Anxiety, exhaustion, loss of focus

[Raina314]

Hey guys. As I've mentioned before, my ex broke up with me back in October because he wasn't ready to be serious and I was devastated. Was deeply depressed for months. Now I feel better overall and don't pine for him anymore, but the whole thing really left a mark.

 

Even though I no longer think of him constantly and I've had some lovely people come into my life who have helped me big time, I find myself a lot more anxious and on edge than before and I'm not sleeping well a lot of the time. I'm always exhausted. I don't know where I'm going and some days it's hard for me to remember who I am. I find myself forgetting things I never would've before and I've noticed that I make a lot more mistakes while driving. The other day I went straight through a red light and didn't even notice. I never would've done that before this. I'm more irritable overall, I feel panicked for no reason sometimes.

 

I've always had mild anxiety, but I've always just waited for it to pass and it always does. But will it this time? I've never felt this way before and idk if I'm anxious because I can't sleep or vice versa or what I can do to fix it that doesn't involve meds. After seeing what those meds have done to my friends and family who have been on them, I decided I'm never taking that chance.

[SethDamien]

I've been there. Whats worse is my ex, and the new guy she's dating works with me at the same office. I have to talk to them and i have to see them everyday. you can just imagine how much my heart pounds daily. at the worst of times, my body wouldn't stop shaking at work. I was always tired, and i was always anxious.

 

I know it sounds totally cliche, But you really have to focus your energy elsewhere, be it a hobby, your career, or just anything you're passionate about. I wouldn't have considered this as meaningful advice until i got to do it myself. You might be doing something new today, but it might not be enough to release all that anger or stress.

 

Like they say, the best revenge is success. I climbed the corporate ladder and now, im their superior (even though the guy she left me for, worked there longer than me ). I also put my energy into starting a business. Just some of the good things i came up with out of my deep depression.

 

best of luck to you!

[acrosstheuniverse]

Anxiety is very normal after a stressful experience, it may pass or it may not. There's a lot you can do to treat anxiety other than medications. Look into CBT therapy. MoodGym and MoodJuice are great resources, as is the CCI self help modules on anxiety management if you can't access therapy.

 

Even simple techniques such as learning about anxiety and the fight or flight response, breathing and muscle relaxation techniques and thought challenging can work really well.

[Orion39]

I understand not wanting to take medication, that can be overwhelming solution with unwanted side effects. Have you considered professional help through counseling? Not all counselors will suggest medication and I've been through counseling myself for a variety of issues in life. Hope that you are able to find some solace through counseling or other healthy outlet.

[Raina314]

I've been there. Whats worse is my ex, and the new guy she's dating works with me at the same office. I have to talk to them and i have to see them everyday. you can just imagine how much my heart pounds daily. at the worst of times, my body wouldn't stop shaking at work. I was always tired, and i was always anxious.

 

I know it sounds totally cliche, But you really have to focus your energy elsewhere, be it a hobby, your career, or just anything you're passionate about. I wouldn't have considered this as meaningful advice until i got to do it myself. You might be doing something new today, but it might not be enough to release all that anger or stress.

 

Like they say, the best revenge is success. I climbed the corporate ladder and now, im their superior (even though the guy she left me for, worked there longer than me ). I also put my energy into starting a business. Just some of the good things i came up with out of my deep depression.

 

best of luck to you!

 

I agree that success is the best revenge, yeah. What gets me is that I have that: I'm the first of my friends to buy my own place and I have a good job. He's unemployed and living with his parents. But that's not the point. I probably should put more of myself into a hobby or non-romantic passion. It's just hard to focus a lot of the time.

 

Anxiety is very normal after a stressful experience, it may pass or it may not. There's a lot you can do to treat anxiety other than medications. Look into CBT therapy. MoodGym and MoodJuice are great resources, as is the CCI self help modules on anxiety management if you can't access therapy.

 

Even simple techniques such as learning about anxiety and the fight or flight response, breathing and muscle relaxation techniques and thought challenging can work really well.

 

Thanks for those. Real life therapy, as I'm sure everyone knows, is expensive and I'm insured through my parents, and I'd rather not go through them for this. I'll definitely check out those resources you mentioned.

