Should I feel wrong??

[CalebThomas979]

Let me just start off by saying I know I'm going to be viewed as the devil and as a monster. I don't feel that's accurate because I've been nothing but honest!! To this girl. I've been sleeping with this same girl since March 2013. At first I told her I didn't have a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend the entire time. She found out and continued to sleep with me. She'd always yell at me or curse me out if she seen pics of me online with my gf so I figured maybe she's just not accepting it. She found out in Decemeber 2015 that I cheated on my girlfriend with someone else and that someone else is now my new girlfriend. She flipped out and wouldn't talk to me from about December until march of this year. I had to keep trying everyday to finally get her to talk or respond. Recently starting in March of this year when I finally got her to respond. We've started sleeping together again. At first it was just once a week. Now it's twice a week. Well it WAS twice a week ??. While we were sleeping together I started to use condoms and she started questioning me about using condoms asking why when it's been years. -_- I told her to protect from pregnancy (duh) especially since we've started to do it more often and I have a gf. Recently we had sex this past Wednesday I asked her to go buy condoms and she left her job early. After we had sex I simply asked her if she left work early JUST to purchase those condoms to have sex with me and THAT offended her wtf? I have asked her before if she was sneaking and recording us on her phone. While we were having sex and I ask her before we have sex where's her phone. She deleted her Social media because she wants to be away from negativity according to her....

Yesterday she sent me this email.

 

 

Hey.... I think we shouldn't be involved anymore.... I feel like I force it. It's been years and I just really ....don't feel happy. You always put other girls before me. It's always a diff one. I'll never be happy because I'll always want you to care and I need to just face it that you DON'T.

I really can tell that you don't care about me at all. I'm only hurting myself by waiting for that day that you'll actually say that you do care.... You basically let me know that it's the Car sex or its nothing between us. I just don't want to feel sad anymore. I realized last night when you asked me if I only left work to buy condoms how small minded you think I am. To be clear I did already have those condoms. I actually went to get gas BUT you'll believe what you want. I'm not this person that secretly records ppl. I was never this person until you painted that picture of me. I shouldn't have to be patted down (literally) for my phone because you think I'm gonna record you. I don't do things like that.... I just want to be the real person that I am. This isn't me. I'm not any of those things you make me seem like. I don't lie a lot. I don't manipulate. The only time I get angry and speak the way I do sometimes is with you. I just want to find someone else and I just want to be happy. And it'll NEVER happen if I don't let you go. I hope every thing goes good with ur career and everything ((: you don't have to respond. I know ur only going to say "k" or something like that. I've never been more honest about something.

 

 

She's an adult. She knew what she was getting into. I don't feel like I did anything bad. She's making it like I owe her an apology. But I've been honest with her what am I apologizing for?? Is it bad to sleep with FWB twice a week?

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't see where she's asking for an apology. She's being honest she isn't happy being your side-piece anymore. It's working for you (so to speak); it's not working for her. There's really nothing for you to reply to.

 

You're right that she apparently knew what she was getting into. But it's not what she wants any longer. That's it. it has nothing to do with how frequently you were sleeping together. She wants to find a partner, so she's not interested in meeting you for sex anymore.

 

Why do you have sex with other women when you have a girlfriend?

[CalebThomas979]

I don't see where she's asking for an apology. She's being honest she isn't happy being your side-piece anymore. It's working for you (so to speak); it's not working for her. There's really nothing for you to reply to.

 

You're right that she apparently knew what she was getting into. But it's not what she wants any longer. That's it. it has nothing to do with how frequently you were sleeping together. She wants to find a partner, so she's not interested in meeting you for sex anymore.

 

Why do you have sex with other women when you have a girlfriend?

 

Honestly.... And with her is the best sex I've ever had in my life.

[Zahara]

When she finally put a stop to this, why did you start to reach out to her everyday to get her to talk to you? Why didn't you leave her alone knowing that this was all causing her pain? When you knew she was emotionally attached to you and that you could not give her what she's always wanted?

 

She is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions but it also seems that she suffers from poor self-esteem and has no ability to make healthy and wise decisions for herself.

