Girlfriend Reactivate Online Dating Profile

[Conviction]

Thanks for all of the messages and advice. Here is a quick update:

 

I have not confronted her yet. But, long story, I have learned that she is not a paid member of the dating website and therefore can not send or receive messages. So, I am just formulating what to do as I learn more information.

 

Of course she's not. Why pay for the service when you can browse the selection first, then pay later once you've discovered what's out there.

[katiegrl]

Of course she's not. Why pay for the service when you can browse the selection first, then pay later once you've discovered what's out there.

 

I recall during my brief stint on match.com, I was not a paid member, but my account was active and I could receive emails.

 

I couldn't respond back until I became a paid member but I recall too there was free trial going on - one month free for the ladies. During which I could receive AND respond back.

 

So although she is not a paying member, she may have gotten wind of the free trial and is taking advantage of that.

 

Other dating sites offer free trials too.

Edited May 25, 2016 by katiegrl

[EdLover]

I recall during my brief stint on match.com, I was not a paid member, but my account was active and I could receive emails.

 

I couldn't respond back until I became a paid member but I recall too there was free trial going on - one month free for the ladies. During which I could receive AND respond back.

 

So although she is not a paying member, she may have gotten wind of the free trial and is taking advantage of that.

 

Other dating sites offer free trials too.

 

That is a good point but after doing some investigating, I know for a fact that is not the case.

[katiegrl]

That is a good point but after doing some investigating, I know for a fact that is not the case.

 

Perhaps she is looking for a little attention from other guys then?

 

Has no intention actually communicating with or meeting them, just wants to see how many messages she gets.

 

Just a thought.

[EdLover]

I recall during my brief stint on match.com, I was not a paid member, but my account was active and I could receive emails.

 

I couldn't respond back until I became a paid member but I recall too there was free trial going on - one month free for the ladies. During which I could receive AND respond back.

 

So although she is not a paying member, she may have gotten wind of the free trial and is taking advantage of that.

 

Other dating sites offer free trials too.

 

Perhaps she is looking for a little attention from other guys then?

 

Has no intention actually communicating with or meeting them, just wants to see how many messages she gets.

 

Just a thought.

 

I'm not quite sure what the rationale would be. That's the perplexing part.

[katiegrl]

I'm not quite sure what the rationale would be. That's the perplexing part.

 

If she isn't a paying member, and can only receive messages... she just wants to know if other men find her attractive tis all.

 

How long have you been dating her? Apologies if you mentioned that already.

[EdLover]

If she isn't a paying member, and can only receive message... she just wants to know if other men find her attractive tis all.

 

How long have you been dating her? Apologies if you mentioned that already.

 

Just shy of 8 months.

[katiegrl]

Just shy of 8 months.

 

I dunno.... I am sure you think everything is great in your RL, but does she?

 

One just never knows about these things.... often times folks get dumped and NEVER saw it coming. Thought everything was just perfect.

 

Meanwhile his/her partner had been thinking about it for months prior to actually doing it.

 

Exploring other options. Dipping her toes.

 

Which it sounds like what she is doing.... dipping her toes.

[EdLover]

I dunno.... I am sure you think everything is great in your RL, but does she?

 

One just never knows about these things.... often times folks get dumped and NEVER saw it coming. Thought everything was just perfect.

 

Meanwhile his/her partner had been thinking about it for months prior to actually doing it.

 

Exploring other options. Dipping her toes.

 

Which it sounds like what she is doing.... dipping her toes.

 

She hasn't said or done anything to indicate things aren't great.

 

You may be right about dipping her toes but I'm concerned about what dipping her toes could lead to next.

[frus69]

You are not gonna find the answer here you know that right ?

Sometimes your profile is still up even after you stop using it, maybe that's the case?

 

Why don't you set up a fake profile with a hot pic and start taking to her then see what happens

[Gaeta]

I would not care if she is a member or not, that she can send or receive message or not. She has no business being on there advertising herself as single and looking.

 

And this is just one site. Maybe she is on other sites, in which she is a member. When I was doing online dating I was always on 2 sites at a time and would alternate. A month on POF, a month on zoosk, a month on Okcupi. etc.

 

Don't be a fool.

[Space Ritual]

She hasn't said or done anything to indicate things aren't great.

 

You may be right about dipping her toes but I'm concerned about what dipping her toes could lead to next.

 

It matters not.

 

You said earlier she actually Reactivated her account?

 

Regardless that is all you need to know.

 

No one reactivates an Online Dating Account in the midst of a relationship unless they are looking for what they consider to be an upgrade for the summer social season.

