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Snagging someone else's woman - An Alpha move?

LookAtThisPOst

By LookAtThisPOst,
in General Relationship Discussion

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salparadise

salparadise

Posted
Posted
Not just the female perspective. Guys do it, too. In fact, my H had a girlfriend when we met. He monkey-branched to me.

 

Yes I agree. There's just a bit of nuance in how we perceive it; result is the same. I was raised in a small town where such things weren't spoken of. I heard the adage, all is fair in love and war, but didn't really understand it. I was fascinated with Dolly's song from the first time I heard it.

 

Now what I find even more interesting is how some people subscribe to a bro code or sista code wherein such maneuvers are considered treasonous or amoral. This stuff has only been happening for three million years... and 2016 is the year we all are suppose to subscribe to a universal non-compete agreement. Unh huh.

 

My ex-wife monkey branched to me too. I wish I had just banged her and sent her back!

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jen1447

jen1447

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All valid points... But I'm not talking about myself :p I'm talking about the guy with way too much pride and nothing lose. That guy, no matter how small, will do something stupid/crazy. It's no different than gangbangers killing themselves over the smallest things. It's the combination of pride and feeling like you've got nothing to lose that trumps the fear of ounishment. I have a lot to lose and don't have a senseless amount of pride :p

 

Also, street fights are seldomly about fairness and "fighting like men". It's usually just about hurting the other guy as much as possible. I had a childhood friend who had a brother that was a gangbanger (my friend was not the gangbanger type though, he was straight and, last I heard, became a doctor) and he would say that if he had any interest in fighting fairly that he'd step in to a boxing ring.

 

You're taking me way too literally - I wasn't talking about you or crazy guys, I was talking about the original generic hypotheticals I put up for consideration. And of course I didn't mean actual boxing or 'fair' fights lol, just fist fights as opposed to gun or knife or other deadly weapon fights or vehicular homicide. :p

 

We are all in agreement. Just because someone is dating another person does not mean that they don't owe it to themselves to go for the better option if one comes along. The issue here though is about some guy going up to another, looking him in the eye, and telling him that his woman belongs to him now. Like wtf? In reality there is probably more to the story. The person that told the story to the OP probably romanticized it a bit over the years.

 

Oh I have no doubt there's way more to the story, could even be the guy in the car was just an orbiter who the eventual husband chased away.

 

btw we have to accept the implications of preferential dating discretion - if its ok for someone to choose the best option for them, that implies their options are varied and that various ppl are 'applying' on a steady basis, which means other ppl are trying to take GFs and dates away from others. Even tho the original example was more brazen than most are comfortable with, I do think that sort of competition is essentially ok. (Meaning someone w/a BF/GF isn't automatically off limits. The bro/sis code may exist for friends, but not strangers.)

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S_A

S_A

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh I have no doubt there's way more to the story, could even be the guy in the car was just an orbiter who the eventual husband chased away.

 

Yes! Orbiter! I was sort of thinking that in the back of my mind but the word escaped me. []

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Just a Guy

Just a Guy

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It seems the discussion has digressed to two males fighting over a woman they both would like to be with. However, it seems to be overlooked that maybe the woman has a voice in this ongoing tussle between the two males. This is not like twoales fighting it out for supremacy in the wild. This is is human beings interacting with one another. If the woman is prefers her boyfriend over the intruder she will speak her mind and the matter will be resolved without any macho interaction.. Just my opinion.

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serial muse

serial muse

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It seems the discussion has digressed to two males fighting over a woman they both would like to be with. However, it seems to be overlooked that maybe the woman has a voice in this ongoing tussle between the two males. This is not like twoales fighting it out for supremacy in the wild. This is is human beings interacting with one another. If the woman is prefers her boyfriend over the intruder she will speak her mind and the matter will be resolved without any macho interaction.. Just my opinion.

 

Yep. This point (that the woman in the situation is a person and does actually have some agency and isn't just a Macguffin to pass around) has been made a few times in the thread but it keeps getting lost in the shuffle. I suppose it's less of a fun hypothetical than pondering whether one would best use a baseball bat or a car to make a point. ;)

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jen1447

jen1447

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Actually the tangent was addressing the comment Recent Change made way back toward the beginning. It doesn't presume to take the women out of the equation at all, only to focus on the guy in the context of the fault found with him in the comment below.

 

As a female, I just shake my head at this story.

 

I can't imagine!! First, having a BF that was so spineless that he would just say "yeah okay you can have her" and the fact that she could just be "traded" like a commodity.

 

So what was her story? She was cheating on the BF with the Alpha, and just sat there doe eyed during the confrontation or what?

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NTV

NTV

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Yep. This point (that the woman in the situation is a person and does actually have some agency and isn't just a Macguffin to pass around) has been made a few times in the thread but it keeps getting lost in the shuffle. I suppose it's less of a fun hypothetical than pondering whether one would best use a baseball bat or a car to make a point. ;)

 

 

 

Actually, my entire series of responses on the original question took that into account. Guess my input was a babbling brook of random letters. But I suppose it is fun to point out over and over and over and over that the woman gets to decide in these situations, and regardless of the nature of the relationship with either men, both are--in this hypothetical--completely powerless to her decision.

