Arguments - am I wrong?

[Michelle345]

I've been dating a guy for 5 years, lived together for 3, and we always argue.

 

Thing is, he never seems to think he's wrong and I've only seen him apologise twice. And it's always after the fact.

 

Every other argument he gets me to see its my fault (I believe it at the time, and sometimes it is my fault). However often I look back and I don't think I did anything wrong, or I think it was a misunderstanding with both of us responsible.

 

Today I told him that he had left the gas ring on. I thought he might have done it by mistake. Rather than say 'on no thanks but I did it on purpose.' He just yelled 'I meant to!'

I then tried to explain I wasn't berating him but that I was trying to help. He then got all defensive.

Then I said that I thought it was odd he didn't say thank you. That I was just trying to help.

 

It then went into a full blown row and he says I should have just let it go. Even though he wasn't levelling with me.

Am I crazy?!

[Miss Clavel]

I've been dating a guy for 5 years, lived together for 3, and we always argue.

 

Thing is, he never seems to think he's wrong and I've only seen him apologise twice. And it's always after the fact.

 

Every other argument he gets me to see its my fault (I believe it at the time, and sometimes it is my fault). However often I look back and I don't think I did anything wrong, or I think it was a misunderstanding with both of us responsible.

 

Today I told him that he had left the gas ring on. I thought he might have done it by mistake. Rather than say 'on no thanks but I did it on purpose.' He just yelled 'I meant to!'

I then tried to explain I wasn't berating him but that I was trying to help. He then got all defensive.

Then I said that I thought it was odd he didn't say thank you. That I was just trying to help.

 

It then went into a full blown row and he says I should have just let it go. Even though he wasn't levelling with me.

Am I crazy?!

 

you wanna be right or you wanna be happy?

 

when you get into these "arguments" can't you just agree to disagree?

 

cuz, i have to tell you, i'm always right. it's a huge burden. and i believe most women are cursed with the ability to see the future, unless they are OW. and it's very hard to stand by and let those you love make mistakes and go there own way. plus it's very hard not to say "i told you so". i do enjoy those words.

 

but, as life goes on, i've learned it's better to be happy. because, secretly, i'm right.

 

 

so just keep it to yourself. ignore the gas ring unless you think it's going to blow up. and i don't apologize for an "argument" or a disagreement unless there are insults, shouting or personal attacks. why should i? we disagree. we "argue" our side, our perception.

 

as adults, most of us don't expect the other one to change sides. we just hope the other person will take the time to see our "side" and respect it.

 

"this is what i saw, this is what you did, this is what i did because of that". as far as saying sorry i perceive/see/feel/find/ or know something, nope. sorry, not sorry.

 

besides, most disagreements around here end when someone loads the proof on their cell phone google.

 

have you looked up his astrology? i'm guessing one of you is virgo?

 

good luck

[SomethingToSay]

Its tempting to point out others mistakes. You could just turn the ring off yourself. Or say nicely "do you want this on?" Saying "You left the gas ring on" comes off as accusatory right out the gait.

 

Thats just a general tip for better communication. As for whether your BF is unreasonable to rarely apologize, hard to say without knowing more detail.

 

Generally tho is you fight all the time you should consider couples counseling to see if you can make this a healthier relationship

[d0nnivain]

Yes. You are crazy. After 5 years your communication should have improved. If all you do is argue one of you has huge communication problems. So whether it's you or it's him it's not getting better. Nothing is improving. You are doing the same things that annoy one of you over & over & over. When are you going to stop?