DexterLS Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Hello, I recently got into a LDR with one of my friends who I knew for 8-9 years. We are together since 3 months. Unfortunately, we are in two different countries. She is a student in France while I am working in Abu Dhabi. I have a few concerns with this relationship which I will highlight below. In the last year, before we got together, we would text almost everyday. Not a lot, maybe for couple of minutes and we would both get back to our own lives. We were both in long-term relationships and were cheated upon. She was single since 3 years while I got out of a bad breakup around 12-15 months ago. She is this strong, probably smartest woman I know and I was always kind of attracted by her qualities and so when she confessed her feelings to me, I was very much interested to explore the possibility with her. However, recently we have been fighting a lot. She goes to a University and naturally has a lot of friends that she goes out with. I don't mind that and I understand that she needs to have her own space. However, she doesn't seem to "care" in a way about me. I had to do a very important Doctor's appointment today and I would have hoped that she had called me in the morning to discuss it or encourage me or something. But nothing. She rarely asks me any questions about what's going on in my life. I know she has been single for a long while and she doesn't open up to a lot of people but, I still think it's a bit unfair to me. I do my best to make this work. I went to meet her in France and since my job allows me to travel, I am hoping to go to France every month for 1 week to be with her. However, her recent behaviour is not encouraging me at all. She doesn't seem to care very much about what's going on in my life. I confronted her today and she said that she was sorry. That's it. That's what she always does when I am angry about something. She apologises but never changes her behaviour. Should I be a little more patient with her? Given her history and all.. Am I expecting too much from her? Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 How old are you two? Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author DexterLS Posted June 1, 2016 Author Share Posted June 1, 2016 How old are you two? Best, TMichaels We are both 25. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 When someone apologises without making changes, it shows that they aren't truly sorry. True remorse involves change. The upshot is that this relationship sounds like it's not working for either of you. The two of you aren't getting to spend proper relationship time together, you're fighting, shis disinterested and nothing is changing. Not to mention, LDRs are a really bad choice for people who are damaged from having been cheated on. Why? Because when people's needs aren't being met by the relationship, they are more likely to meet someone else. I reckon if you say to her "this isn't working for us" she will probably agree. Time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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