Does she like me or just been friendly? [updated 2016-06-24]

[truth_seeker]

My take is when a girl is all touchy-feely with you, she's letting you know she likes you more than just a friend.

 

I would go in for a kiss the next time she's all over you.

[coolheadal]

So basically, I've know this girl for around 5 years, never really fancied her, until she started to give me hugs every single time we met. I'm not too sure if it was her game plan to give me loads of hugs so I would like/fancy her. My question is do girls give hugs to get someone to fancy/like them? Or just being friendly.... I mean a few days back I decided to " test the waters", so as she came to hug him, we hugged as usual but then I nuzzled her neck/ shoulder. After which we chatted for a bit & I left. So the following two day, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. But on the third day nothing. Why?, she was very quite on the following two days. So really confused now.... Why would she act like this? So please help all advice is welcome.... Does she like me, ? Or just bit of friendly flirting ?

 

Just being friendly can't read too much into this. Everyone hugs and kisses. Just greeting or saying goodbye. You sound like you want more from her. Then your just going to have to ask her do you have a boyfriend, are you seeing anyone right now, are you engaged or married! Might has well find out the truth about it. See if you have any chemistry together if you can get a date with her?

 

I with you the best on your new quest for the truth!

[smackie9]

She probably pulled back because she was hoping you would do more. Some women expect a man to make his intentions clear first before they are willing to reciprocate interest.

[Simon84]

Sorry I didn't really explain about the kiss, well I was sitting down working on my desk, when she came, kissed me on the cheek, while standing behind me, - that was the first time, second time was same as first, but I asked " what are you doing? " so she responded by blowing me a kiss? & walking away...then came that quite period where she acted differently. So it wasn't a face to face, cheek to cheek kiss...---- like someone would greet you or say bye....

[bu2002]

Ask her out already and see what she says.

 

You are clearly interested in her, otherwise you wouldn't be posting about this on a message board.

[preraph]

She gave you some encouragement but now you're still waiting for her to make the next move. If you don't man up and ask her out and start making the moves, kissing, etc. she WILL lose interest.

[truth_seeker]

She gave you some encouragement but now you're still waiting for her to make the next move. If you don't man up and ask her out and start making the moves, kissing, etc. she WILL lose interest.

 

OR... she will get angry, start banging the guy in the next cubicle to make OP jealous...

[Simon84]

:(So advice taken was gonna ask her 2day about going out for a drink, but shes been so weird, very quite, cant wait until she can leave where i was working, i don't understand whats wrong with her, never really spoke much at all, only about work, i tried to make conversation but nothing, maybe you guys were right, shes lost all interest...???

[Jabron1]

:(So advice taken was gonna ask her 2day about going out for a drink, but shes been so weird, very quite, cant wait until she can leave where i was working, i don't understand whats wrong with her, never really spoke much at all, only about work, i tried to make conversation but nothing, maybe you guys were right, shes lost all interest...???

 

Come on, man. Women are flakey as hell.

 

This is why you should be spinning plates, asking out and seeing a bunch of them. Not getting all hung up on one.

 

You seriously can't allow yourself to get down in the dumps over one woman that you haven't even had sex with yet.

 

Try not to take stuff so serious.

 

And if the opportunity does arise, and the vibe is good, take it.

[truth_seeker]

Come on, man. Women are flakey as hell.

 

This is why you should be spinning plates, asking out and seeing a bunch of them. Not getting all hung up on one.

 

You seriously can't allow yourself to get down in the dumps over one woman that you haven't even had sex with yet.

 

Try not to take stuff so serious.

 

And if the opportunity does arise, and the vibe is good, take it.

 

Good points. If a woman is talking about you a lot (good or bad) she's into you. Yes, even if it's bad... girls don't get what they want from the guy, they'll trash him but then hours later they'll be so giddy about him and talking him up like he's the best thing since the invention of the vibrator.

 

OP should ask her out and let it be... even if she says no, there's a chance she comes around at a later time.

[smackie9]

omg she wants you to chase her, not make small talk! Flirt, give her a sultry stare, a wink, something! throw her a bone man.....

[truth_seeker]

throw her a bone man.....

 

make sure it's a big bone.

 

:bunny::bunny::bunny:

[carhill]

So basically, I've know this girl for around 5 years, never really fancied her, until she started to give me hugs every single time we met.

Long time for not being attracted to someone irrespective of any signals from them. I'd tend to discount reactive 'like'.

I'm not too sure if it was her game plan to give me loads of hugs so I would like/fancy her.

Try to think less and leave any game plans to fate.

My question is do girls give hugs to get someone to fancy/like them?

Sure, and a bazillion other reasons, either globally or in the moment.

Or just being friendly.... I mean a few days back I decided to " test the waters", so as she came to hug him, we hugged as usual but then I nuzzled her neck/ shoulder. After which we chatted for a bit & I left.

Sounds pretty normal to me for female friends who are affectionate in that way.

So the following two day, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. But on the third day nothing. Why?, she was very quite on the following two days.

Pretty simple. She didn't feel like it. It's that think less, feel more thing.

So really confused now.... Why would she act like this?

Because she feels like it. There is no solution to this. Just go with it and expect tomorrow could be the same or completely different, and without warning nor reason, though sometimes you might get one or both.

