Acerboy Posted May 28, 2016 Share Posted May 28, 2016 I have lost count the number of times a woman has posted here asking for advice on what to do about a guy giving her lots of attention. Some will even say they've never received this amount of attention before and are confused whether the man likes her or not. Then again, there are also a lot of post here where a man (the OP) is told that the woman he is asking about is doing whatever she is doing for attention. I don't get it. First, nobody actually says what exactly they mean by "attention"... What do you ladies mean when you say the guy is giving you lots of attention. Is this before the asking out or during the dating process? And how much is too little or too much? Why are the ladies confused when they are given that much attention? I am trying to make improvements in my dating life and would appreciate any thoughts on this subject. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 28, 2016 Share Posted May 28, 2016 Too much is used by players....some call it being love bombed. They give an unusual amount of what women like, like compliments such as you are the most amazing woman I have ever met, I can't believe you are single, etc. Smart ladies see right through this crap, but there are women who are vulnerable, love starved, etc that get overwhelmed and are swimming in emotions, it becomes a tug-o-war whether or not to believe what is happening. It feels so good they don't want to believe it's bs, but there is that nagging in the back of their mind...it's too good to be true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Acerboy Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 Too much is used by players....some call it being love bombed. They give an unusual amount of what women like, like compliments such as you are the most amazing woman I have ever met, I can't believe you are single, etc. Smart ladies see right through this crap, but there are women who are vulnerable, love starved, etc that get overwhelmed and are swimming in emotions, it becomes a tug-o-war whether or not to believe what is happening. It feels so good they don't want to believe it's bs, but there is that nagging in the back of their mind...it's too good to be true. I recently told a woman she was amazing. And I meant it. She was very appreciate of it. Now you are making me think she would be thinking I was BSing her. This whole thing is confusing Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 28, 2016 Share Posted May 28, 2016 I recently told a woman she was amazing. And I meant it. She was very appreciate of it. Now you are making me think she would be thinking I was BSing her. This whole thing is confusing smackie means over the top acer, overloading the compliments...or known as love bombing...commonly used by players...ill add that sometimes getting over excited with a woman...and paying her heaps of compliments everytime you are together...can get awkward and uncomfortable for some women..its lovely to get compliments...it can lift a persons day.it often lifts mine...makes em feel good about being me...normally one will suffice..if a guy pays me heaps of compliments...i normally think he is possibly a little crazy.on some lsd trip and hallucinating...or playing me......deb... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I recently told a woman she was amazing Smart ladies see right through this crap there are women who are vulnerable, love starved, etc that get overwhelmed and are swimming in emotions, it becomes a tug-o-war whether or not to believe what is happening. It feels so good they don't want to believe it's bs This is another one of these common sense issues. If a guy meets a woman, and lets say they hang out together for a time....or let's say they are dating, for a few months and a dude says crap like "you are the most amazing woman ever" or "you are the most beautiful woman" it's phony. It's kind of like the dude telling a woman he loves her after dating for a month. The most beautiful compared to what? The most amazing compared to what? Did she win a freaking Nobel Peace Prize? While I have complimented a woman a various stages of the dating or relationship process the compliment is usually in the moment. Going out on the town and specifically complementing her dress, or something she might have accomplished a project or award. You show a woman of quality that she is "amazing" by your actions. While there is nothing wrong with a flirtatious in the moment compliment but as was said "players" can tell when a woman is vulnerable so throwing out some BS compliment feeds into past insecurities. Unfortunately it works far too often... players getting what the "compliment" was intended to produce... Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 If you want to improve your dating life realize that blanket statements and generalizations about a whole gender can get you off-base. Avoid creating rigid rules of engagement for yourself. Stay genuine to who you are. What is considered appropriate attention versus "too much" will depend on the two people involved, the context, and your connection, if any. Heck, my boyfriend called me one of the most amazing women he had ever met on our first date. He meant it sincerely, and I took it as such. There are other times when guys are using flattery with ulterior motives. It's pretty obvious when they do. Many people are pretty good at teasing out when someone is being insincere versus genuine. Learn to be yourself and get comfortable in your own skin. The right woman for you will appreciate the genuine you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 The compliments have to reflect the reality. If after 1 date you tell me I am hilarious that's a nice compliment and yes, I have a wicked sense of humour, love laughing, and 1 date is enough to get a sense of that in me. On the other hand if after 1 date you tell me I am the most beautiful woman you've met, I am amazing, and I am from now on your reason to live..........well, that's gonna come off as fake and love bombing. See the difference? Keep your compliments to what you can Identify. * You look very petty tonight * You are funny * You're a nice person Link to post Share on other sites
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