memomma Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 I don't get it. I've filed for divorce. My husband knows.....because I've told him.......that the marriage is over.....the love is gone......I don't want to reconcile. Yet he continues to tell me "I love you". I get so frustrated because I feel like I spend the day rejecting him as he is begging me to love him. It's not that I don't care about him.......I do.........I just don't love him any longer. He knows this was a long time coming. I repeatedly asked him to go to counseling with me, told him I was unhappy and unfulfilled living the life we had together, I told him I could not and would not continue in the same pattern we had developed. I told him if you don't go to a counselor with me.......I'll go to an attorney. He said go ahead. So now........what the crap is all this "I love you nonsense?" He refuses to move out of the house. I cannot leave. We've been officially separated since March 1 and yet the drama continues. He won't sign the papers the attorney mailed to him acknowledging the divorce and so we are at risk for having the sheriff hand deliver him the papers. It just really makes me mad. I've got two kids here at home.......I don't want the sheriff coming to my house.......just sign the freakin papers and let's move on. Link to post Share on other sites
TheSouthernChick Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 You gave him plenty of notice; he's just now facing the reality that you really meant it. And somehow he's convinced that his empty words are a substitute for having worked on improving his relationship with you. Unfortunately, they definitely are not. He sounds somewhat selfish, immature, or clueless. Or perhaps just too lazy to invest in the most important relationship of his adult life. But just because he refuses to move on does NOT mean you have to just sit back and let him further obstruct your life. If you are convinced that divorce is your best choice at this point, I would proceed if I were you. I know it's hard for you with the kids being there; is there a grandparent, sibling, or other relative they could go spend some "quality time" with this summer so the divorce notice can be delivered when they're not there? If not, then proceed. Having a cop come to the house with disturbing papers for their daddy isn't likely to traumatize them any more than the divorce itself will. This is not a real obstacle, however. You may be letting this hang you up as your excuse to let things slide a little while longer -- either to let him suffer or to convince him of your intentions before relenting and going to counseling with him as a condition of staying put. Have you thought about that as a possibility? I would suggest examining your own motivations. If you have mixed feelings, it would help you to sort them out before you proceed. I'm sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. Best wishes -- TheSouthernChick Link to post Share on other sites
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