So please help all advice is welcome.... Does she like me, ? Or just bit of friendly flirting ?

She doesn't dislike you.

 

TBH, if you didn't fancy her prior to all this happening, sincerely, then I'd call it friendly moments and leave it alone. However, also in that vein, when you do fancy a lady, ask her on a date when you fancy her, and not because of anything specific she did or said. IOW, proactive, not reactive. Lead with your singular and authentic attraction.

 

The last time I got surprised like your deal, maybe a month ago, yeah similar length of knowing, my response was 'hey, how are your daughters and husband doing?' After many years of such interactions with dozens to hundreds of women, one develops an understanding of such matters. Accept things for how they are and focus in on what you want rather than trying to figure other people out.

[Jabron1]

The point is that women are overly-emotional and to get hung up on a woman's emotions for a man is suicidal.

 

I had a woman flake on me the other week. We were texting and the vibe was excellent. I arranged a date, and she gave me a really cool text the morning of the date where it was obvious that she was very excited. 2 hours later, she texts me saying that she'd "fell off her bike and her arm is probably broken, so she's going to stay home tonight" (no mention of a hospital or anything ).

 

She has completely ghosted on me since then. She hasn't even given me a courtesy text when I have asked her if she's okay.

 

This is the kind of nonsense that you have to deal with.

 

So, the question becomes this: what happened in those two hours to make her never want to speak to me again?

 

The answer to the question is: who cares? Next.

[Simon84]

What's the difference between a friendly hug & a hug from someone that likes you, but is too shy to say anything. Any examples? How would you hug your crush?

[seekingluck]

I don't know enough about your age and the context of the hug, but here are some general patterns.

 

Hugs become more intimate: closer or longer or both.

 

Next to keep in mind is body placement. Pelvises tend to be closer. This is intentional or insinctual.

 

Now this is a bit grey as there are more factors that define this, but more than friendly hugs, assuming all jnvolved are straight, men tend to pull you in closer to the waist vs the upper back. This is a personal space so a bolder guy would do this.

 

Pay attention to length, closeness and pelvis position. All are clues.

[seekingluck]

One clue is the dreaded side hug. That's when a girl hugs you, but turns to the side as she does so, and you're pretty much just touching her shoulder. Talk about cold shoulder...

 

The post above mine pretty much sums this issue up perfectly.

 

I am now more cognizant about side hugs. I don't think of them as a death wish. Sometimes it is more convenient. I am always hugging taller people and sometime I get lazy and go for the waist which may send the wrong message.

[Satu]

You would be even more confused in Europe.

 

We hug and kiss.

 

My father never greets a woman without kissing her hand.

 

Its all good.

[seekingluck]

You would be even more confused in Europe.

 

We hug and kiss.

 

My father never greets a woman without kissing her hand.

 

Its all good.

 

There was a trend when I was in college when American guys would try to be euro and steal a kiss. ??

[Satu]

There was a trend when I was in college when American guys would try to be euro and steal a kiss. ??

 

You made me think of this

 

 

Romeo:

If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

 

Juliet:

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

 

Romeo:

Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

 

Juliet:

Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

 

Romeo:

O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;

They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

 

Juliet:

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

 

Romeo:

Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.

Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

 

Juliet:

Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

 

Romeo:

Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again.

 

Juliet:

You kiss by the book.”

― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

[Shanex]

Id hug and kiss Satu. On the cheek eh

 

Yes in Europe its kiss on the cheek for female friends or during a party with young people. The hugs are more a 'Murica thing.

 

Obviously you dont kiss on the cheek your female manager or an older lady. Or the Queen of England, uh Haydn?

Edited May 29, 2016 by Shanex

[Gloria25]

How does the person that is hugging you interact with others?

 

I worked with a two-faced and fake woman who hugged everyone. She was also a brown-noser.

 

So either your co-worker is "huggy-friendly" or is interested in you cuz she only hugs you.

[JustGettingBy]

Friendly hugs tend to be quick (arms around, brief squeeze, arms off).

 

Romantic hugs tend to be held for longer.

[seekingluck]

How does the person that is hugging you interact with others?

 

I worked with a two-faced and fake woman who hugged everyone. She was also a brown-noser.

 

So either your co-worker is "huggy-friendly" or is interested in you cuz she only hugs you.

 

Hugs in themselves don't mean anything. The manner of the hug differs. I go in waves of being huggy friendly for a variety of off topic reasons. I'll hug men and women alike (and I am atteCted to men). Hugs with men I am interested in or attracts to last longer. And when a longer hug is inappropriate then there are other body language cues: lingering touches and staying close together post hug. Generally people tend to want to be near their crushes. So even after the hug ends they stick around. And stand just a little too close.

[Gloria25]

Hugs in themselves don't mean anything. The manner of the hug differs. I go in waves of being huggy friendly for a variety of off topic reasons. I'll hug men and women alike (and I am atteCted to men). Hugs with men I am interested in or attracts to last longer. And when a longer hug is inappropriate then there are other body language cues: lingering touches and staying close together post hug. Generally people tend to want to be near their crushes. So even after the hug ends they stick around. And stand just a little too close.

 

And that's why I suggested to the OP to observe how she hugs him in comparison to other people. Hopefully he can discern if she's hugging/treating him different.