What do I do? Ex contacted me after 1 month of NC.

[lennon23]

A quick recap: My ex and I broke up two months ago. We are both in our early twenties and no cheating or other people were involved. Last time we spoke and saw each other was a little over a month ago. It was a bad meeting because he ended yelling and being hostile against me. I initiated no contact immediately after this, deleted him off all social media, and avoided him at all cost even though we have mutual friends. I did really well and have been happier since.

 

However, two days ago he asks our friend about me and if I've mentioned him at all. My friend says that we haven't talked about him. He tells my friend he wants to apologize to me and my friend tells me this as a heads up.

 

Later that night I receive a message from him apologizing about the last time we saw each other. He admitted all of his wrongs and that he was to blame for everything. He said he couldn't face me and my friends and have felt mad and sad about the whole thing. He continued to FaceTime me. This was super late at night at like 2 am. I shouldn't have picked up the call but I did. He poured his heart out to me and said he missed and loved me. That I meant so much to him. That he messed up and he thought he had to figure his things out which is why he couldn't be with me. I told him how cruel he was to me but I am happier now. I let him know how much he hurt me and he agreed with me. He also said some stupid things about how he "never really left me, he worries about me, misses me, etc etc." I didn't tell him I missed him back or that I still loved him. Like I said it was late and I was trying to process everything still. I didn't want to say anything I was going to regret.

 

He stayed on the phone for hours and there was some casual talk aside from the serious relationship stuff he brought up. He told me everything he's been up to and asked what I've been up to. I gave vague responses. He never flat out said he wanted to get back together but kind of implied it.

 

The next day he texts me something casual. He also wanted to hang out the following day. I told him it wasn't a good idea and he said it was. Then I flat out asked him what he wanted and if he wanted me back. He said "Of course I want you back but am I ready? I'm not. I enjoy the feeling of being alone." I responded with an ok and left it alone. I saw him later on that day with mutual friends and we both acted very distant. Then I sent him a message later on saying we can't be friends and should go back to not contacting each other so we can both move on. He disregarded this message and continued to talk to me like everything was cool. He also said I'm gonna see him all the time now. I asked him why and he said the reason why he was never around our friends before was because he didn't have the courage to face me. Basically I feel like he was only trying to rid of his guilt and nothing else.

 

I'm feeling plenty of mixed emotions. I'm sad and angry. I feel like I'm back to square one and have reverted to being depressed over this. I had the notion he'd want to try again but he played me like a fool by saying all of these sweet things. Why would he do that? And where do I go from here?

 

I just need some guidance as to what I should do from here on out. There is an open line of communication now and I'm not sure if I feel comfortable about that. I tried to cut all ties with him in a good way instead of being in bad terms like last time but he won't seem to accept it. If there's a chance of us getting back together do I keep the door open? I just really don't know what to do with myself. I'm back to crying over this constantly.

[Satu]

snip

I just need some guidance as to what I should do from here on out. *There is an open line of communication now and I'm not sure if I feel comfortable about that. I tried to cut all ties with him in a good way instead of being in bad terms like last time but he won't seem to accept it. If there's a chance of us getting back together do I keep the door open? I just really don't know what to do with myself. I'm back to crying over this constantly.

 

 

*If you don't block him, it isn't really NC.

 

Block him.

 

> Fixed.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete him from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.