Dumped right after vacation

[strongerthanbefore]

Hi all!

 

I had been going out with my ex for two months and we went to Rehoboth Beach for the Memorial Day weekend with a bunch of his friends. We had had some minor arguments due to our communication style being different prior to the trip and were going on the trip on the back of an argument.

 

The trip was fun for the first two days, but my now ex barely paid me any attention. The trip was a drunk show with so many parties and bar hoppings.

 

Saturday night I went home from a bar early and lost it as I left. My ex didnt offer to come and I admit I was a little dramatic, but I felt like I wanted to spend some time with him and we didn't get to do that, because he was just concentrating on his friends.

 

We had a blowup when he came home and said "Ok i'm going out with my friends" I said "Fine, but don't be surprised if I go home tomorrow". He turned around and stormed out.

 

My exes friends all accused me of being a drama queen, which I admit I was to an extent, but I felt so hurt because I went on the trip to be with him and then he ignored me the whole time. Apparently when he went out that night he decided he was going to break up with me and told all his friends. Sunday I felt totally isolated from the rest of the house, so I went and did my own thing. When I finally did see my now ex, he barely acknowledged me or talked to me. Instead, he said "we'll see" or "we'll talk about it later". When I proposed a plan for the future he said "I don't know". At this point I realized a breakup was coming. I snooped in his phone Monday morning (my fingerprint is on his phone and I have his password, thats how our relationship is) and found out he had reopened communication with the ex before me.

 

I felt heart broken. During the drive back from the beach we didn't talk to each other at all. My ex drove me home and eventually I said "Thanks for inviting me. What are you thinking about us?" He said "I feel like I can't have fun with you when we go out because I have to worry about you." This made me feel sad and he said he wanted to break up, but "stay friends in case things change in the future." I was quite upset, since I had paid to go on the vacaton so I told him everything I thought about him. As he drove up to my apartment, I jumped out of the car, grabbed my bags, left my phone charger in the car and had him saying "You forgot this" to which I said "Your phone is always dying, you keep it." Then grabbed my bags and left.That was yesterda y and we haven't spoken since. He is already on dating apps, which hurt like crazy.

 

His roommate sent me a Facebook message apologizing for my exes behavior and asking how I was. My response: "Thank you for reaching out, but i'm doing fine."

 

He hasn't contacted me since and I haven't contacted him either. I want him back though, but I don't know what to do. My friends are mixed on whether he will reach out or not. Today I mailed a package to him with the items he gave me, some photos and a note saying "I was going to frame these for you. Thought you might want them anyway."

 

Help

[mamabear32018]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and on what was supposed to be a fun vacation of all things. Being that it all just happened, perhaps give it a little time? Praying the best for you!

[privategal]

Grow up, you pouted, fought with him and expected alone time when his boys are there...hellooo..hes young and wants lighthearted drinking and fun.

You got too serious and he is over worrying about relationship drama when his friends are drinking and chilling. Who wants to fight with their girlfriend constantly? Find a guy who you are compatible with who commuicates your style so you can relax.

[kidm]

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. When you're going out of town for a memorial day weekend with your boyfriend and his buddies, spending alone time together may not be a high priority. This was not a romantic beach getaway for just the two of you. I am not saying he couldn't have carved out some time for you but it seems to me the nature of the trip was just to have some fun with the boys- everyone just wanted to barhop and have fun and get drunk without a needy girlfriend pouting like a big baby. Unless this is part of a bigger problem where he never wants to spend time with you alone, I hate to say this but you overreacted.

[basil67]

This type of weekend is what it's like when my guy has a weekend away with friends. I don't like it either. My solution? I don't go. I wish him a lovely weekend and enjoy doing my own thing at home. I don't expect him to call or check on. I organise other 1:1 holidays with him so that I con't miss out.

 

For you? Instead of pouting, you should have sucked it up but made a mental note to not do it again.

 

Also, the fights before you left and on arrival would also have contributed to the break up. Communication issues are actually a very good reason to end a relationship.