She's your ex. Move on. Yes, did, a few hours later!! said I was pretty busy over the next week and would try get in touch another time!! I am moving on, I basically want to know, am I paranoid or did she cheat!! and if you think she did, why do you think she didnt come clean after my asking??? Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) I basically want to know, am I paranoid or did she cheat!! and if you think she did, why do you think she didnt come clean after my asking??? I can see why you were suspicious. Don't feel paranoid, trust your instincts. Cheaters seldom confess unless caught red handed. It sounds like you have been through enough pain, you don't need anymore. Time to start dating more supportive and trustworthy women. I'm sorry for your loss. Edited May 16, 2016 by Scarlett.O'hara Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Yes, did, a few hours later!! said I was pretty busy over the next week and would try get in touch another time!! Only - don't. Just delete every means of contacting her, and block her on your phone, email and everywhere else. Do not check her facebook page, and block her on yours. I am moving on, I basically want to know, am I paranoid or did she cheat!! and if you think she did, why do you think she didnt come clean after my asking???It doesn't matter what I think. Actually, it really doesn't matter what you think either. It's in the past. Over. Done and dusted. Finished. leave it. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 She is seeing someone else. Confirmed. Is that cheating? F if I know. Your relationship status seems stupidly over complicated. Simplify it. Either you're together or not. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Everything that had happened, belong to the past. If it's important for you to know you can tell her that you know she was cheating, and the only way you can meet her is if she admits it so you can have an honest talk, to clear the vibes. That way you have a 50\50 chance to know the truth. If I were you, I wouldn't do nothing. It doesn't matter if she was cheating or not. Her behavior (Doing what ever she wants without considering you in her plans) in enough to call it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 I can see why you were suspicious. Don't feel paranoid, trust your instincts. Cheaters seldom confess unless caught red handed. It sounds like you have been through enough pain, you don't need anymore. Time to start dating more supportive and trustworthy women. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for you input! I guess you are right! Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 Only - don't. Just delete every means of contacting her, and block her on your phone, email and everywhere else. Do not check her facebook page, and block her on yours. It doesn't matter what I think. Actually, it really doesn't matter what you think either. It's in the past. Over. Done and dusted. Finished. leave it. Move on. I have blocked! I guess I know deep inside! I think I just wanted something to distract me for 5 minutes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 She is seeing someone else. Confirmed. Is that cheating? F if I know. Your relationship status seems stupidly over complicated. Simplify it. Either you're together or not. yepp!! it is over! thanks dude Link to post Share on other sites
Author summersun36 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 Everything that had happened, belong to the past. If it's important for you to know you can tell her that you know she was cheating, and the only way you can meet her is if she admits it so you can have an honest talk, to clear the vibes. That way you have a 50\50 chance to know the truth. If I were you, I wouldn't do nothing. It doesn't matter if she was cheating or not. Her behavior (Doing what ever she wants without considering you in her plans) in enough to call it off. yeah I guess if she was going to tell me she would have!! sham because im not an angry guy, i understand mistakes happen, but I just lost out big time! Link to post Share on other sites
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