**Update to "Another Wayward Wife

[qubist]

I forgot to add that last night, she made it a point to tell me that she was going to wear her wedding rings today.

 

Did she end it with OM?

[calbguy]

As far as I can tell, she did not end it with the OM. It's just that she is acting very strange.

[Mr. Lucky]

I forgot to add that last night, she made it a point to tell me that she was going to wear her wedding rings today.

 

Most people, when in engaged in covert and destructive activity, feel more comfortable wearing a disguise...

 

Mr. Lucky

[TX-SC]

You know those scary movies where the bad guy with the knife is hiding in a closet and the innocent homeowner is reaching out to open the door to that closet? You want to scream out at the screen "Don't do it!!!".

 

I'm watching your train wreck on my computer screen yelling "Don't do it!!!" Your ex is the bad guy in the closet and you are reaching for the handle.

 

DON'T DO IT!!!

[qubist]

As far as I can tell, she did not end it with the OM. It's just that she is acting very strange.

Calbguy: she either trying to make sure you are still on the shelve waiting by giving sex and wearing her ring or OM dumped her which make her behavior not as strange as you see it. If this M has any chance to survive this she will have to stop the A completely and commit to you then see if it would work. again if she is back just he Dumped her and there on the shelve waiting it would be hard almost impossible. do her a favor and tell her she either stop or set her free and D her.

[latinmex]

I forgot to add that last night, she made it a point to tell me that she was going to wear her wedding rings today.

 

And now you are happy and you are going to forget everything she did just because is usung the ring

Why you want to stay with somebody who doesn`t respect you, She is right now with you because the OM is with his wife, but just wait that he call her again and she is going to run with him.

But dont worry SHE is using the wedding ring so you can be HAPPY

Edited August 24, 2015 by latinmex

[turnera]

As far as I can tell, she did not end it with the OM. It's just that she is acting very strange.

Then you should have responded "those rings mean nothing to me any more, since you have ruined what they stood for."

[calbguy]

At this time, I am kind of numb to her. I don't feel excitement being near her anymore. I know that she would rather be with him and in a way it is kind of sad, almost pathetic seeing her like this. She told me that she would never let herself get hung up on a man and she has. Last night, she was asking me about my day and seemed really interested. We went for a walk and ending up talking about my day for about an hour. I don't know what she is doing, but I don't really care.

 

 

As for me, I wish I never had to see her again, but we have 3 kids together. I'm at the point now where I don't feel like seeing her or any other woman.

[Spectre]

This is simple: your wife is skanky and doesn't love you. Time for a divorce, she can go be skanky with her married cop. Also what a wonderful role model she is for your children.

[aliveagain]

At this time, I am kind of numb to her. I don't feel excitement being near her anymore. I know that she would rather be with him and in a way it is kind of sad, almost pathetic seeing her like this. She told me that she would never let herself get hung up on a man and she has. Last night, she was asking me about my day and seemed really interested. We went for a walk and ending up talking about my day for about an hour. I don't know what she is doing, but I don't really care.

 

 

As for me, I wish I never had to see her again, but we have 3 kids together. I'm at the point now where I don't feel like seeing her or any other woman.

 

This woman has been banging a married man for at least the last 2 years while married to you. Probably in your house while you worked. Is this something you can accept or will she always feel like his leftovers to you? Give her back your ring, what it represents no longer exists. I always recommend new rings and vows if your going to reconcile.

[m.snow]

get her to counseling. by counseling i don't mean marriage counseling to save the marriage but individual counseling to help her find her way.

 

i know its not your problem its hers.

 

but she is the mother of your children, a person they look up to.

 

its great somehow you detached with her. but your children still need there mother.

 

i don't know how much pain and shame she has caused you. but for the sake of the children have her go to counseling.

 

been through different forums and a lost aimless wayward wives like her usually end up with drugs or in a very bad place even get raped.

so if you have it in you. get her some help.

(she is in very vulnerable position and a lot of people will take advantage of her.)

 

remember that the next guy he might end up with could be a step father to your children.

Edited August 25, 2015 by m.snow

[qubist]

At this time, I am kind of numb to her. I don't feel excitement being near her anymore. I know that she would rather be with him and in a way it is kind of sad, almost pathetic seeing her like this. She told me that she would never let herself get hung up on a man and she has. Last night, she was asking me about my day and seemed really interested. We went for a walk and ending up talking about my day for about an hour. I don't know what she is doing, but I don't really care.

