GorillaTheater Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy. It may well be a function of age. I seem to be hitting a point where the primary competition seems to be how successful the kids are. I'm just happy mine have stayed out of jail. More than I can say, you know, personally. And insecurities seem to revolve around real or perceived physical decline. It's always some damn thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy. This is a false assumption. Some men who have women or money try to use these things as an argument to prove they are more valuable than others. Women do it too, using fashion as an example. The truth is some people have always tried to belittle others for their own ego. Exclusive clubs for example. Race in America in the 1800s. Citizenship in Europe in the 1700s. Land ownership in ancient Rome. It's basis is only valid if everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees with the women/money, thing, but it won't stop people from trying. I personally think that women who love, fall in love with me, or love/fall in love the idea of me are superior to other women and should be rewarded for such. That's why I have granted them the authority to construct a 4 ft by 4 ft shrine to me in their bedrooms, provided it doesn't impact any other part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 It may well be a function of age. I seem to be hitting a point where the primary competition seems to be how successful the kids are. I'm just happy mine have stayed out of jail. More than I can say, you know, personally. : Yep, my daughter make me question it all. I feel extremely confident until my youngest calls me and says she wants to change her major for the tenth time, wants some tattoo of a Marxist or to pierce her eyeballs, has relationship issues with her gf that really makes her seem like a creepy stalker, or wants to get involved in some nutty movement for squirrels rights to wear wigs or some crap like that....then I'm all like....I failed at life.... G 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Porter56 Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Insecurities???? Wow here goes... I'm not muscular enough. I'm not good looking. I don't have a nice house. I don't dress well enough. I don't make enough money. I'm not "ALPHA " enough. I'm not interesting. My sense of humor is stupid. I'm not smart. My car is awful. My voice sounds stupid. I look terrible naked. My interests/hobbies are boring to others. I haven't been laid in over 6 years. I don't know how to fix anything like a real man should be able to. I usually don't have a clue what I'm talking about or what I'm doing in life lol. I'm getting too old to date. My bosses think I'm terrible at my job. Is that enough? I got more lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Insecurities???? Wow here goes... I'm not muscular enough. I'm not good looking. I don't have a nice house. I don't dress well enough. I don't make enough money. I'm not "ALPHA " enough. I'm not interesting. My sense of humor is stupid. I'm not smart. My car is awful. My voice sounds stupid. I look terrible naked. My interests/hobbies are boring to others. I haven't been laid in over 6 years. I don't know how to fix anything like a real man should be able to. I usually don't have a clue what I'm talking about or what I'm doing in life lol. I'm getting too old to date. My bosses think I'm terrible at my job. Is that enough? I got more lol (I think we have a ^^Winner^^....) Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 If I had known there was a trophy I would have tried harder.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 I don't have many, if any, insecurities concerning my personal appearance or financial status. Even my age, 55, doesn't bother me much. Well, actually lately my nearly solid silver white hair has me feeling a bit like Gandalf but...otherwise nothing. My insecurities come about when I am in a relationship. Usually over communication issues. Many women (and people in general) talk a good game about wanting communication, but few seldom really mean it. It causes me to always question how open I can be with someone. Do they really want open communication, or only communication they want to hear? Because of this I'm not always comfortable broaching how I'm feeling; even if asked. Too often when I have, even in a respectful manner, it's met with silence or some type of passive-aggressive retaliation. Additionally, because of my last couple of relationships, I'm always wondering why it is that I am more invested than they? What is it about me (and I am the common denominator) that makes women not fully able to let me in? Is it me, or am I just a lousy picker.. This bugs me more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 I don't have many, if any, insecurities concerning my personal appearance or financial status. Even my age, 55, doesn't bother me much. Well, actually lately my nearly solid silver white hair has me feeling a bit like Gandalf but...otherwise nothing. You know I have to ask... Gandalf the Grey or Gandalf the White? G Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 You know I have to ask... Gandalf the Grey or Gandalf the White? G More like Gandalf the white lately....hair and goatee aren't nearly as long however. Boss would look down on that... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinkerbell16 Posted May 26, 2016 Author Share Posted May 26, 2016 Insecurities???? Wow here goes... I'm not muscular enough. I'm not good looking. I don't have a nice house. I don't dress well enough. I don't make enough money. I'm not "ALPHA " enough. I'm not interesting. My sense of humor is stupid. I'm not smart. My car is awful. My voice sounds stupid. I look terrible naked. My interests/hobbies are boring to others. I haven't been laid in over 6 years. I don't know how to fix anything like a real man should be able to. I usually don't have a clue what I'm talking about or what I'm doing in life lol. I'm getting too old to date. My bosses think I'm terrible at my job. Is that enough? I got more lol Well your honesty and self awareness makes you beautiful IMO! And I bet you have a list of awesome qualities too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinkerbell16 Posted May 26, 2016 Author Share Posted May 26, 2016 My theory has been for quite a while that men compete with each other based on success with women and finances. This is how they structure their hierarchy. Would that be the basis of your post? What do you define as "success with women"? Number? Quality? Longevity of relationship? Her attractiveness? Just curious Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 This is a false assumption. Some men who have women or money try to use these things as an argument to prove they are more valuable than others. Women do it too, using fashion as an example. The truth is some people have always tried to belittle others for their own ego. Exclusive clubs for example. Race in America in the 1800s. Citizenship in Europe in the 1700s. Land ownership in ancient Rome. It's basis is only valid if everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees with the women/money, thing, but it won't stop people from trying. Well there is such a thing as hierarchy in society so it needs to be based on something. For women it's not fashion, it's the status of the male(s) they attract. Financial or otherwise, that's why affluent men have a higher chance of doing well with women, not only because they can potentially make child raising easier but also because the women can prove to others that they are able to attract and keep sought-after males. As for men: you can see when men post here who have girlfriends that have had more sexual partners than them, they are insecure that their women have been more sexually successful. Or older virgin males posting not just about not being able to have sex/female company but about being looked down on by other men. The financial competition amongst men is undeniable too, I think. Not so much about belittling, more about getting to a higher spot in the pecking order. In the old days it used to be muscle, today it's money and women. Some say this is why some men detest female competition in the work place: women used to be the bottom of the pile, today there is no such assurance, many women do better than a lot of guys in the hierarchy in terms of success. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 What do you define as "success with women"? Number? Quality? Longevity of relationship? Her attractiveness? Just curious The number of attractive women. Link to post Share on other sites