 

 

You can analyze her reasoning until the cows come home. But it all still boils down to her taking the action of reactivating the account.

 

Life is too short playing such games with someone. Get the screen shots, pack her stuff in garbage bags and set it outside and call her up and tell her to come pick it up. Otherwise you will be sucked into a Summer of being paranoid and suspicious. 8 months is not very much invested overall. Get rid of her this week.

[PegNosePete]

She hasn't said or done anything to indicate things aren't great.

Uh, apart from joining a dating site???

 

That is a very clear indication that things are not right in a relationship. She is looking for a replacement. When she finds one, you'll get the boot.

 

Don't allow people to treat you like this. Confront, ASAP.

[lolablue17]

I don't know why are you so polite and indecisive about it. Tell her today that you know about it and for you, reactivation a membership in a dating service, paid or free, limited service or not, is a relationship terminator, and if she has no good explanation about it, (like - "an alien has kidnappped me and using my profile"), so it's over and done. There is nothing to talk about.

Edited May 25, 2016 by lolablue17

[EdLover]

So, I finally confronted her about it. I had my friend send me a screenshot of her profile. I just laid it out there and asked for an explanation.

 

She "claims" that her friend want to look and see if someone she (the friend nows) was on the site or not. I really didn't buy that explanation as her friend could have set up her own profile to look.

 

So, that made my decision easy so I ended things with her.

[VeveCakes]

Good for you, her excuse was BS.

[PegNosePete]

Sorry dude. Well handled though, and glad you instantly saw through her obviously bogus excuse. That excuse is about as believable as Nazis living on the dark side of the moon.

[Space Ritual]

So, I finally confronted her about it. I had my friend send me a screenshot of her profile. I just laid it out there and asked for an explanation.

 

She "claims" that her friend want to look and see if someone she (the friend nows) was on the site or not. I really didn't buy that explanation as her friend could have set up her own profile to look.

 

So, that made my decision easy so I ended things with her.

 

Happy for you that you decided to act and not let this go. You should be proud of yourself. You can only imagine how many people come here that can't or won't pull the trigger on their relationship for whatever reason, only to stay in turmoil and pain.

 

You are not one of those people. Now make her insignificant, by deleting her phone number, email address and blocking her on all social media.

 

The goal is to reach a point of complete indifference to this woman so no contact means no new hurt.

[Space Ritual]

Sorry dude. Well handled though, and glad you instantly saw through her obviously bogus excuse. That excuse is about as believable as Nazis living on the dark side of the moon.

 

You mean Iron Sky was not a documentary?

 

LOL!

[CarrieT]

You mean Iron Sky was not a documentary?

 

I love that movie...

 

Ed, you did the right thing. Keep in mind she may try to contact you again with begging or pleading, but it is probably to move forward.

[Darren Steez]

So, I finally confronted her about it. I had my friend send me a screenshot of her profile. I just laid it out there and asked for an explanation.

 

She "claims" that her friend want to look and see if someone she (the friend nows) was on the site or not. I really didn't buy that explanation as her friend could have set up her own profile to look.

 

So, that made my decision easy so I ended things with her.

 

It takes 5 seconds to join these sites and you don't even need to put a picture up, so that goes down as the lamest excuse ever.

 

You also know must of these sites don't need you to pay, so although you can't receive and send messages, you can still like or show interest in someone and they can see your profile and do the same, even sending a message which she obviously won't be able to read but there are ways around that.

 

Dumping her was the right move. She'll respect you more because you won't put up with being played like that. It shows you know your value and self worth.

[Gaeta]

So, I finally confronted her about it. I had my friend send me a screenshot of her profile. I just laid it out there and asked for an explanation.

 

She "claims" that her friend want to look and see if someone she (the friend nows) was on the site or not. I really didn't buy that explanation as her friend could have set up her own profile to look.

 

So, that made my decision easy so I ended things with her.

 

Congrats for having a spinal cord.

 

Out of curiosity how did she react?

[Toodaloo]

Well done Edlover.

 

You keep those boundaries as they are and you will soon find yourself with a really great lass and a heck of a lot happier than you are now...!

 

Good on you!

[Seerum]

I never understood or liked woman doing this.

 

They are not happy in their current relationship but do not want to be single. So what do they do with their great mind.

 

String one along while shopping for the replacement. Really? that's how cheating and affairs happen.

 

People need to learn if your not happy in a relationship and there is no fix to it then break it off and move forward. It's ok to be single the world will not end.

 

I would drop her before she finds a new one just to mess up her system she has going.

 

Good luck.