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Don't remember kissing stranger while drunk. Will my bf be able to forgive.

Littledragon1

By Littledragon1,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Littledragon1

Littledragon1

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I am 19 my current boyfriend is my first love. My previous relationship was an open relationship, which ended as we realised we didn't like each other anymore, after this I spent quite a bit of time getting drunk and wanting to kiss guys on nights out. I know that monogamy and being faithful is truly important to my current boyfriend and I respect that, I have been changing my unorthodox views for him because I love him and want to be with him. I even stopped feeling regretful that I can't have sex with a guy I had a friends with benefits thing going with. I learned to have fun even when my bf isn't there on a night out and not get with anyone. I am ok with being faithful to him, or at least I thought I was.

 

A couple of nights ago I got black out drunk and kissed a stranger. I was so drunk that I later became violent and couldn't even say what year it was. I know that I am responsible for getting myself in that state, and I am partly to blame. Will my bf be able to forgive me for doing something I cannot remember doing? My friend told me what happened that night and as soon as I found out I told my boyfriend, it makes me feel so guilty and disappointed that I could do that to him.

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stillafool

stillafool

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Forget about the boyfriend. You need to get help for your alcoholism. Please get help immediately before you look up 10 years from now and don't even recognize the woman in the mirror. Put the boyfriends on hold and get help.

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PrettyEmily77

PrettyEmily77

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Firstly, you're not partly to blame; you are fully responsible for your own actions.

 

Secondly, I don't know what your BF will make of this but I really think your relationship with alcohol is a much bigger and more concerning issue than your 'unorthodox' views on relationships - you should address this problem as a matter of priority.

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Satu

Satu

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As stated by stillafool and PrettyEmily77, you have a drink problem.

 

A serious one.

 

If you don't get help with it, it will wreck your life.

 

 

"The young adult subtype accounts for about 32% of U.S. alcoholics. They're young adults who rarely seek help for alcohol dependence. About 24 years old, they became alcoholics by age 20, on average. They drink less frequently than other alcoholics, but they tend to binge drink when they drink. This is the largest subtype."

 

"When most people think of alcoholics, they think of middle-aged men with a profile similar to our chronic severe subtype."

 

"Our data shows that alcoholism is more a disorder of youth than previously suspected,"

 

"While some alcoholic subtypes may function better than others, "in all cases, alcohol dependence must be viewed as a severe disease with a significant adverse impact on health and well-being."

 

Source here.

 

 

Call your doctor, and make an appointment asap.

 

 

Take care.

Edited by Satu
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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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I am 19 my current boyfriend is my first love. My previous relationship was an open relationship, which ended as we realised we didn't like each other anymore, after this I spent quite a bit of time getting drunk and wanting to kiss guys on nights out. I know that monogamy and being faithful is truly important to my current boyfriend and I respect that, I have been changing my unorthodox views for him because I love him and want to be with him. I even stopped feeling regretful that I can't have sex with a guy I had a friends with benefits thing going with. I learned to have fun even when my bf isn't there on a night out and not get with anyone. I am ok with being faithful to him, or at least I thought I was.

 

A couple of nights ago I got black out drunk and kissed a stranger. I was so drunk that I later became violent and couldn't even say what year it was. I know that I am responsible for getting myself in that state, and I am partly to blame. Will my bf be able to forgive me for doing something I cannot remember doing? My friend told me what happened that night and as soon as I found out I told my boyfriend, it makes me feel so guilty and disappointed that I could do that to him.

 

Why?

 

You are 19. Of course he may forgive you until you do it again. After all you are 19 and am ok being faithful to him. Until you're not.

 

The point is that at your age, and getting drunk and lowering your inhibitions, you stand to put yourself in a very precarious position if you continue at this rate. You may kiss the wrong stranger and end up in a dumpster.

 

Be a little more careful about your surroundings when drinking. No one here is going to make you stop drinking as right now you find it enjoyable. Just try to be a but safer and try to limit your Girls Night Out. They don't seem to do you very much good.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Some guys might forgive. Some guys won't be able to get past it. You know your BF; we don't.

 

 

I will tell you that if my SO kissed somebody else after getting black out drunk I would not even begin to discuss the infidelity issue unless he addressed the alcohol consumption. Without addressing the booze, the fear would be every time you have a drink you will end up cheating.

 

 

For your own sake & health do some soul searching regarding your drinking habits.

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DevotedBaker54

DevotedBaker54

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It sounds like this is a wake up call for you. Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to realize we need to make changes in our lives. All you can do is ask for your boyfriend's forgiveness.

In the meantime maybe you can make some life changes so this doesn't happen again. Maybe you can check out some Alcoholics Anonymous groups in your area or speak to a counselor.

I think admitting you made a mistake is the first step so you're headed in a good direction!

Best of luck!

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PrettyEmily77

PrettyEmily77

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Again. Guy gets drunk and cheats -- it's 100% his fault and he can't use the alcohol as an "excuse." Girl gets drunk and cheats -- zero responsibility, it's all about her "drinking problem."

 

Dude, are we reading the same threads??

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frus69

frus69

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Dude, are we reading the same threads??

 

He is also advising on another thread that the guy who cheated should lie and keep it to himself

He is dangerous,in my opinion

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basil67

basil67

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Some guys might forgive. Some guys won't be able to get past it. You know your BF; we don't.

 

 

I will tell you that if my SO kissed somebody else after getting black out drunk I would not even begin to discuss the infidelity issue unless he addressed the alcohol consumption. Without addressing the booze, the fear would be every time you have a drink you will end up cheating.

 

 

For your own sake & health do some soul searching regarding your drinking habits.

 

Agree 100%. Before forgiving the kissing, I'd be wanting to see long term and sustained changes to your alcohol use.

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