Don't know what my gf means?

[eddpad]

Ok so here it is. My girlfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago on grounds that she didn't want to be in a relationship right now. I am 22 and she is now 19, and we have been going out for 4 years, so do the math. She says she needs some time to herself as an individual and sort things out.

 

I decided to go no contact after the frist week until yesterday when I received a message from her asking me to not be a stranger and call her later that day. I thought maybe she was thinking I wasn't calling her because I was immature, and that's the last thing I need her to think about me. So I called her and right when we were gonna break she told me the same thing, dson't be a stranger. I told her I was trying to stay away to give her the time apart she needed. She has told me over and over again that the reason this i happening is because of herself and her desire to be alone and not in an rship. I wanna believe her that she is telling me the truth, what i'm uncertain about is how much of it is not wanting to be in an rship period or confusion about me. I doubt she thinks I'm a jerk since we went out for so long and we never had any really bad fights or abuse in any way shape or form.

 

One thing she did tell me the night she broke the news to me was "Look, I just need some time alone, I need to be by myself, just wait." She needs time yet she insists that we keep talking to each other every once and a while. And I don't know what to make of it. Is she trying to jsut simply be my friend? Or is she trying to keep in contact with me because she doesn't want to lose me? Or because she doesn't know how long this break will last?

 

I know time and patience are my best friends now and I know that most couples go through this time apart stage. But that's all I can hope, is that its just time apart that will only make us stronger.

 

So I guess I'm mostly interested in anyone that has been in this similar situation, male or female. And if you are female, perhaps you could give forth some more insight on what exactly you think my gf might be feeling. Thank You so much.

[Sal Paradise]

Tell her its fine for her to need time a part but you can't be there for her while she does it. Don't worry about what she thinks of you. You were right to issue NO CONTACT. Go back to no contact. Tell her you can't stay friends with her because you want more and it isn't fair to you to have to wait around until she figures out what she wants. Hell for all you know she could be seeing someone else and wants to see if the OM is what she wants. So she wants to keep you around just in case. Drop her. If she figures out what she wants great. But let her beg to have you back. Make her come to you. Trust me if you stay in contact you'll get hurt.

[lostinmymind]

Don't try to hold on, don't try to do anything charming to make her want you back. Nothing will work, she needs time and nothing else. I know it sucks, the same situation is happening to me right now. My girlfriend is 18, I am 19. She wants a break from our relationship...but not me, sounds like your girl is wanting the same. You can try to make her realize this isn't fair to you, but if she doesn't realize that you need to drop it and give her time to figure that out. Don't do what I did and beg and plead for her back it will only get worse.

 

No contact is best for now, maybe for a month or so, but low contact could be ok too if this break lasts longer. Let her contact you. Just keep things brief, if she talks about other guys then you need to end the conversation immediately.

 

If you have been good to her she will remember that, don't think she will forget about you, because she won't.

 

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Do what is good for yourself too, don't take her back of she hasn't changed. You are both young, so if it is meant to be you will meet up again.

 

This article helped me out a little..not sure how accurate the advice is though: http://www.advicediva.com/ad/tips/constantcontact.asp