Hygiene: Best Way To Tell Someone They Stink

[Grumpybutfun]

Recently, I've noticed some threads about friends or dates stinking, and I just don't understand how people don't know they stink. I am a troubleshooter Engineer so I travel from place to place, meet all kinds of people and have met quite a few men who are beyond just workplace odors. They flat out smell like butt.

I work in industrial areas or on a ranch, am no stranger to sweat and dirt, but I know enough to wear deodorant, shower daily and brush my teeth three times a day. Who in the world, in a first world country, doesn't know this stuff?

Is it possible it could be a health issue and they need to be told?

What would be the parameters of you telling someone who has serious hygiene issues and how? Why do you think people aren't aware of their hygiene issues?

Hey, you stink, jk, jk,

Grumps

[TaraMaiden2]

Actually, weirdly enough I was elected to advise a fellow staff member that he had.... 'a problem'.

 

So I asked him if I could have a word, retired to the stockroom with him, and quietly told him that there was some concern about his 'fragrance' and that it seemed some found it a little...'powerful'.

I was merely telling him because I didn't want him to find out others had protested, or to be told in a less tactful and more cruel or spiteful manner, but it really was a bit strong....

 

He was obviously a little disturbed by it, and asked me who had said such things and I replied that it was immaterial, but the fact that a few people had remarked on it should be sufficient for him to consider their comments.

At first, he thought I was making it up. He asked me if in fact it was really just me, but I assured him it wasn't.

He shrugged and sulked off, mumbling "oh well thanks for telling me"...

 

Later, another colleague confided in me that our mutual friend had approached him, asking whether he smelt. He had replied that, well, actually, now he asked, he did.... and then he asked, "Why, has *TaraMaiden* spoken to you?"

 

Thus, it all fitted, and my approach was confirmed as being representative rather than personal.

 

Things improved from then on.

[Emilia]

I haven't been in this situation for a long time and probably wouldn't say anything unless it was intolerably bad. I wouldn't say anything just because I thought they should smell better.

 

In terms of the really funky stuff... I don't know whether I'd mention that others noticed it too, probably would pretend it was just me (though I can see why a group complaint is better), it must feel humiliating, would do for a woman.

[amaysngrace]

Just tell them that they smell ripe.

 

I don't know what that means exactly but it doesn't sound as bad as saying they stink.

 

I worked with a young man who smelled like BO so bad that I almost puked but my boss told him he "needs to get a shower before amaysngrace passes out". He replied "I smell like man" so my boss told him "you smell like dirty man"

 

It didn't really help too much. Instead of using deodorant he still had BO but slapped some baby powder and some cheap cologne on it.

[jen1447]

Get a friend to do it as an insider 'tip.'

 

The guys who smell like "butt," is that literally? That'd be diff from body odor obvs, more a wiping issue.

[BlueIris]

Maybe suggest they use more detergent in the wash, or, say, “it smells like maybe you’re not using enough detergent.”

 

My exBF smelled awful often and I didn’t realize why until I picked up some newly laundered clothes of his, stacked right there on the dryer, to take to him in the hospital. They all smelled bad. I don’t think he used enough detergent or any or something like that.

[Grumpybutfun]

I'm not around them enough to make the effort really to comment....mainly just asking in an observational way.....and yes, Jen, a few smell like they have feces on them.

If a buddy or someone I work closely with stink, I just tell them. "Hey, you smell horrid, take a shower and wear some deodorant." Usually they laugh like I'm kidding, but they get the hint because they clean up their act, so to speak.

I am fairly fastidious about hygiene so maybe this is an area where some people just don't care if they stink or smell "natural."

G

[Emilia]

My exBF smelled awful often and I didn’t realize why until I picked up some newly laundered clothes of his, stacked right there on the dryer, to take to him in the hospital. They all smelled bad. I don’t think he used enough detergent or any or something like that.

Sometimes people don't use a hot enough wash or wear clothes for too long and sweat doesn't wash out anymore.

[MidwestUSA]

Sometimes people don't use a hot enough wash or wear clothes for too long and sweat doesn't wash out anymore.

 

I'm guilty of forgetting clothing in the washer. I always check for funk and rewash if needed. Because warm, dried funk is actually worse than wet.

[SammySammy]

Sometimes, you just have to be direct.