 

You on the other hand cheat like there's no tomorrow -- seems like you lack a conscience and any level of empathy. You have no issues hurting people, and I am not just speaking about this woman. You cheated on the last two girlfriends and you're now cheating with your current girlfriend.

 

Both of you are very dysfunctional and toxic.

 

Leave her alone. If you can't give her what she wants then let her go and find someone who will respect and care for her. It doesn't matter whether you are wrong or right anymore.

[CalebThomas979]

When she finally put a stop to this, why did you start to reach out to her everyday to get her to talk to you? Why didn't you leave her alone knowing that this was all causing her pain? When you knew she was emotionally attached to you and that you could not give her what she's always wanted?

 

She is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions but it also seems that she suffers from poor self-esteem and has no ability to make healthy and wise decisions for herself.

 

You on the other hand cheat like there's no tomorrow -- seems like you lack a conscience and any level of empathy. You have no issues hurting people, and I am not just speaking about this woman. You cheated on the last two girlfriends and you're now cheating with your current girlfriend.

 

Both of you are very dysfunctional and toxic.

 

Leave her alone. If you can't give her what she wants then let her go and find someone who will respect and care for her. It doesn't matter whether you are wrong or right anymore.

 

I like having her around. And I don't understand why all of a sudden it's "not working" for her

[elaine567]

She's not asking for an apology, she is just saying she is done with you. She obviously developed feelings for you, feelings that were never reciprocated and now she cannot do it any more.

Leave her alone.

[Zahara]

I like having her around. And I don't understand why all of a sudden it's "not working" for her

 

It isn't because she wants to be with someone that will love, care and respect her. You have no capability of doing that and it seems you have no concept of what that means. Just because you have no ability to feel or attach with any kind of depth, it doesn't mean she has to go along on your journey.

 

It has not been working for her since the day she found out you were cheating. She only stayed because she was hoping you would change your mind about her and give her a committed relationship. She didn't stay because it was "working" for her.

Edited May 20, 2016 by Zahara

[ExpatInItaly]

I like having her around. And I don't understand why all of a sudden it's "not working" for her

 

It doesn't matter why.

 

The only important point is that she's lost interest in being your sex buddy. Leave her alone.

[d0nnivain]

I like having her around. And I don't understand why all of a sudden it's "not working" for her

 

She wants to be your GF, the main squeeze, the one you take out . . .not just the dirty little secret you have on the side.

 

She knows you will never give her that. She knows you are using her & for while she may have been OK with it but now she is developing some self respect.

 

Leave her be.

[CalebThomas979]

I haven't said a word to her since she sent this message.... But like I said I do like having her around. I've known her for years. She agreed to it. She slept with me every week!! That's kind of a lot for ppl who aren't dating. That's why I made that point. I'm just saying........ Maybe that's why she got so attached to me

[Zahara]

I haven't said a word to her since she sent this message.... But like I said I do like having her around. I've known her for years. She agreed to it. She slept with me every week!! That's kind of a lot for ppl who aren't dating. That's why I made that point. I'm just saying........ Maybe that's why she got so attached to me

 

She agreed to it, she stayed with you, she had sex with you -- ONLY because she was hoping one day you'd give her what she wanted. She didn't do all that just for the sex and company.

[S2B]

She is explaining that she doesn't want to anymore because you have had multiple girlfriends but it's never her.

 

She's that back burner gal. And since that's good enough for you and you keep taking other girls out on dates = that hurts her feelings.

 

No one likes being used. And since that's the way it's been - she wants to end it.

 

So just leave her alone. That way she can find a man that DATES her.

[vanhalenfan]

Are you going to address the fact that you are a cheater? Does this matter to you that you are hurting others?

[CalebThomas979]

Well I'm confused about how I feel about her. Last time she ignored me.... I did miss her. My gf now is more like fitting for me tho. She's into like the Botox and all that and make up. This girl is very beautiful too but she has a more natural look to her. I like to show my gf off honestly. Everyone pretty much knows I slept with this girl and said I want nothing to do with her but sex. How stupid would I look if I dated her to eveyone?! Very stupid. Idk she made a comment to me saying if I loved my gf so much she wouldn't be around at all. I don't know how I feel. Would I have to be head over heels not to cheat??

