I have to ask this - describe flirting?

[redbaron007]

She has a bf...

I'll definitely try keep the conversation flirty.

Ouch! That happens to me a LOT! In fact every single time I go to the gym, I meet at least 2 women whom I've approached in this year and who showed the same signs as the girl you spoke to, then revealed they had BF's when I asked them out. Though I'm not an "orbiter", I do playfully flirt with them when I see them.

 

I don't want to mess this up by being over eager.

Actually you should feel no pressure at all since she already has a BF...unless of course you get a strange feeling that she is into you though she has a BF...which is why I posted my thread on "monkey-swinging", the newest term I learnt on LS yet!

[ZA Dater]

Ouch! That happens to me a LOT! In fact every single time I go to the gym, I meet at least 2 women whom I've approached in this year and who showed the same signs as the girl you spoke to, then revealed they had BF's when I asked them out. Though I'm not an "orbiter", I do playfully flirt with them when I see them.

 

 

Actually you should feel no pressure at all since she already has a BF...unless of course you get a strange feeling that she is into you though she has a BF...which is why I posted my thread on "monkey-swinging", the newest term I learnt on LS yet!

 

I think there is enough shared interest to get something work, I never find anyone who has any shared interest with me so this really is a first and unique opportunity. Not feeling very pressured, just need to be more comfortable with the flirting and casual banter.

 

Apparently I am a nice guy, she told a mutual friend.

[elaine567]

You will find that many attached and married women are outrageous flirts as one, they are used to speaking to men in a flirtatious/sexual manner and two they feel safe doing it, because if the men then get the "wrong" idea and ask them out or get too heavy, they pull out the "I have a bf/husband/partner" card.

Single women, unless very extrovert and out-going, tend to hold back on the obvious/outrageous stuff, especially with guys they are really interested in, in case they get rejected publicly or give out the impression of being "easy".

I think some guys who bemoan the fact that all the girls that show interest in them are married or attached, most likely miss the more subtle stuff being offered by single women.

 

In addition, it is usually very easy to flirt with guys you have no interest in whatsoever, or you know they have no interest in you. It is just fun.

[elaine567]

Well that went really well.

 

Lots of banter between us.

 

Her: Well I have really worked hard on this webpage but the guy doesn't want to give me credit

 

Me: Well I am sure I can sort that out, I can be quite persuasive.

 

Her: smile lots of eye contact.

 

Her: I have been working on my photographic techniques so I can look good at the club event

 

Me: You don't need to work too hard, you always look fantastic.

 

Her: This was so easy and nice (we were taking pictures for a website), I am sure I will see you at the next club event or before then.

 

Everyone knows my story here but I am actually quite happy with myself, I wasn't shy, I wasn't awkward, there was lots of eye contact and she seemed really at ease around me as I was around her.

 

How I interpret the above I don't really know but I can say this we communicate almost everyday, there is a lot of overlap in the things we do and maybe I managed to flirt....just maybe.

 

Please tell me this isn't K?

[ZA Dater]

Please tell me this isn't K?

 

 

 

Perhaps if there is one over riding aspect of me, its my inability to give up. That's all I am saying.

[ZA Dater]

You will find that many attached and married women are outrageous flirts as one, they are used to speaking to men in a flirtatious/sexual manner and two they feel safe doing it, because if the men then get the "wrong" idea and ask them out or get too heavy, they pull out the "I have a bf/husband/partner" card.

Single women, unless very extrovert and out-going, tend to hold back on the obvious/outrageous stuff, especially with guys they are really interested in, in case they get rejected publicly or give out the impression of being "easy".

I think some guys who bemoan the fact that all the girls that show interest in them are married or attached, most likely miss the more subtle stuff being offered by single women.

 

In addition, it is usually very easy to flirt with guys you have no interest in whatsoever, or you know they have no interest in you. It is just fun.

 

Whichever it is I am not going to over analyse, just enjoy it when it happens and try to flirt back and see what happens, if nothing that's ok I am still having fun, if something well that's great. I am fairly resigned myself to certain things in life, I'll take what's on offer here gladly even if its just friendly banter.

 

 

One thing I learnt, you cant analyse each and every thing people do, its exhausting and for the most part fruitless. You can look at signs but as with everything they are all subjective.

