Living together

[hew]

Hi All,

 

So I'm sort of in a bit of a funk. I have been single the past 5 years and I always really wanted a relationship. Now that Im in one Im happy. However, we just moved in together after 3 months and I'm freaked out. I realize how much I loved being single and living alone. Im terrified I made a mistake. He has a new job since moving in with me and he tells me he wants to spend our lives together.

 

I just think it was way too fast. He is someone I have known all my life and been good friends with as of the past 3 years. However, we never saw each other because he lived an hour away but we texted and talked online and the phone all the time. Since we have been dating we saw each other about once a week and always missed each other a lot.

 

I don't know if Im just freaked out about how sudden it all is, or if I really did make a mistake by allowing him to move in my apartment with me. I like when he's at work because I get to be alone. I feel like a terrible person.

[d0nnivain]

You are not a terrible person but you did make a bad, rushed decision. Just because you have known him for a while, you only dated him for 90 days. That is hardly enough time to decide if you are ready for the commitment of living together. On top of that you made this decision for practical / economic reasons -- because you were living an hour apart. That isn't really an insurmountable distance.

 

 

But now he has spent money & time relocating. For you to kick him out just like that would be a tad mean, IMO. You do have to talk to him about how overwhelmed you are feeling. You should tell him you would prefer he move out but you need to give him time to find a new place. I'd also offer to pay for the movers or other costs associated with this move because it's not fair to make him pay 2x.

[BettyDraper]

I think that kicking out your boyfriend would be selfish. I'm not sure why you moved in together after only 90 days of dating. However,you have made that decision and you owe it to your boyfriend to learn to adjust. Sharing a space with someone after living alone is hard and that's why it's best not to move in with a partner unless you know you're in it for the long haul.

 

Share your feelings with your boyfriend but please don't jump the gun and ask him to move. Take some time to see if you are just nervous because of the extra commitment.