Dealing with Insecurity

[Ajen]

I wondered if anyone had any advice on dealing with insecurity. I've come to realise that I am very insecure and I think I have some abandonment issues, I've always had a negative view about myself and although this has pretty much gone away I find it hard to believe someone would want to be in a relationship with me. Not so much initially but as time goes on I think to myself that its inevitable that the relationship will end and then it does.

 

I've started reading some psychology books but I wondered if anyone had an ideas. I have thought about therapy but I am not sure if this would be something to do yet.

 

The thing that has pushed me to try and do something about these issues is the breakdown of a relationship, and although I am sure my ex's behaviour must have contributed to my issues, I really don't want to be in a similar position in the future with someone else.

 

Any advice would be great.

[juniorrocha]

I really suggest you to start therapy; I did it back then when I was a very shy/insecure person at the point I didn't even have friends. I started therapy and eventually things changed a lot: I made new friends, I started to do things to like myself more, started a relationship (which I previously thought I'd never do because of my insecurity), and the most important part: I started to focus on everything that makes me happy and removed anything that didn't from my life.

 

A few tips:

 

1. Start eating more healthy, it has a great impact in your life;

2. Work out, exercise. This was the key that made me go from very insecure to very confident;

3. Remove anything from your life that makes you sad;

4. Start focusing on what makes you happy, doesn't matter what it is;

5. Try not to think about what people has to say about you;

6. Do not accept people or anything in your life that doesn't make you a better person - this one was hard to learn, but after breaking up with a liar/cheater, I'm definitely never accepting someone like that ever again.

 

At the end of the day, you're the one that can break the walls you've built around you. Therapy certainly helps a lot, you should consider at least trying.