Snagging someone else's woman - An Alpha move?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yes, this has been known to happen. Didn't know quite sure what thread to put this under, so I picked "dating".

 

Recently, I heard a "How we met and got married" story from a man I had not been in touch with since the high school days.

 

Apparently, he had been married happily for 20 years and told me that when he was like 18 or 19 met her as she was a Winn Dixie cashier that had a boyfriend.

 

Apparently, he strong armed or intimidated her boyfriend enough to hand her off to him.

 

It was a situation where he caught them in the parking lot together on her break in his car.

 

He has already been encountering her routinely at the store, but decided to make his move by approaching them both in the car and saying, "She's my girl now, not yours anymore (I'm just paraphrasing, but it was so cave man like that it was enough to intimidate the boyfriend into giving her up)

 

He didn't threaten him with violence, but just was firm about his intentions of stealing his woman away from him...and...he let him do it.

 

She ran off with him, and the rest was marital bliss.

 

I've heard of few other instances like this, where a guy was running a volunteer booth and was partnered up with a beautiful woman from his church. She was engaged (take obviously), but this situation was less confrontational...he just asked her to eat after they broke down the booth...and somehow was able to finaggle his way into her heart...and she called off the engagement.

 

They got married.

 

I have noticed that every one of these encounters wound up in marriage. So I was wondered if that had any influence?

 

With all these threads that pop up, "Should I pursue this woman who already has a boyfriend" with tons saying that would be a rather pond scummy move and your'e a creep for doing so...apparently it HAS worked for some!

 

Thoughts?

[Emilia]

When I lived in a more conservative country with some seriously backward people around me, one guy got a girlfriend who initially turned him down by smacking her face into the wall a couple of times.

 

I guess that was an alpha move

 

[Laprus9]

I've met a few of these alpha men and it's funny how a run in with divorce system soon reduces these men to beta and omega males. They lose everything, their wealth, their house, their children and are reduced to shells of their former selves.

 

It's a beautiful sight watching these men destroyed by not another man but a system of justice. The only men that are alpha's are judges, barristers and solicitors, everyone else is a beta and omega male and that includes me.

[ManyDissapoint]

Wondering about it myself because I can't shake the dirty feeling when I think about putting the moves on taken women. But on the other hand I know limitless stories of women who only operate in this way.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Wondering about it myself because I can't shake the dirty feeling when I think about putting the moves on taken women. But on the other hand I know limitless stories of women who only operate in this way.

 

Yeah, I know of a man that was out with his date, an attractive woman...he was more average looking. Apparently, a rather good looking guy approached her in HIS presence, not even considering that they are a couple.

 

I think there are some men out there that are arrogant enough to think, "I'm much hotter than the guy she's with, so I'd have no problem snagging her."

 

Or..he could just be assuming, "Oh, must be her homely brother or cousin, I'll go make a pass at her."

[Got it]

Does it show to "work" at times? Sure. But it also doesn't work numerous times. Do you think you may have confirmation bias as it is showing you what you want to see?

[Just a Guy]

Hi folks, interesting topic. However, my own feeling is that if a woman is so fickle as to ditch her fiance or boyfriend for someone so obtrusive, I would feel that she was not worth it to invest emotionally in, as it is. Just because a woman is good looking does not mean she is a good person unless she shoes she had what it takes to maintain a serious relationship. If one were to marry a fickle minded woman then one should always worry about losing her to the next good looking guy who hits on her. Just my own opinion.

[Toodaloo]

I don't find either the womans or the mans behaviour particularly acceptable or desirable in the cases you describe...

 

I guess if you are trying to keep up with the Jones' then nicking Mrs Jones may work...

 

What you will probably find though is that in each case the couple were happy enough and had "settled" then discovered that settling for someone really isn't all that great, they found their love and ran with it.

 

This is why its so important to never, ever just settle or give people you are not really into a "chance" because all it does long term is lead to heart break...

 

It has nothing to do with Alpha/ Beta or whatever.

 

It has everything with behaving with dignity and respect and treating others as you would wish to be treated. Clearly something that is distinctly lacking in both examples given.

[elaine567]

Any man doing this, would need to know that the woman in question had some sort of attraction for him, she was not madly in love with her bf, she was in fact looking for a way out and she is the type of woman who appreciates such cave men tactics.

Otherwise it won't work.

The "alpha" move on its own wouldn't be successful, i.e. it is not a fool proof way of securing a bride...

[NTV]

If a dude came up to me and said 'your wife is mine now'....and my wife wanted that? yeah, I'd let her go too. Something that easily lost can't be that valuable.

[LookAtThisPOst]

If a dude came up to me and said 'your wife is mine now'....and my wife wanted that? yeah, I'd let her go too. Something that easily lost can't be that valuable.

 

Not talking about a spouse, talking about a girlfriend. Big difference.

[2.50 a gallon]

I am no way an alpha, more like some one who could care less what others think, as I am just out to live my life the way I want.

Whenever I met a woman that I was attracted to I just assumed that most likely she already had a boy friend and that if I wanted to date her I would have to find a way to take her away from him.

So yes have done it dozens of times.

Until he put a ring on her finger she was fair game.

My Ex-fiancé had the face and body of a young Sophia Loren. There was no way I was going to walk out of her life without giving it the college try. She must have turned me down close to half a dozen times. One date was all it took, it was then that I found out that she was dating two guys, one she was considering getting engaged to.

