Is it appropriate for a single female to be close friends with an older married man?

[Privatelady677]

And she has never met the wife after about 3 years of friendship???

 

The single woman (My sister) in her 20s and the guy in there 40s. They still have feelings for one another but have NEVER acted on the feelings yet remain very close and talk almost everyday (most text messaging) and once hung out at her house together. The guy claims sex in not his goal but what else could be his goal? I think they are genuine friends but there still appears to be something there, a deep attraction perhaps....

 

There also has been intense flirting in the past to my knowledge and I believe some here recently...

 

 

They talk about everything, from sex, to music, to current events, and everything else in between.

 

What do you all think?

 

Isn't it a little off that a 40 something married man considers a young woman in her 20s to be a very close friend yet he hasn't took initiative to introduce the wife?

Edited May 31, 2016 by Privatelady677

[VeveCakes]

If he was single it wouldn't matter, married, yes, this is innapropriate.

[understand50]

No,I would say on the fact presented, this is not appropriate. Now, I do have friends of the opposite sex, but my friendship always involves the spouse, and my wife. These "girl friends" may be more my friend then my wife's, but they know and socialize with her, and we come as a package deal. She also has men friends, and the same holds for her "friends". Of course this is all platonic.

 

What I find as a red flag, is the amount of communication, and the type of communication. The fact that his wife is not in the "know" is also troubling. So...... Your sister, should look to meet the wife, and dial it back a bit. She needs a boy friend, and yes, maybe her older guy friend can become good platonic friend, but this is just leading to her being the "other" Woman.

 

I wish her luck....

[lemondrop21]

If they have feelings for one another then this is called an emotional affair, whether or not your sister wants to acknowledge that fact. It wouldn't surprise me if it turns physical, and regardless will probably carry on for a long time. Hopefully your sister is dating single men and can get herself out of this before she falls completely head over heels for this guy. But judging by the amount of contact they have with each other, it wouldn't surprise me if it's already too late.

[Liam1]

And she has never met the wife after about 3 years of friendship???

 

The single woman (My sister) in her 20s and the guy in there 40s. They still have feelings for one another but have NEVER acted on the feelings yet remain very close and talk almost everyday (most text messaging) and once hung out at her house together. The guy claims sex in not his goal but what else could be his goal? I think they are genuine friends but there still appears to be something there, a deep attraction perhaps....

 

There also has been intense flirting in the past to my knowledge and I believe some here recently...

 

 

They talk about everything, from sex, to music, to current events, and everything else in between.

 

What do you all think?

 

Isn't it a little off that a 40 something married man considers a young woman in her 20s to be a very close friend yet he hasn't took initiative to introduce the wife?

 

IMO, this is going to eventually cause a problem in this man's marriage and will likely not end in a marriage for your sister.

 

The fact that she has never been introduced to the wife is odd. Also The conversations about sex are inappropriate for a married man, as well as visiting her house alone.

 

Why doesn't she have friends her own age that she associates with?

 

Both your sister and this guy are fooling Themselves if the do not think she has daddy issues or is looking for an older guy that is more financially set than men her own age.

[SoleMate]

It's an affair in the making, and a frightening risk for your sister to run. If there's anything you can do to help her:

1. Break off contact with MM
   
2. Learn the facts about affairs and the preliminary patterns
   
3. Get counseling about life choices, relationships, and self esteem
   

it would be one of the best things you could ever do for her. It's tricky though.....She's already in the fog.

[NTV]

She should probably go introduce herself to his wife. I mean, if they're such good buddies, what could it hurt? She should even take the initiative there right? show up at his house randomly one day to shake her hand?

 

 

----just kidding. You already know that's about as good of an idea as laying down in the middle of a road. Why? because what they're doing is wrong. it's not a friendship. if it were, then she would have already met this guys wife and they wouldn't be talking about sex.

 

 

nope. all kinda of wrong there. good luck trying to sort it out though, most 20-yr-olds don't listen to themselves talk let alone an older sibling. If you have other family and know her friends, I'd say stage an intervention..... nothing like embarrassment to keep her from acting on a bad idea. Then again, it's probably too late.

 

 

Good luck!

[wbm665]

And she has never met the wife after about 3 years of friendship???

 

The single woman (My sister) in her 20s and the guy in there 40s. They still have feelings for one another but have NEVER acted on the feelings yet remain very close and talk almost everyday (most text messaging) and once hung out at her house together. The guy claims sex in not his goal but what else could be his goal? I think they are genuine friends but there still appears to be something there, a deep attraction perhaps....

 

There also has been intense flirting in the past to my knowledge and I believe some here recently...

 

 

They talk about everything, from sex, to music, to current events, and everything else in between.

 

What do you all think?

 

Isn't it a little off that a 40 something married man considers a young woman in her 20s to be a very close friend yet he hasn't took initiative to introduce the wife?

 

 

Does the wife know about your sister and the friendship? If so, and she doesn't want to meet your sister or doesn't care, then I don't think anything at all. It is between the MM and his wife what the boundaries are in their relationship.

 

 

Would I be ok with it? No, but it isn't my relationship.