WhatShldIDo Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I have this friend and she has a son and never spends time with him. She is out all hours of the night in search of.. her drug, just put it that way. I was dating her for a while and she left me for her dealer. Shes been using since she was 12 and shes 26 now, so thats a long time. She's homeless, while her son stays at her grandma's, and her mother is taking care of her son. Well, thats when the mother and this girl aren't looking around to get high. She jumps from guy to guy, no stable relationships in her life. Being homeless i think she kinda takes what she can get in the sence of housing, hot shower, love, etc. I asked her if she liked the way she was living, obveously the answer was no. So i offered her a place to stay, food, clothing, and the oppurtunity to get her GED. That's all I asked was she get her GED and sober out a little. Then we could move in her son and try to get her back on the right track. I didn't get an answer from her on that proposition, but instead she dissapeared for the last week. She calls and says she wants to see me at 7 pm, at 2:30 am she calls me to see if she can come over, but I have work in the morning's.. you know? I want to help her really bad, is it hopeless? Can I help her? I know when i went into rehab myself, they said you can only help those who want to be helped. Maybe she doesn't want to be helped? Or is it the 2 warrants she has starts the mind set of, "Why try to quit? It will catch up to me one day." What can I do to help her? I love this girl, and I found out the hard way that if she can't be with her son (and trust me she can see and be with him, she just chooses not too) then can she really be with a guy and truely love him? Or am i beating my head against a wall? Please, anything, any advise, course of action, direction to be pointed, please let me know. I'm lost, confused, heart broken, MIA, and all jumbled up in my head. Link to post Share on other sites
scared shy Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 All you can do is be a friend, which it sounds like you have done. At some point though even you said it yourself "you can't help somebody who won't help themselves" If you do, it's called enabling. My mother is an enabler to my father... it's a sad road to walk on. At some point you will have to implement "tough love" and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
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