tawnyap Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I have a best guy friend that I sometimes can't seem to understand. I wore this one nice pretty dress the other day to work and have received so many compliments from my coworkers. Even one other male coworker gave me a compliment that I was looking nice in that dress. My guy friend tells me that I look elegant in other dresses, but this dress is not of my type and that it doesn't suit me. Why would he say this when everyone else really liked my dress? What does he actually mean?
basil67 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Your guy friend needs to learn "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Though if his blunt honesty is something you generally appreciate, just accept this as part of who he is.
whichwayisup Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 I have a best guy friend that I sometimes can't seem to understand. I wore this one nice pretty dress the other day to work and have received so many compliments from my coworkers. Even one other male coworker gave me a compliment that I was looking nice in that dress. My guy friend tells me that I look elegant in other dresses, but this dress is not of my type and that it doesn't suit me. Why would he say this when everyone else really liked my dress? What does he actually mean? If a woman friend said what he said, would you be questioning her the same way? Is this guy JUST a best friend or do you have feelings for him? I think he means exactly what he meant - And you're looking for a deeper meaning and analyzing what he said too much.
Author tawnyap Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 I would be questioning the same way even if I heard from any other friend of mine. I just didn't know if everyone else was lying to me in my face when clearly it wasn't looking good on me. Couldn't decide who to trust.
anika99 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Dress for yourself, not to please others. You will never please everyone's personal tastes. No matter what you wear or what you look like it will never be everyone's cup of tea. If you liked that dress and you thought you looked fabulous why agonize over 1 differing opinion? If you and your friend normally give each other your honest opinions then he was not being mean. 2
privategal Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 You are way too invested in what other people think of you. 1
preraph Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Yes, he does have a mean streak. He may be one of those who likes to build himself up by tearing you down. People with low self-esteem are who do that. Mean people with low self-esteem. He was probably jealous that others liked your dress and complimented you if you even told him that. I get the feeling there's more than just friendship on one side or the other here, but it doesn't sound like a healthy match at all, not that you asked. 3
Author tawnyap Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 @survivor 12. Yeah he likes my other dresses. @anika99: Thank you. I guess the way he made it sound saying: I look elegant in other dresses kind of made me feel like probably this wasn't too decent enough to wear to college? But it wasn't too short or revealing which kind of confused me. @preraph: Thank you for the advice. I did mention to him saying how everyone else said the quite contrary that it was looking great on me. 2
preraph Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 If it had been indecent, others wouldn't have complimented you. Be careful of guys who try to tell you how to dress. 3
Author tawnyap Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Thank you, this was what I was hoping to hear. I was wearing a jacket over my dress along with leggings, and I couldn't seem to figure out why it would have looked so indecent. 1
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 As a few others have said, don't let this guy's opinion doubt how you looked in your dress. You didn't really say, but are you interested in him more than a friend? Just seems his comments have really thrown you off and it bothered you way more than it should have.
Author tawnyap Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 @whichwayisup: Thank you. This is just my best friend that am talking about. He always seems to put me down for anything/everything that I do . So, somehow the comment he made disappointed me. I sometimes question myself if I really need to continue to think of him as my best friend.
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 @whichwayisup: Thank you. This is just my best friend that am talking about. He always seems to put me down for anything/everything that I do . So, somehow the comment he made disappointed me. I sometimes question myself if I really need to continue to think of him as my best friend. Then he isn't your best friend. You tell him to stop doing that and put boundaries up so he won't do it again. Let him know how it makes you feel when he puts you down. IF he continues that rude behavior then it is time to reassess if you want him in your life. Why keep friends in your life who make you feel like crap and make you doubt yourself?
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