 

 

As for me, I wish I never had to see her again, but we have 3 kids together. I'm at the point now where I don't feel like seeing her or any other woman.

come on do let it this beat you, you gotta hold on for yourself and your kids. her behavior is not strange at all and we've seen it here many times. she is in the fog living the fantasy of the A but she does enough to keep you on the shelve. whatever you plan to do, seek the best for yourself. she needs a slap on her face by letting her know that you are not waiting for her any more. she doesn't realize that yet that's way she shows some interest. I agree with M Snow she desperately needs proportional help but she most likely won't do it unless faced by the harsh reality.

don't just be passive and burn yourself out.you gotta stop this trust she needs it too otherwise it will just drag forever or until OM had enough of her. tell her that you are filing for D and can't stay like this, that would wake her up.

[Spectre]

I just love this cheating woman had the audacity to call him to tell him she is wearing their wedding rings even though she obliterated everything they stood for! Either your wife is utterly insane or she works for candid camera and you were being secretly videotaped to see how you'd react. You should of responded with "were you wearing the ring when you had sex with that cop?".

Edited August 26, 2015 by Spectre

[calbguy]

Spectre,

 

 

I am voting utterly insane! She says that she is ok with a divorce, but I don't think that she really comprehends what will happens. She thinks that she will get the house free and clear and we just basically go our separate ways like if we were dating. Also, I have a few reasons why I want to wait.

 

 

It's weird; now that she is being more friendly and "loving" towards me, I am feeling more apprehensive about seeing her and even touching her. When I look at her, I kind of feel pity.

[calbguy]

Hi everyone. It's been a while since I started my thread "Another Wayward Wife. I thought I would give an update, sorry it is so long. So, since August:

 

- In Late October, “someone” created a fake gmail account and sent OM’s wife a nice little note detailing everything that her husband has been doing.

- OM and WS can't figure out who sent it. She asked me and I denied it.

- My WS then created a fake yahoo and LinkedIn account to mimic the sender that originally informed OM’s wife.

- My WS, under the false name, sent more incriminating stuff to his wife, as well as “WS” phone number so that the OM’s wife would call and confront WS.

- Stuff hit the fan for him; his wife left and took their baby to another state.

 

This is what my WS was wanting; for his wife to leave him so that he could be a single man. My WS didn’t realize that OM never really wanted her for a relationship.

 

- Apparently, the OM broke down and was begging his wife not to leave him. Wife returned to the state and moved out anyway and I think gives him their baby for weekend visits.

- My WS and OM’s affair went under ground until they had a “talk” in December. It seems OM said something like, “I need time to work things out”.

- They went NC until February when my WS texted him. They hooked up a couple of days later.

- Apparently, he no longer tells my WS “I love you” and he asked her not to say it to him. I guess true love never has to be expressed.

- They hooked up again in March. From then on, they would call each other at night and talk for about 30 – 45 mins. No more “I love you” from him.

- OM tells WS in March that his wife filed for divorce. (I'm sure he lied to her. I've searched the county's court and could not find any records. Yes, they are available.)

 

- My WS took my kids on a vacation at end of March. OM was trying to plan something with my WS during the same time. He missed out.

- When WS got back, her and OM hooked up and also tried to plan a Sunday hookup. He stood her up. Lol.

- WS was not happy and told him so. He said that he was in a “weird mood” and that why he didn’t call her or anything.

- The next day, he emails her: "It’s just extremely frustrating that when I need you, you can be here”.

 

- Later that week, the OM’s wife starts getting harassing text’s from a stranger. This goes on for days. I see that it is my WS, using an app that hides her phone number.

- OM's wife gets a text from the "app tech support" that points directly to my WS as the person that is sending the texts. Lol

- OM calls my WS and says his wife is going to her lawyer and using those texts as ammo to get a restraining order to get full custody of their kid. OM not happy.

- Contact between OM and my WS drops off considerably.

- They have a hook up the May 4.

- WS emails him twice on the 5th. No response; no emails, calls or texts.

 

- WS goes on a trip with her mother, returns on the 8th. WS emails OM on the 9th. No response, nothing from him.

