ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I always have trouble spotting the difference between a flirt and a genuine man. I have come across guys that barely know me but they are to be very flirty with me. He claims that he is not a flirt, but I am wise enough to know otherwise. How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 (edited) Easy. Guys who flirt to garner attention generally do this.... - They like to stare at you from across the room - They don't bother striking up conversations with you unless you initiate them - If you try to get to know them as people, they generally aren't interested in that - They never escalate their interest into asking you out on a date, nor do they include you in their circle of friend. - If you stop paying attention to them they immediately notice and double their efforts, only to then show apparent disinterest again - They only ever give you enough interest/attention to maintain yours on them. Breadcrumbs. - They maintain this apparent interest ad-inifinitum and seem absolutely comfortable that it's going nowhere. Edited June 2, 2016 by Buddhist 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 Easy. Guys who flirt to garner attention generally do this.... - They like to stare at you from across the room - They don't bother striking up conversations with you unless you initiate them - If you try to get to know them as people, they generally aren't interested in that - They never escalate their interest into asking you out on a date, nor do they include you in their circle of friend. - If you stop paying attention to them they immediately notice and double their efforts, only to then show apparent disinterest again - They only ever give you enough interest/attention to maintain yours on them. Breadcrumbs. - They maintain this apparent interest ad-inifinitum and seem absolutely comfortable that it's going nowhere. Very very helpful. Since dating has increasingly become digital. How does one spot the difference in the virtual world? Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 Very very helpful. Since dating has increasingly become digital. How does one spot the difference in the virtual world? No idea. I don't do online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Share Posted June 2, 2016 No idea. I don't do online dating. I meant in text messaging and calling. Some guys come off as absolute flirts. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy. Easy answer: Does he know you well enough to gauge that you are special to him? If he hasn't spent a lot of time with you and therefore doesn't know you well, then you can't be special to him. In which case, he's just a big flirt. It's also important to consider that you really can't be special to anyone who you've never/barely met. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 2, 2016 Share Posted June 2, 2016 I meant in text messaging and calling. Some guys come off as absolute flirts. I don't text and rarely use a phone for anything except paying bills. I tend not use electronics as a medium for flirting/getting to know someone. I only ever date people I meet IRL and leave my interactions with them to IRL too. Outside of that I'm happy to have little to no contact with them in-between dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 I am very confused about this guy's intentions. I have known him through friends for a while, but we have never really hung out together. I am not looking for a relationship, but I do want to avoid potential players. He is a very very good looking guy and his Facebook is filled with girls complimenting him. We started talking and he started flirting with me instantaneously. This put me off, because how can you be so flirty with someone you have just started speaking to? He asked for us to meet sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am not sure if its a date or just a casual get together. He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation. Oh and he mostly txts me at night. I am hoping it is because he is busy but I do see him online sometimes and he does not reply. Should I keep talking to him or get out before things get deeper? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Friend zone him. If he stiil flirts with you laugh and say I think I know a girl who would really enjoy you. Will you like me to see if she is dating someone. That is kinder than a friend who meet a girl and she gave him the phone number of the police station. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I am very confused about this guy's intentions. I have known him through friends for a while, but we have never really hung out together. I am not looking for a relationship, but I do want to avoid potential players. He is a very very good looking guy and his Facebook is filled with girls complimenting him. We started talking and he started flirting with me instantaneously. This put me off, because how can you be so flirty with someone you have just started speaking to? He asked for us to meet sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am not sure if its a date or just a casual get together. He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation. Oh and he mostly txts me at night. I am hoping it is because he is busy but I do see him online sometimes and he does not reply. Should I keep talking to him or get out before things get deeper? You are not looking for a relationship - yet expect to attract a guy that thinks you are special and is crazy about you and isn't looking for casual. Did I get that right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 No actually you got it all wrong. I meant I am not actively looking for a relationship but if it happens it happens. Although, I have been cheated on before and I know I can become sucked into the sweet talk. Which is why I queried his behaviour on the forum. I don't want to go down the same rabbit hole again. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 How can you be flirty with someone you just started speaking to? Easy. This is the basis of easily attracting a partner. And it's fun. That said, he can't be that much of a flirt if he doesn't initiate conversation. I'm wondering why you're bothering talking to a guy who doesn't ask questions or initiate conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation. Even if you are only looking for a fwb or casual or a fling, why would you want to waste time with a guy who shows no real interest in you whatsoever, past some flirty talk to get into your pants? He sounds superficial, egotistical and no doubt thick. Oh and he mostly txts me at night. Booty call? Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 If you know him through friends, then maybe you can ask them what they think if him. To me, sounds like he has low intetest but might be up for a booty call, based on time he messages and lack of initiating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy. initially you can't tell but the passage of time will tell Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 OP, can you give specific things he says or texts that lead you to believe he is flirting? Bombarding you with compliments, what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 He asked me out on a date. Although I get the impression that he is not very interested, so it is very likely that I will turn him down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ForeverAlone2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 OP, can you give specific things he says or texts that lead you to believe he is flirting? Bombarding you with compliments, what? Yes he compliments me a lot - but not the nice kind - the sleazy kind. He specifically compliments my figure. Normally I would be okay with that, but this guy doesn't even take the time out to talk to me about what makes me tick. He never initiates conversation which makes me assume that he is only looking for one thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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