 

 

I bet it would be a much more fun analysis if it were two women fighting over a man.

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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Do we really have to resort to platitudes such as 'women have a choice', in every thread just to be politically correct and keep 'certain people' happy?

 

How dull.

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xxoo

xxoo

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Do we really have to resort to platitudes such as 'women have a choice', in every thread just to be politically correct and keep 'certain people' happy?

 

How dull.

 

Only when women are being discussed as objects to be stolen or snagged.

 

He attracted that woman. That's the bottom line.

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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Only when women are being discussed as objects to be stolen or snagged.

 

He attracted that woman. That's the bottom line.

 

And how did he attract the woman?

 

You saying that the pathetic orbiter giving up had no impact on the woman?

 

It's about action and reaction.

 

We really shouldn't have to resort to platitudes to keep insecure people happy.

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PrettyEmily77

PrettyEmily77

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Do we really have to resort to platitudes such as 'women have a choice', in every thread just to be politically correct and keep 'certain people' happy?

 

How dull.

 

How is 'women have a choice' a politically correct platitude? :confused:

 

[instantly regretting asking, but asking anyway]

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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How is 'women have a choice' a politically correct platitude? :confused:

 

[instantly regretting asking, but asking anyway]

 

Because it's obvious, and goes without saying.

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PrettyEmily77

PrettyEmily77

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Because it's obvious, and goes without saying.

 

Well, considering there still are guys around thinking a woman can be snagged at will, it might not be that obvious to everyone.

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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Well, considering there still are guys around thinking a woman can be snagged at will, it might not be that obvious to everyone.

 

You realize that men initiate, yeah?

 

I seriously wonder if most people are living in La La Land.

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PrettyEmily77

PrettyEmily77

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You realize that men initiate, yeah?

 

I seriously wonder if most people are living in La La Land.

 

I do, yes. I also know that some women (this one included) initiate, and that others give off signals for men to approach.

 

Discerning men don't initiate with any random women without thought or consideration for the women they are approaching.

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xxoo

xxoo

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You realize that men initiate, yeah?

 

I seriously wonder if most people are living in La La Land.

 

It's a dance. The woman has as much role in the interaction as the man.

 

This thread sounds like other men are perceived as competition, or a threat to the relationship. You really don't have to worry about what other guys do or offer if she's into you. But just because you're dating doesn't mean she's that into you. Same deal with men, of course.

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brothers343

brothers343

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I consider myself an alpha male but I would never disrespect anyones lady. It's a rule that I live bye. But I do wonder what would happen to a so called alpha male doing that kind of crap to my wife or girlfriend. It will be an unforgiven sight. To me an alpha male is not about money or status.....to me is about leadership, when things get in a bind he's the one that everyone looks up too, to get them out. He's the leader of the pack......and his wolves are also unforgiven.

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SammySammy

SammySammy

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I don't think "women have a choice" is an accurate description of the sentiment expressed.

 

Some men in the pick up community and sex trade believe - on a fundamental level - what really happens in male/female pairings is that women choose ... men get chosen.

 

Male peacocks display. The females choose the one they want. Some think the same is true for human females. Women subconsciously choose the best genes and characteristics available to them at the moment.

 

The implication for men is that our goal should simply be the very best that we can be in every way. Rather than randomly running around trying to convince individual females to be with you. Or worrying about a certain female getting "snagged" from you. Or beating up some guy to prove how "alpha" you are.

 

If you're an outstanding guy, you're going to be in demand. Regardless of what any individuals do.

 

That's the idea. Not simply "women have a choice".

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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I do, yes. I also know that some women (this one included) initiate.

 

LOL.

 

Don't take the mickey.

 

I have literally never met a woman that takes a guy's number, initiates the texting, takes him out, pays, leads the kissing, leads it to sex.

 

Never.

 

What planet are people on? :confused:

 

I'm clearly talking to aliens lol!

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NTV

NTV

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So I haven't seen anyone openly confirm that the acting of poaching a mate is truly a characteristic reserved for "Alpha" males.

 

 

The consensus seems to be "no".

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jen1447

jen1447

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LOL.

 

Don't take the mickey.

 

I have literally never met a woman that takes a guy's number, initiates the texting, takes him out, pays, leads the kissing, leads it to sex.

 

Never.

 

What planet are people on? :confused:

 

I'm clearly talking to aliens lol!

 

Sometimes I think you don't get around very much J-Bro. :p

 

I know this isn't a bi/lesbian thread but how do you suppose women who date other women manage it?

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Jabron1

Jabron1

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Sometimes I think you don't get around very much J-Bro. :p

 

I know this isn't a bi/lesbian thread but how do you suppose women who date other women manage it?

 

Well, I've never experience that :laugh:

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jen1447

jen1447

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Well, I've never experience that :laugh:

 

But you're aware that lesbian and bisexual women who date each other exist, right?

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