- My WS gets really sick and spends the 11th – 15th in the hospital. She never gets sick; this is serious.

 

- WS emails OM EARLY on the 12th, to say she is in hospital.

- He calls on the 13th and they talk for 15 mins.

- He calls again on the 14th and they talk for 20mins.

- WS get out of hospital on the 15th. I pick her up and take her home.

- OM never visits her, sends her flowers or anything. Again, true love?

- I spent all night with WS in the ER on the 11th and would spend hours visiting her each day. I am also taking care of the kids.

 

- WS emails him on the 16 to say she’s out of the hospital. No response from him, no calls, emails or texts.

- WS emails him again on the 20th. Still nothing from him!

- Previously, they would text each other roughly 2,000 - 3,000 times each month, and meet up at least twice a week. Now, no contact from him in 12 days.

 

Interesting things to note:

- While she was in the hospital, WS introduces me as her husband to everyone. She has very rarely called me her husband in 15 years.

- She introduced me to her co-workers last Friday. This, after her working there for 2 years.

- During the month of May, I have seen her or slept in the same bed with her all but 2 or 3 days.

- She thanked me for taking care of her and said it was nice that she can depend on me.

- The past week, she has seemed “down”, kind of sad. I think she misses him. LOL.

 

So that's what been going on with me!

[harrybrown]

Have you been tested for stds?

 

Why have you not filed for D from your selfish WS?

 

How would she handle it if you had an A?

 

She does not respect you, you are her backup plan.

 

Find someone with some morals that cares for you and does not give you leftovers.

 

Call your attorney today.

[RecentChange]

I have to admit, I haven't read any of your other threads.

 

But WHY?! Why in the world are you in this relationship? You monitor your cheating wife's correspondence and what - just allow it? Do you have an open marriage?

 

Look hey - I am a "WS" and I went 100% absolute no contact come D day. Because I wanted to stay with my spouse and work things out. I couldn't imagine disrespecting him enough to keep pursuing things right in his face.

 

So..... what is your game plan here? Just hope that some day the OM will dump your wife for good, and then she will be yours until the next shiny new toy comes along?

 

I find your post very confusing.

[Clay]

So are you staying because you are ok with her having a affair? Your find just sharing her? Maybe you should just entertain a open relationship so you both can have fun? I am personally not into cuckold but clearly there are people out there that like it.

 

If your here saying you want her to stop and yet your allowing her to continue on then you need more help than anyone on this website can offer. You need a counselor. Someone who has serious experience in people that allow themselves to be abused like this.

 

C

[Marc878]

Read "No More Mr Nice Guy" free download.

 

You're plan B. She's just feeding you breadcrumbs.

[Bufo]

Is this the sort of result you have been looking for? Your post doesn't mention anything resembling remorse from WW. Is there more to this than whT you've posted?

 

I am not going to lecture about Plan B. You can figure that out all for yourself.

 

And maybe you should be considering what the outcome would have been had OM not run away so fast. You told us in your post what WW wanted. That didn't happen and she seems to be accepting that.

 

I hope this all works out well for you.

[Mr. Lucky]

I hope this all works out well for you.

 

Calbguy, maybe you could be more specific about the outcome you're looking for. Reconciliation? House detective? Open marriage?

 

You seem happy with the time your WS spends in and out of bed with you but undisturbed about her entertaining her OM in the same way. You also seem to get some satisfaction in the fake emails/texts/profiles, actions that to an outsider would provide little comfort.

 

What is the end game?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Liam1]

Hi everyone. It's been a while since I started my thread "Another Wayward Wife. I thought I would give an update, sorry it is so long. So, since August:

 

- In Late October, “someone” created a fake gmail account and sent OM’s wife a nice little note detailing everything that her husband has been doing.

- OM and WS can't figure out who sent it. She asked me and I denied it.

- My WS then created a fake yahoo and LinkedIn account to mimic the sender that originally informed OM’s wife.

- My WS, under the false name, sent more incriminating stuff to his wife, as well as “WS” phone number so that the OM’s wife would call and confront WS.

- Stuff hit the fan for him; his wife left and took their baby to another state.

 

This is what my WS was wanting; for his wife to leave him so that he could be a single man. My WS didn’t realize that OM never really wanted her for a relationship.