 

I understand not wanting to take medication, that can be overwhelming solution with unwanted side effects. Have you considered professional help through counseling? Not all counselors will suggest medication and I've been through counseling myself for a variety of issues in life. Hope that you are able to find some solace through counseling or other healthy outlet.

 

I've thought about it. It's mainly a money thing, combined with the fact that it's not bad all the time so it's easy to convince myself it's unnecessary. I don't think it is "necessary" but you're right, it probably would help.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Raina314

[sorano]

This has happened to me and lots of people I know. My theory is, when a person is under a lot of stress, pain, etc, the body releases a ton of cortisol. when the body see's an increase in cortisol, it effects the memory, heart, immune system, causes fatigue, makes you feel cloudy. I think a lot of these feelings we have after something traumatizing like a break up, its caused by cortisol.

 

LIke I mentioned in my previous posts, Aerobics, weight training, all that stuff, will not only improve the signals in your brain going from cell to another, ( seratonin, dopamine, and I forgot the other one, similar to what an antidepressant medication does) but it will lower cortisol, which in turn will make you feel happy and energetic. Once you feel happy and energetic your levels will remain low. Thats what I think.

 

There are supplements that can reduce cortisol. There are vitamins, diets, that can increase energy and sense of well being.

[DanlT]

I found these on You Tube when I was going thru hard times and severe anxiety.

 

They may help.

Look up Vortex Success on You tube. At first I thought it was a gimmick, but I am a faithful listener to them. They have helped me, and apparently many others.

 

They have sound tracks for just about any ailment you may be suffering

 

Hope that can help

[Jersey born raised]

Sorna is right. Stress in someways is like diabeties. In both cases the body as an huge excess of an item in the body. If left uncheck they will begin to destroy organs in the body which sets up a chain reaction leading to a downward spiral in all aspects of a person's life.

 

A common response to men with a WS is go to the gym, get buff, find someone younger and hotter. Forget youger and hotter, go to the gym avd burn off the imbalance in your body. If it you do not it will burn you down.

Until you get the imbalance in the body under controll you cannot address the emotional and mental issues you face.

 

Do both focus more on the physical to begin with.

[dichotomy]

if I'm anxious because I can't sleep or vice versa or what I can do to fix it that doesn't involve meds. After seeing what those meds have done to my friends and family who have been on them, I decided I'm never taking that chance.

 

 

What meds are those and what did they do?

 

The two drugs I took for anxiety worked pretty well - especially the last one. I can't say the same praise for antidepressant meds which never worked for me. Anxiety is easier to control I think.

 

Yoga and meditation can help with anxiety and stress as well

Edited May 30, 2016 by dichotomy

[acrosstheuniverse]

This has happened to me and lots of people I know. My theory is, when a person is under a lot of stress, pain, etc, the body releases a ton of cortisol. when the body see's an increase in cortisol, it effects the memory, heart, immune system, causes fatigue, makes you feel cloudy. I think a lot of these feelings we have after something traumatizing like a break up, its caused by cortisol.

 

LIke I mentioned in my previous posts, Aerobics, weight training, all that stuff, will not only improve the signals in your brain going from cell to another, ( seratonin, dopamine, and I forgot the other one, similar to what an antidepressant medication does) but it will lower cortisol, which in turn will make you feel happy and energetic. Once you feel happy and energetic your levels will remain low. Thats what I think.

 

There are supplements that can reduce cortisol. There are vitamins, diets, that can increase energy and sense of well being.

 

It's also to do with survival instincts, if you go through a stressful situation and survive it, it makes sense to stay on high alert (vigilance, aka anxiety) in case it happens again. Imagine being a caveman and being attacked by a wild animal and surviving it: you have a better chance of staying alive if you remain alert to it happening again and keep an eye out for warning signs, stay vigilant, which keeps your body in fight or flight mode.

 

Going through a break up is an incredibly traumatic event and it can be quite difficult to settle down afterwards and turn your fight or flight response off, hence where therapy (especially CBT) can be useful. Even really simple sounding things such as relaxation techniques around breathing and progressive muscle relaxation can counteract a lot of the symptoms of anxiety by regulating your oxygen intake again, as when we're anxious we tend to hyperventilate (cue heart racing, shaking, sweating, trembling, jelly legs, stomach problems and so forth).

 

I hope the OP gets some support.