 

 

Suffice to say what's being offered at the moment is enough to make me happy and actually feel like I am moving forward at this, even if most people here probably think I am wasting my time, I'd rather waste my time this way then spending it trawling through profile after profile on dating sites and just leaving despondent due to the absolute lack of anyone attractive at all.

 

 

I have always just wanted some female attention and I am getting a little bit now so its not all bad and besides I get to practice flirty type banter so that must be a good thing, even if I know that blond chatting to her friends at the coffee shop isn't going to interest me or me interest her.

[MGX]

Good. ANYTHING that makes you more comfortable around women.

[scorpiogirl]

Good. ANYTHING that makes you more comfortable around women.

 

He's not trying to get more comfortable around women. He's trying to take the woman, that he's convinced himself he is in love with but who has made it clear she's not interested, away from her boyfriend.

 

This is not an attractive quality.

[redbaron007]

He's not trying to get more comfortable around women. He's trying to take the woman, that he's convinced himself he is in love with but who has made it clear she's not interested, away from her boyfriend.

 

This is not an attractive quality.

 

In OP's defense nowhere has he claimed that he's "in love" with the woman in question...moreover, the woman has not made it clear she's "not interested". Whether she is interested or not will only be clear when he asks her out...that is, if he intends to do so.

[scorpiogirl]

In OP's defense nowhere has he claimed that he's "in love" with the woman in question...moreover, the woman has not made it clear she's "not interested". Whether she is interested or not will only be clear when he asks her out...that is, if he intends to do so.

 

Please tell me this isn't K?

 

Have him clarify who "K" is.

[ZA Dater]

He's not trying to get more comfortable around women. He's trying to take the woman, that he's convinced himself he is in love with but who has made it clear she's not interested, away from her boyfriend.

 

This is not an attractive quality.

 

Is there any real reason a guy cant be friends with a someone who has a bf? Or is that also an unattractive quality?

[elaine567]

In OP's defense nowhere has he claimed that he's "in love" with the woman in question...moreover, the woman has not made it clear she's "not interested". Whether she is interested or not will only be clear when he asks her out...that is, if he intends to do so.

 

ZA Dater has been in love with K for a long time, but despite them being close work wise, she doesn't return his interest. She now has a bf.

She is on a pedestal.

He has a bad case of oneitis and it interferes with his prospects of ever finding a woman.

No-one compares to K, no-one comes close...

Edited June 11, 2016 by elaine567
typo

[ZA Dater]

ZA Dater has been in love with K for a long time, but despite them being close work wise, she doesn't return his interest. She now has a bf.

She is on a pedestal.

He has a bad case of oneitis and it interferes with his prospects of ever finding a woman.

No-one compares to K, no-one comes close...

 

I have no prospects that's been re hashed millions of times here. Accepted and respected.

[normal person]

To address the original post, flirting is basically the process of intentionally creating sexual tension.

 

She has a bf...

 

I'll definitely try keep the conversation flirty. I don't want to mess this up by being over eager.

 

I'm a bit confused. If she has a bf, what's there to mess up, exactly?

[MGX]

ZA Dater has been in love with K for a long time, but despite them being close work wise, she doesn't return his interest. She now has a bf.

She is on a pedestal.

He has a bad case of oneitis and it interferes with his prospects of ever finding a woman.

No-one compares to K, no-one comes close...

 

I have no prospects that's been re hashed millions of times here. Accepted and respected.

 

She's saying that since this "K" is so highly regarded, you're going to compare everyone else that you're going to meet to "K".

 

Now I'm curious...what does "K" do or what qualities does "K" have that other chicks don't? She knows what the Kessel Run is or something?

[MGX]

To address the original post, flirting is basically the process of intentionally creating sexual tension.

 

I think the OP wants to know the difference between flirting and if someone is simply being pleasant. A friendly girl who is playing with her hair can EASILY be misread as flirting, unless it's something crazy obvious like a footsie under the table. A chick who touches you on the arm could simply be friendly or supportive.

 

It's crazy...some people are totally oblivious to these things. Others latch onto ANY attention given by the opposite sex as a sign that they could like them. And then there are the normal people who are inbetween...