 

- Apparently, the OM broke down and was begging his wife not to leave him. Wife returned to the state and moved out anyway and I think gives him their baby for weekend visits.

- My WS and OM’s affair went under ground until they had a “talk” in December. It seems OM said something like, “I need time to work things out”.

- They went NC until February when my WS texted him. They hooked up a couple of days later.

- Apparently, he no longer tells my WS “I love you” and he asked her not to say it to him. I guess true love never has to be expressed.

- They hooked up again in March. From then on, they would call each other at night and talk for about 30 – 45 mins. No more “I love you” from him.

- OM tells WS in March that his wife filed for divorce. (I'm sure he lied to her. I've searched the county's court and could not find any records. Yes, they are available.)

 

- My WS took my kids on a vacation at end of March. OM was trying to plan something with my WS during the same time. He missed out.

- When WS got back, her and OM hooked up and also tried to plan a Sunday hookup. He stood her up. Lol.

- WS was not happy and told him so. He said that he was in a “weird mood” and that why he didn’t call her or anything.

- The next day, he emails her: "It’s just extremely frustrating that when I need you, you can be here”.

 

- Later that week, the OM’s wife starts getting harassing text’s from a stranger. This goes on for days. I see that it is my WS, using an app that hides her phone number.

- OM's wife gets a text from the "app tech support" that points directly to my WS as the person that is sending the texts. Lol

- OM calls my WS and says his wife is going to her lawyer and using those texts as ammo to get a restraining order to get full custody of their kid. OM not happy.

- Contact between OM and my WS drops off considerably.

- They have a hook up the May 4.

- WS emails him twice on the 5th. No response; no emails, calls or texts.

 

- WS goes on a trip with her mother, returns on the 8th. WS emails OM on the 9th. No response, nothing from him.

- My WS gets really sick and spends the 11th – 15th in the hospital. She never gets sick; this is serious.

 

- WS emails OM EARLY on the 12th, to say she is in hospital.

- He calls on the 13th and they talk for 15 mins.

- He calls again on the 14th and they talk for 20mins.

- WS get out of hospital on the 15th. I pick her up and take her home.

- OM never visits her, sends her flowers or anything. Again, true love?

- I spent all night with WS in the ER on the 11th and would spend hours visiting her each day. I am also taking care of the kids.

 

- WS emails him on the 16 to say she’s out of the hospital. No response from him, no calls, emails or texts.

- WS emails him again on the 20th. Still nothing from him!

- Previously, they would text each other roughly 2,000 - 3,000 times each month, and meet up at least twice a week. Now, no contact from him in 12 days.

 

Interesting things to note:

- While she was in the hospital, WS introduces me as her husband to everyone. She has very rarely called me her husband in 15 years.

- She introduced me to her co-workers last Friday. This, after her working there for 2 years.

- During the month of May, I have seen her or slept in the same bed with her all but 2 or 3 days.

- She thanked me for taking care of her and said it was nice that she can depend on me.

- The past week, she has seemed “down”, kind of sad. I think she misses him. LOL.

 

So that's what been going on with me!

 

I am sorry you are going through such a rough time.

 

Perhaps her sadness is because she realizes that you are the one who truly loves/loved her and you show it by being there for her.

 

Obviously you still love her.

 

What do you want to do? Do you think you can get past this, if she dumps the OM for good?

 

Do you want to work on things or do you want to bail?

[aliveagain]

I think there are a couple of crumbs she left you still under the table. What a waste of a year. You should have been moving on but instead you grovel for anything that falls off her plate. This is the prize that you've been holding out for all this time, some other guy's leftovers? I am so angry for you and angry about what your teaching your children.

[lemondrop21]

Why has she very rarely called you her husband in 15 years?

 

It almost sounds like you are so detached from her that monitoring her is all a game to you at this point. I don't mean this condescendingly at all - maybe getting some IC would be helpful for you?

[ChickiePops]

What's your endgame here? Why are you bothering with this? It sounds like you're getting some kind of sick pleasure from watching your wife struggle...

 

She's an awful, selfish, disgraceful excuse for a human being for sure but what on earth are you doing? Either bust her and try to reconcile or leave but staying around just so you can watch her and laugh at the pain she's in is almost as bad as her cheating in the first place. This is extremely unhealthy behavior from both of you.