[Cinnamonstix]

Well I'm confused about how I feel about her. Last time she ignored me.... I did miss her. My gf now is more like fitting for me tho. She's into like the Botox and all that and make up. This girl is very beautiful too but she has a more natural look to her. I like to show my gf off honestly. Everyone pretty much knows I slept with this girl and said I want nothing to do with her but sex. How stupid would I look if I dated her to eveyone?! Very stupid. Idk she made a comment to me saying if I loved my gf so much she wouldn't be around at all. I don't know how I feel. Would I have to be head over heels not to cheat??

 

You sound like a sociopath.

[Space Ritual]

Sounds like you are going to have to learn the hard way. Sometimes people do.

 

For whatever reason, you don't seem to take anybody's feelings into account but your own. It may be working for you now, but sooner or later people get sick of being treated terribly, whether they are a girlfriend, or a FWB.

 

One of these days it is going to catch up with you. You can only disrespect so many people for so long before you yourself will be disrespected. Seeing you have not really had much in the way of consequence for your actions thus far, you don't see any need to change your behavior.

 

Some people are able to get away with it for along time. You? Probably not so much. I don't think you are doing it out of malice, I think you are just utterly clueless on how to behave. Your responses thus far are pretty indicative of that.

 

Leave her alone. And Grow Up. In that Order.

[TunaCat]

How stupid would I look if I dated her to eveyone?! Very stupid. Idk she made a comment to me saying if I loved my gf so much she wouldn't be around at all. I don't know how I feel. Would I have to be head over heels not to cheat??

 

First of all, you'd look MUCH less stupid if you stopped all the cheating, focused on, dated and had sex with ONE girl.

 

Secondly, in order to not cheat, you'd have to be a decent man, which you definitely are not. You don't have to be head over heels not to cheat, you just have to be a decent human being.

[CalebThomas979]

She KNEW she was a FWB. She then started expecting me to do things with her as years went by. A few weeks ago she told me she was gonna leave because I don't care about her and I told her I do care!! I mean not to date tho

[Zahara]

She KNEW she was a FWB. She then started expecting me to do things with her as years went by. A few weeks ago she told me she was gonna leave because I don't care about her and I told her I do care!! I mean not to date tho

 

You don't care. Look at how horribly you treat your girlfriends, let alone an FWB. The only thing you care about is yourself.

[CalebThomas979]

You don't care. Look at how horribly you treat your girlfriends, let alone an FWB. The only thing you care about is yourself.

 

I care. I mean this is what she agreed too!?

[Hopeful714]

Wow. Just wow. You really don't get it.

 

She doesn't want you anymore because she knows she can do better than you. You just want her back for the sex and your ego. Yes, she agreed to the deal of Fwb, but now it's over. She's done. Accept it.

 

The only thing you care about is yourself. This is evident by the way your treating all these girls. All you see is the way they look and satisfy you in bed. Don't you see that cheating is wrong?

 

You objectify women. Meaning you don't look at them as people, but objects for your use. This really is a serious problem.

[S2B]

I care. I mean this is what she agreed too!?

 

And now she told you no more.

 

So you should respect that. Let her go - so she can find a real man to take her out on dates and have a future with.

 

Just leave her alone.

[ExpatInItaly]

I care. I mean this is what she agreed too!?

 

So? Now she doesn't want it anymore.

 

What do you not understand about that? It's a simple concept, OP. I know your ego is bruised but you demonstrate a serious lack of maturity and insight on this matter.

 

At the risk of sounding blunt - get over yourself.

[CalebThomas979]

Im positive if she were to come here saying "he doesn't spend time with me" "he doesn't care about me" you guys would tell her it's what she signed up for.

[elaine567]

I care. I mean this is what she agreed too!?

Yes, and now she is pulling out of the "agreement" as it no longer suits her. She is perfectly entitled to do that surely?