gimlynick Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Insecurities: - Why can't I get the hottest girl of the room? - Why do only 'ugly' girls really show obvious interest - How do I aproach wisely - Am I boring after a while? - Am I worth dating? - Can I give a girl what she deserves? ( my job has horrible working hours ) - Am I smart enough for this girl - Are my teeth okay ( there is one taken away in the back and I dislike this ) - Am I confident enough to aproach this girl? - What are we going to talk about? - Do I have similar interest with te girl I'm dating? - Will this girl hurt me? A lot of insecurities come of a recent break up. I know that all of those are bull****. But well, these are some that I sometimes think about. It's most of the time about flirting or keeping a relation. I've also noticed that girls are VERY superficial about men. Looks are so much more important then what most people say. Since 2 months I'm working out A LOT, and all of a sudden hot girls start to aproach me again... Ridiculous. My personality didn't change... Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 First you say... Insecurities: - Why do only 'ugly' girls really show obvious interest Then you say... I've also noticed that girls are VERY superficial about men. Notice any irony here? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Well there is such a thing as hierarchy in society so it needs to be based on something. For women it's not fashion, it's the status of the male(s) they attract. Financial or otherwise, that's why affluent men have a higher chance of doing well with women, not only because they can potentially make child raising easier but also because the women can prove to others that they are able to attract and keep sought-after males. As for men: you can see when men post here who have girlfriends that have had more sexual partners than them, they are insecure that their women have been more sexually successful. Or older virgin males posting not just about not being able to have sex/female company but about being looked down on by other men. The financial competition amongst men is undeniable too, I think. Not so much about belittling, more about getting to a higher spot in the pecking order. In the old days it used to be muscle, today it's money and women. Some say this is why some men detest female competition in the work place: women used to be the bottom of the pile, today there is no such assurance, many women do better than a lot of guys in the hierarchy in terms of success. I didn't argue that it wasn't ONE (two?) measures of success for men. Others could be achievement (Nobel Piece prize); political power; religious devotion; accomplishment (became an astronaut/climbing mount Everest); some guys still adhere to the muscle thing; some it's support of others (volunteer work); and each man is an individual like women are... what motivates one man isn't necessarily what motivates all of us. For me personally, one of the sayings from one of my favorite books is 'It's the journey not the destination.' Link to post Share on other sites
Porter56 Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 No... I can't think of any good qualities actually. I'm a hunchback living under a bridge lol Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Just curious to hear from guys... what are some of your insecurities that you have recognized experiencing in your past and or current relationships and where do you think they come from? My biggest insecurity is not having faith that most people have the life skills to enter into and sustain a meaningful, live-giving, loving long-term, relationship. I am quite evolved and insightful for a man in his early thirties, and I typically find that my generation by large lacks the life skills required for a relationship...even though they truly desire a relationship. That's the sad part. I believe this has come from a variety of origins - a combination of my upbringing/family betrayals, trying to exist at odds with our hyperactive and reflective adverse culture, and a lot of dating/relationship experiences that went sour. I have met some wonderful women who I'll always remember, and it is the memories of them that keep me trying. Unfortunately, I've accumulated a lot of negative experiences and have become more bitter than I would have imagined. I'm insecure about this part of myself and am constantly trying to work on it. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 If I knew why the majority of women rejected me i'd probably have a whole lot of insecurities to list here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinkerbell16 Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 The number of attractive women. Looks can't possibly be the single solitary valuation system guys use for women? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinkerbell16 Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 sexual endurance – compared to other dudes, why men cheat, think they need practice body image – ask themselves is the low testosterone belly a turnoff limited sexual experience – compared to other dudes (why men cheat so much) financial prowess – compared to other dudes – more and more uneducated broke dudes out there than ever before, lots more financially successful women out there. junk size – compared to other dudes Guys cheat to gain sexual experience/expertise. Intriguing. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Not tall enough (I'm 5'7) Not interesting enough. (I seem to only have typical guy hobbies. My job is also considered boring my most people lol.) Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Guys cheat to gain sexual experience/expertise. Intriguing. I said… limited sexual experience – compared to other dudes (why men cheat so much) Lets say you have this fat dude in a marriage and think he is not getting enough sex, he thinks he is missing something and need to be told he is still a stud. Every other dude on the planet is getting all this sex and he is not. His “perception” is he is not getting laid enough. This is why dudes end up screwing women who are usually uglier or below the woman they are with they just want to know they have the ability to get a piece of @$$ regardless of the quality. But let me clarify… women are doing this more and more now as well for same reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Looks can't possibly be the single solitary valuation system guys use for women? Never say never.... I dropped in here expecting to be educated but just found a list of the same old alpha male bs that gets recycled in nearly every thread on LS. I need $$, hot women, sex & power to feel like a successful man. Jesus I must admit to being totally blown away by the sad state of the male psyche as expressed here... Not sure what I was expecting but the odd post admitting to a fear of kittens or bunnies would have been a nice surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Not sure what I was expecting but the odd post admitting to a fear of kittens or bunnies would have been a nice surprise. Snakes. Definitely snakes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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