When I met my current GF she was divorced and living with the love of her life. He was a semi-pro boxer, who was a look alike to her favorite actor Steven Segal. I just waited until he made a mistake, it took about 2 years. We have now been together for 20 plus years.

[Woggle]

It is easy as hell to get a woman to cheat. If I wanted to I could be with plenty of other women but I never would even if I weren't with the love of my wife. Some sense of principles and brotherhood for your fellow man should also fit into the alpha equation. Getting a single woman smitten with you is a much more impressive feat. People these days have a completely skewed vision of what alpha qualities and strength are.

[NTV]

Not talking about a spouse, talking about a girlfriend. Big difference.

 

I don't think that in this instance there is. Any chick, girlfriend, fiancé, wife (and I'd like to make that gender neutral, but I'm a dude, so for me it's gonna be these terms) that'll ditch me for a relationship with another dude for ANY reason isn't worth my time pursuing.

 

 

And if it's for some guy that wants to be all caveman 'ugh, you me, now', then that's even better because I'll know that I totally dodge a bullet that dude's about to take.

 

 

If you're putting it in terms of alpha/beta, then I'd guess that the guy not getting stuck with a train-wreck is probably in a greater position of power.

 

 

But, then again, I'm just some dude on the internet.

[dichotomy]

Sneaking around and working his way into another guys -GF/Wife pants - yep happens all the time, same with women pursing a guy who has a girl - not sure it leads to long term relationship and marriages...most cheating does not.

 

 

Never exactly seen it happening - flat out - clear intentions of taking a girl - in front of a guy and his girl. usually that's going to be a fight.

 

 

kind a sort seen this before with women (girl trying to steal guy right in front of the guys GF/wife).

[elaine567]

kind a sort seen this before with women (girl trying to steal guy right in front of the guys GF/wife).

 

Same thing.

[RecentChange]

As a female, I just shake my head at this story.

 

I can't imagine!! First, having a BF that was so spineless that he would just say "yeah okay you can have her" and the fact that she could just be "traded" like a commodity.

 

So what was her story? She was cheating on the BF with the Alpha, and just sat there doe eyed during the confrontation or what?

[Woggle]

I would tell a man she is his problem now and wash my hands clean of her. It is not because I have no spine but I have self respect.

[Haydn]

Whats an `alpha` move?

 

Insisting on a night at the Snooker club?

[SammySammy]

Hi folks, interesting topic. However, my own feeling is that if a woman is so fickle as to ditch her fiance or boyfriend for someone so obtrusive, I would feel that she was not worth it to invest emotionally in, as it is. Just because a woman is good looking does not mean she is a good person unless she shoes she had what it takes to maintain a serious relationship. If one were to marry a fickle minded woman then one should always worry about losing her to the next good looking guy who hits on her. Just my own opinion.

 

Fortunately, some good looking women are good people.

 

My last ex is drop dead gorgeous and I remember two guys trying to pick her up right in front of me. Neither guy was more "alpha" than me and it was funny - pathetic even - to watch them try to pick up my girl. I even got into it. "Coaching" the guy ... giving him tips and pointers on how to pick her up. Acting like I was sad and disappointed when he failed miserably. Gave him an encouraging pat on the back and told him that maybe he can do better next time.

 

I wouldn't assume that guys who do this sort of thing are "alpha" or that all women would fall for this "alpha" move.

 

The bottom line is some people are jackasses. Men and women. And sometimes jackasses belong together.

[Tayla]

Alpha male? Hardly.

 

Neanderthal perhaps.

 

the pendulum swings both ways when making poor choices.

[elaine567]

Alpha male? Hardly.

 

Neanderthal perhaps.

 

the pendulum swings both ways when making poor choices.

 

The Neanderthals actually get a bad rep, so even they would not have made such a move...

[Revolver]

There's no such thing as a truly single attractive female. She's either dating a dude, banging a dude, or in a committed relationship with one. So if you want one you're going to have to convince her to stop contacting the guy in her life. Now whether that's "alpha" or not is an opinion but some sort of "snagging" is going to have to occur

[SammySammy]

There's no such thing as a truly single attractive female. She's either dating a dude, banging a dude, or in a committed relationship with one. So if you want one you're going to have to convince her to stop contacting the guy in her life. Now whether that's "alpha" or not is an opinion but some sort of "snagging" is going to have to occur

 

Maybe. Maybe not.

 

The first time I saw the girl I spoke of in my previous post, she was surrounded by three guys trying to pick her up. As she laughed off their attempts, she looked past them and made eye contact with me. From that initial eye contact, I knew we were going to be together.

 

I suppose I could have busted up that group of guys and "snagged" her to prove I was "alpha". But, it wasn't necessary. She had made her choice without me having to prove anything to anyone.

 

There is a difference between being alpha and acting alpha. Many times being rude, disrespectful and acting "tough" just shows insecurity and weakness. The opposite of what guys trying to be "alpha" think they're doing.

[AMJ]

One of my brothers snagged his wife from her boyfriend. They were coworkers and "friends" at first, and I think he eventually just convinced her to dump her boyfriend. I'll never forget the first time he brought her home and introduced her as a friend....we all looked at each other with the "Yeah right" look. They dated for a few years and got married and have been together for ten years now with two little boys.

 

So he didn't walk up and act like a caveman on her, claiming his territory, but he made his move and didn't back down. And he got the girl in the end.