 

[Arieswoman]

I've found a problem with some single men who smell "fusty".

 

From what I gather, they dry their clothes on the radiators ( because they don't have a tumble-dryer, or can't be bothered to use one !) and that's what causes bacteria to settle on them and cause that particular odour.

 

Pooooooh !

 

(mind you it's preferable to smelling like "butt! )

[GorillaTheater]

My 13-year-old athletic son STILL hasn't fully grasped the fact that he can get pretty damn funky. Sometimes you get within 5 feet of him and it's like, "Jesus!"

 

 

I just tell him it's time to hit the showers. He says "oh", and off he goes.

[Sabella]

My 13-year-old athletic son STILL hasn't fully grasped the fact that he can get pretty damn funky. Sometimes you get within 5 feet of him and it's like, "Jesus!"

 

 

I just tell him it's time to hit the showers. He says "oh", and off he goes.

 

Lol I can totally relate. Mine actually gets mad when I tell him to bathe though which makes it a bit more difficult. I dont want he to be the "smelly" kid though...sheesh

[Sabella]

Sometimes people don't use a hot enough wash or wear clothes for too long and sweat doesn't wash out anymore.

 

It's also a huge problem with new front loading washing machines. They actually need to be cleaned regularly. So annoying. But eventually they just start to smell up your clothes

[MidwestUSA]

It's also a huge problem with new front loading washing machines. They actually need to be cleaned regularly. So annoying. But eventually they just start to smell up your clothes

 

That's my issue. And you can't soak anything. That gasket/seal thingy that eats your socks? You have to get in there and wipe the grunge out. I leave the door open when not in use.

 

When this one dies, I'm not buying another.

[deep_night]

oh my gosh D:

 

first of all id like to say that im showering every day, when it's hot twice. but when i get stressed I STINK. no matter what. no matter how often i wash myself. no amtter how much deodorant i use. it's the smell of STRESS and it's terrible and very distinct. i must;ve been an opossum in a past life. f*** my anxiety i swear its an effing nightmare. i even avoid public transport when it happens because i dont want to be a nuisance.

 

anyway. rant is over, these days im calm and smell like a rose garden!

 

so, i've told to a friend; "honey, you ve sweated and its noticeable, maybe your deodorant isn very effective. it happens to me sometimes and i change brands"

it worked

[Emilia]

It's also a huge problem with new front loading washing machines. They actually need to be cleaned regularly. So annoying. But eventually they just start to smell up your clothes

 

That's my issue. And you can't soak anything. That gasket/seal thingy that eats your socks? You have to get in there and wipe the grunge out. I leave the door open when not in use.

 

When this one dies, I'm not buying another.

Since I switched to my local laundrette, I have not had any problems. Large washing machine drums and large dryer drums. They use more water but I do the whole wash in one go, lots of detergent and large driers to dry everything in -without creasing the clothes.

 

I'm not considering using my home washer any time soon.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I worked with a young man who smelled like BO so bad that I almost puked but my boss told him he "needs to get a shower before amaysngrace passes out". He replied "I smell like man" so my boss told him "you smell like dirty man"

 

Got a really great laugh out of the above! I think I'd like your boss!

 

As for the front loading washing machines I've used one for a decade (same one) and pretty sure I've never had odor problems with my laundry. Know this because people sometimes comment that I smell good when they hug me and I don't wear cologne or perfume anymore.

 

If you're having trouble with odor in your front loading washing machine maybe try running a load of whites with bleach through it every now and then.

 

As for letting someone know they stink, I had to tell a guy I was dating once that he did. I just told him he must not be doing his laundry the right way because of the odor he had. Thought it would be easier to blame it on his clothing than on him. I used to wonder how he got to the career position he held while smelling so funky. I noticed, also, that his car wasn't the cleanest.

Edited May 31, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease

[Buddhist]

but when i get stressed I STINK. no matter what. no matter how often i wash myself. no amtter how much deodorant i use. it's the smell of STRESS and it's terrible and very distinct.

 

Yep I noticed I stank horribly once I got anxiety, never had any odour issues beforehand.

[deep_night]

Yep I noticed I stank horribly once I got anxiety, never had any odour issues beforehand.

 

.. maybe it's an inherent way for us tormented souls to recognise each other without words :B