Blueberry97 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 We were together a little over two years, we broke up about a month and half ago and we had some issues trying to stay friends so there was a period we didn't talk at all. But a couple days ago, he called me and said all of this -He wants to hang out soon -He still loves me -He thinks about me every night before he goes to sleep -He still sees us getting back together in the future -He wants to be with me but is afraid -he wants to try dating someone else to "know that he's an idiot" but he doesn't think he could ever fall as hard for someone as he did with me -I would never be second place to any of his girlfriends -If we get back together he wants to it to be for the rest of his life After that conversation we've texted a little bit but I am so confused because none of that makes any sense. I really want him back and I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
RocketQueen Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Being in a similar position to you, with hindsight, I would tell him that you're not going to be sat on the back burner while he decides whether you're 'worthy' of a second try (once he's exhausted all other options). As hard as it is, tell him to go out and spread his wings but not to expect you to be sat waiting for IF that time ever comes. Don't panic and wonder if you do that will you have 'lost' him, you already have. Let him have his fun. Go no contact and while he's doing whatever (you won't know, so try not to let your mind drive you crazy) take the steps to move on. He is RISKING losing you for good, but he has to be a big boy and accept that that is a very big possibility. If he wants you there will be no confusion. Trust your instincts. If you're not sure what he wants its because he's sugar coated a whole lot of nothing into something that sounds meaningful. I hope you don't think I'm being harsh- I am just coming out of the other side of being confused and making excuses for him and his flakiness. Be strong. xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
266696687 Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Yeah sorry but you are allowing him to delude you and string you along. If any of what he said was the truth you'd be together. He would never have broken up with you. What he is doing is classic stringing along. Keeping you just 'warm' enough to make sure you stick around while he tests out other women. Not only that but asking to meet up probably means he is looking for some no strings sex too as he might not yet have secured a new girl so will come back and use you in the meantime. Seriously this guy is lying to you and you are eating it up. Pick yourself up and have some self respect. Do you want to be this guys backup girl? Do you want him to use you for no strings sex while he explores his options of other women? What he is telling you is absolute bull. Don't allow someone to downgrade you from girlfriend to fallback girl. Have enough self respect to tell him if he doesn't want to be with you NOW and long term then you will move on to find someone who does. You will not wait for him to test out other girls. If he doesn't realize or respect and love what he has with you then YOU will be moving on as you will not settle for less than you deserve. The fact that he even had the audacity to tell you he is going to be checking out other girls and then may come back to you if he doesn't find someone better should tell you all you need to know. He is so sure you will stick around regardless of what he does. He is so certain that you are that 'weak' for him that he can walk all over you and still leave the door open for his return (if he doesn't find someone else). Show him you are not weak and won't put up with it. Don't be so desperate for him that you are willing to sacrifice your self respect but also your standards. Be willing to walk away and mean it. Walk away. Block him, delete him and go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
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