Is there anything I can do?

[melinda1]

Hello everyone!

 

First of all, I want to say that I still have strong feelings for my ex. He dumped me 3 months ago because he got a job in another country. If everything goes well, he will go there in Semptember. It was not an easy decision for him, especially because I was his first girlfriend. To be completely honest, I messed things up a bit so he decided to leave.

 

I was really devastated afterwards, but I didn't wanted to contact him. About a month ago, he sent me a drunken text saying he missed me and how much he wished everything had turned out differently. In the end we had a minor stupid fight, and I haven't heard from him since.

 

A few days ago, I caught him checking up my profile. We are both registered on one forum. Does he miss me or what? Is there any chance I can approach him again? I am so confused, please help.

[juniorrocha]

I suppose he does miss you, but I don't think he would want to get back together. Emotionally he may be involved, what caused him to text you drunk and stalk, but rationally it seems like he's sure of his decision, or else maybe he would've tried harder. I think you should go NC and move on.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm sure he misses you on some level and is wondering what you're up to, but I don't think this one will work out. He's changing countries and probably doesn't see much point in trying to rekindle anything.

[melinda1]

Thank you for your answer.

To be honest, I would really love to see him before he leaves. Is there any way I can approach him without looking weird? Any advice would be appreciated.

[PegNosePete]

Sure, you can say "I'd like to meet you for a coffee before you leave, just to say goodbye".

 

That wouldn't look weird, I don't think.

 

If he says yes, all good. If he says no, leave him to it.

 

But as the others say, I don't think this will lead to a reconciliation. He is still leaving for another country. He must be all excited and looking forward to the next stage in his life. I very much doubt he'll change his mind and his plans at this point.

[JC2016]

Hello everyone!

 

First of all, I want to say that I still have strong feelings for my ex. He dumped me 3 months ago because he got a job in another country. If everything goes well, he will go there in Semptember. It was not an easy decision for him, especially because I was his first girlfriend. To be completely honest, I messed things up a bit so he decided to leave.

 

I was really devastated afterwards, but I didn't wanted to contact him. About a month ago, he sent me a drunken text saying he missed me and how much he wished everything had turned out differently. In the end we had a minor stupid fight, and I haven't heard from him since.

 

A few days ago, I caught him checking up my profile. We are both registered on one forum. Does he miss me or what? Is there any chance I can approach him again? I am so confused, please help.

 

 

I feel your pain, I have been dumped recently too.

 

Personally I found it very difficult to "just get over" my ex. my friends were telling me that there were other fish in the sea and other such cliches.

 

I read that he was texting you and I find that it is so sad how many relationships turn worse through channels like texting and facebook messaging these days. I personally have texted many things I have regretted. One of my friends swears by a programme reviewed here:

hewantsyouback.com

 

You might want to check it out, it basically outlines the common pitfalls of texting and social media interactions with our exes. You sound like you have a chance but you have to play it right. A lot of the stuff the programme tells you to avoid is scarily similar to what actually happens.

It also gives you general guidelines and tip on how to play things gradually. At the moment you need to de-escalate the tensions and build from scratch, bring that spark and romance back. His checking up on you shows he still cares.