No Support From Family

[R.Kiddo]

I'm new here so please bare with me. Lol!

 

 

Anywho, I absolutely love my family and always enjoy time spent with them. I haven't always made the best decisions in life and I feel like my family holds a grudge against me for those bad decisions, even if it had nothing to do with them. They'll add me as a friend on Facebook but won't ever message me to ask how I'm doing, and if they do come out here to visit it's just a hug and a "Hi" and "Bye" when they're going back home.

 

My mom is always sick and I've never really had a stable relationship with her, my dad is a workaholic and all he ever does is complain and talk about himself like he's above everyone else, my sister recently moved to a different state and is busy living life with her fiancée, my brother's don't really keep in touch with me it's just a kind of "I'll see you when I see you" thing with them. The rest of the family I have out here haven't been in touch with each other since my aunt lost her battle with breast cancer back in 2004.

 

Ever since I was a little girl I've always felt alone, it's just when I hit my 20's that everything has been so stressful and keeping everything bottled up without having anyone to talk to about it all has really gotten to me.. I used self-harm as another way to try and let my emotions out and all that did was make things worse.

 

Sorry if I've gotten a little too personal it's just nice to know if I have no one to speak my mind to personally I'm glad I can do it here.

[Els]

I'm sorry that your family hasn't been supportive (although if your mother is severely ill, I would give her a pass on that). But really, you can't just rely on your parents/siblings for support either. Do you make an effort to make close friends, to maintain old friendships, and perhaps to look for a partner?

 

As an adult you are partially responsible for maintaining or seeking contact with others as well. Both within your family and outside. And support has to be a two-way street. Do you try to support your ill mother?

[Emilia]

It is very sad to hear so much distance in a family.

 

May I ask why it is that your mum is always sick? Does she have an acute illness or is she a hypochondriac?

 

I'm asking because a hypochondriac and attention seeking mother combined with a workaholic father is a classic combination of two people with massive intimacy issues living together - this usually plays out in how they raise their family and often result in dysfunction.

 

Do you think your mum is actually ill?

[d0nnivain]

Families aren't perfect. There are probably reasons they act like this. They most likely had disappointments in their own lives that you don't know about.

 

I was in college when I realized other families hugged & kissed each other hello & good bye on a regular basis. In my family those gestures were reserved for long absences (1 month plus). I felt deprived but instead of complaining about it, I just started hugging & kissing them & saying I love you more. Guess what? they mirrored by behavior. I got what I wanted but never had to say a word. At 18 I wouldn't have known what to say anyway.

 

Try changing your behavior. You reach out to them. If they are receptive take it as a victory & move on.

[fullofhope347]

Dear Nosupportfromfamily:

Dear girl, please know self harm is not good!!! The best way to get rid of the pain inside is to address it and find your purpose, why you are here, and to find a love that you are truly longing for.

I had an extremely rough life growing up. Things were done and said and it was so bad there was just a big disconnect between me and family members.

My inner desire was just to find love, acceptance, purpose and fulfillment. I found all that and more with God and my church family

There are organizations and other people that really care in this world. Family doesn't have to be a connection between people that are related. You can get connected with others that truly care!

Please reach out, if you look in the right places you will find the right family for you.

I pray you find on the inside what I have found.