Starting to Doubt This, But I Care About Him

[LoveAiko]

*TLDR VERSION AT BOTTOM*

 

So, I met this guy on an anonymous app. I had no intention of liking him or even falling for him. Hes 19 and I'm 24.

We texted for a few days just talking about random things and it turns out we had a lot in common as far as games, shows we watch, the way we think, etc.

 

I suggested we meet up and see a movie and he agreed. He was so nervous, but being shy myself, I was nervous as well. The movie went great and we went back to my apartment to just watch TV. Still, no intention of doing anything. But he wouldn't sit on my bed or on the hair I offered him. He just wanted to sit on the floor, so finally I joined him down there and we talked until about 2am and then I took him back to campus.

 

After that we talked more and more and things turned sexual. I asked him if he was a virgin because something he said struck me as odd. Turns out he was a virgin! Just my luck.

 

To cut to the chase, we hung out again and ended up hooking up. I felt terrible because 1) he's so young and 2) I took his virginity and I know I shouldn't have.

 

After that, he seemed smitten. Always texting me good morning. Telling me about some of his kinkier interests. And I told him we should hang out again. He agreed. But about an hour before, he cancelled because he said he was tired.

This happened again and after that I told him if he wanted to hang out, he could make the plans. He apologized and agreed and said I was right to be a little upset but still nothing changed.

 

Finally after three weeks of just texting him, I told him that he needed to either make plans or I would lose interest. That wasn't entirely true, but just texting someone that's literally 5 minutes away is annoying.

 

I figured at this point, age difference was showing. He just wasn't mature enough and I told him that I think we're looking for different things. He told me he was sorry and that he agrees and that he wasn't what I needed.

 

So we stopped talking all of three days. I started talking (just as friends) to another guy, but I was still pretty invested in the other guy so I messaged him asking how he was because I knew he was dealing with some stress from finals.

 

We started talking like old friends immediately and he asked me what I was up to. At the time I was playing a game and talking to the other guy. So I told him that amd he seemed fine. A few hours later out of the blue, he asked me if me and the other guy were just talking or "talking" and I told him I didn't know for sure but he was planning to hang out with me the next day. Then he dropped it.

 

Later that night he mentioned how he was so glad I messaged him because he missed talking to me but he wasn't sure I wanted to talk to him.

 

The next day, the other guy cancelled. I told the 19 year old and that's when he went on this thing about how he screwed things up with me and he felt so bad about it.

 

I'm trying not to carry on too long. But the night before he left to go home.for the summer, he agreed to hang out. It went really well and my like for him went up about 5 notches from where it was.

 

Now he's home and he's almost like hot and cold. He messages me everyday, but he said he feels like he should message me amd I told him that's not how it works. I message him because I want to. Not because I feel like I should. He spent the whole next day trying to be happy and light but I wasn't having it.

 

Now he's back to being kind of vacant. I know he's having problems at home. His mother is terminally ill and his father cheated on her. And that's one of the only things I've ever gotten out of him when he was being open with me.

 

He said he's just enjoying being home and that's why he's not as talkative. That's fine, of course. But he spends most of his time outside by himself. Every time I talk to him he's either going outside or just got back in from outside.

 

Basically, I don't know if it's worth it. I like him a lot. And I know age shouldn't matter if he's over 18, but I just feel like he's still too immature.

 

He doesn't realize that I'm not going to hang around until he's comfortable. I've expressed that to him and all he does is apologize and say I'm right.

 

At this point I don't even want to bring up anything invol how I feel or how he feels because he just dodges around it.

 

I don't know what to do. Because it's been almost two months of this hot and cold. Him calling me pet names and saying how much he likes me and can't wait to hang out with me again. But I'm worried in the fall hes just going to do the same stuff.

 

TLDR: I'm 24. Met a 19 year old. We hit it off. I took his virginity because he wanted me to. We're really close. But he's been hot and cold lately. He claims it's nerves but I don't know if I'm wasting my time trying to change him because at the end of the day, he's still young. We're at different parts in our lives and I don't know if it will work but I care about him now and I don't want to lose him entirely.

Edited May 18, 2016 by LoveAiko

[bummer]

Pretty straight forward youthful relationship. It might work out when you're closer again after the summer but you may consider that you opened Pandoras box with this kid and now he will want to see the world so to speak

[Gaeta]

Of course you care about him but this is not meant to be a relationship.

 

Let him go. Let him be a 19 year old with everything 19 yo boys are suppose to live and he needs to concentrate on family as well.

 

When you say good bye you'll be sad for a minute and in a couple of weeks you'll be glad you did this.

[smackie9]

Once they get their first taste, they get their confidence to try everything else. Date someone with experience and you won't have any issues.