Friend-zoned for the first time, I feel improvement is needed but not sure where!

[4x4storm]

So i'm 19 and have been online dating for the past 5 month's. Out of it I got 5 dates a one night stand and a 4 month relationship. I'm at the point now I have burned through all the girls my age on multiple websites and restarted my tinder 3 times. But recently something happened and i'm feeling I have a major flaw somewhere.

 

It was the perfect date like out of a movie she said it was the best date she has ever been on and was excited to see me again.The 2nd date was terrible she was snappy and rude the whole time and when I went for the kiss all I got was cheek. She later sent me a txt saying we should be friends.

 

Now I know for a fact i'm not the best looking guy ever but I put more effort into my image then any other guy. I go to the gym 5 days a week I buy expensive cloths to look good I do my hair and put on cologne each time I go out.

 

So I feel my image is not the issue but my conversational skills is the problem. My friends tell me i'm really confident which I am! and I can talk to girls fine but i'm now thinking I bore them to death.

 

I ask them questions and discuss their hobbies but I'm just confused.

[NTV]

lol, dude if a chick was good looking, fit, dressed well but didn't have anything intelligent to say, what category would you place her in?

 

 

My vote is that you find a hobby that you love, something artistic in a way, painting, writing, musical instrument, volunteer, something, and focus your energies on that. Something that when you find a girl with a similar interest you have that in common. And stop focusing on your appearance so much. Appearance is only the invitation to the party. If you're going to go to that gala, you still have to be able to dance, to socialize, conversate, to eat without being a slob, etc.

 

 

As far as dealing with that one chick, just say 'naw, I got enough friends.' and ignore her until/if she changes her tone.

 

 

At 19 your world is just on the cusp of truly opening up and you'll find that there is much, much more to it than you thought. The intricacies of dating are really only a small part of a much larger picture.

 

 

It's weird, but the more you focus on finding someone the more elusive that person is to find. Just do you and don't worry about it for a while.

[4x4storm]

lol, dude if a chick was good looking, fit, dressed well but didn't have anything intelligent to say, what category would you place her in?

 

 

My vote is that you find a hobby that you love, something artistic in a way, painting, writing, musical instrument, volunteer, something, and focus your energies on that. Something that when you find a girl with a similar interest you have that in common. And stop focusing on your appearance so much. Appearance is only the invitation to the party. If you're going to go to that gala, you still have to be able to dance, to socialize, conversate, to eat without being a slob, etc.

 

 

As far as dealing with that one chick, just say 'naw, I got enough friends.' and ignore her until/if she changes her tone.

 

 

At 19 your world is just on the cusp of truly opening up and you'll find that there is much, much more to it than you thought. The intricacies of dating are really only a small part of a much larger picture.

 

 

It's weird, but the more you focus on finding someone the more elusive that person is to find. Just do you and don't worry about it for a while.

 

Hmm thx for the reply but your talking to one of the biggest advocates of hobbies xD. I was the one actually taking her through different stores trying to start conversations to see what she was into. But she kept walking away on her phone.

 

I think the more and more I look at it the problem doesn't lie with me I've spent the last 4 years improving myself.

[d0nnivain]

You are 19. Get off your computer. Go out into the world. Smile at a hot girl, or 47 of them. Get some numbers. Flirt your tail off. Have fun.

 

 

Stop overthinking this but for heaven's sake stop hiding behind your phone or your I-pad & actually embrace life.

[basil67]

In five months, you've had a 4 month relationship, a handful of dates and a ONS. Sounds like you're doing great to me.

 

The fact that one girl friendzoned you doesn't mean that you're doing bad. This is all in the realms of 'normal'. Almost all of us strike out now and then with someone we're interested in.

 

My only advice is to not try and kiss a girl who's being a horrible date. Besides the fact her mood shows she probably doesn't want to be kissed, why would you back up on someone who is rude to you? Just end the date quickly and don't call her again.

[4x4storm]

In five months, you've had a 4 month relationship, a handful of dates and a ONS. Sounds like you're doing great to me.

 

The fact that one girl friendzoned you doesn't mean that you're doing bad. This is all in the realms of 'normal'. Almost all of us strike out now and then with someone we're interested in.

 

My only advice is to not try and kiss a girl who's being a horrible date. Besides the fact her mood shows she probably doesn't want to be kissed, why would you back up on someone who is rude to you? Just end the date quickly and don't call her again.

 

Thx for the great advice this is useful information. I look back now and knowing the date was going horrible trying to kiss her was a mistake. At least it's something I know for next time.