I need advice...so please help.

[Just Call me Trinity]

Ok this is the cut down version, so if you want the full story, respond with your e-mail and i'll e-mail you, So I'm sure you all know how hard it is to have a best guy friend and then realize that you like them more than a friend right? Well, that was my case about 2 years ago. We actually took the plunge, and it was sooo good for about 1 month. Then it wasn't working, and it broke my heart, truly it did. Well, after about 6 months I finally got over it FINALLY YES!!! We actually began talking, he had a girl he was dating and all, but I didn't feel anything. So here we are 6 months later not as close as we were but close. He'd tell me about girls and it never got to me. Then he decided to get rid of this girl he was dating, and him and I got close again. There was one girl in particular who would always talk to me about him, thats all she'd talk about, so i got the hint that she liked him. Well, our big formal was coming up, and he told me that he went out with her so i was way bummed, thinking he'd ask her and all, but then one night him and i talked at this party, and things went awesome, and the next weekend he asked me to the formal. I was so excited. We became so close again it was like old times (only i didn't want to "date" again and ruin that you know so i was the one to shy away) well this past weekend i called him and he said he had a game to go to, so the next day he wrote me a letter and it said he went out w/ this girl again, ok the girl doesn't talk to me cause she's pissed that he asked me, and he went out w/ her again. I dont know what it is, but i get jealous about her only only her, no one else, we are still as of now planning to go to the formal, but what do i do? I care about him a lot, and he does show signs of caring for me. Is he trying to make me jealous by telling me about this girl or what? but this girl is totally plotting agains me...please help! I'm in need of advice bad! If you want more of the story and aren't bored by this, respond with your e-mail and I'll e-mail THANK YOU!

[Tony T]

I think you need to get your act together where this guy is concerned. You make it pretty clear that you really like him as a friend but you no longer want to date him...so that makes him a very free agent to see any other girl in the world.

 

So if he sees this girl who used to talk to you about him, it's no different than if he sees any other girl. It's very much HIS life, not yours. If you are a true friend, just let him be. Take a cold shower and get over it.

 

Now, if you are just plain lying to yourself and you want more from this guy than a buddyship you better get this straight with him real quick. Otherwise, back off and let him see whoever he wants.

 

If this is just a petty girl jealousy thing, this might be a good time to help yourself work through it and evolve as a human...you know, like grow a little. This guy is your friend, not your possession, and can see anybody he wants. If you care to stay his friend, support him in all the decisions he makes.

 

Why do I have the feeling you like this guy more than a friend? Why would you flip when he asked you to the formal if you are JUST his friend? Just be honest with yourself...that's the best you can do for yourself.

[Trinity]

Tony,

 

You are right. Here's the situation. When he first asked me to the dance, I didn't have any feelings more than a friend. Then my friends have been building me up saying things like, "you and him are so good together, you know you both like eachother go for it" so constantly I've been being built up even by him by the way he was acting, so it got to my head. Maybe he was liking me? I do like the kid, I care about him a ton, but he totally broke my heart. The only way I would ever go out with him again is if he were to commit (no dating, cause I dont want to risk all that again) Thats why i'm upset. Today at school he could totally tell, and he could tell something was wrong, and he actually cared. I dont know what to do, I honestly don't, But you are saying why should i get jealous? Like I said before...I dont get jealous about any other girl he tells me about, just this one, it's like she's doing this just to get to me. So your advice was awesome, but now i'm in a new position? Any suggestions now?