Trainer at work.

[Kristine]

I accepted a new job. I'm now in a training class with a small group of people. Well day two of training the trainer who has a girlfriend is going through a work role play situation. He's acting as my customer. I'm working through the dialog.

 

In the midst of this he grabs his heart, looks me in the eyes and says he loves me, this is coming out of left field. Shocked I look around the room they are all shocked like me. He than senses tension and tells a couple other people he loves them. Than gets back to work.

 

Day 4 he enters the room stating my name saying I have changed his life. Asks the room if they feel the love, no one responds. He than says come on guys do you feel the love? A few agree. Than business ensues.

 

I was thinking he was crazy but he's Sicilia Italian so I guess it's cultural. But still he may be attractive but he's involved and I'm not even sure who he is? I'm in the class for another week. But I like this job and want to do well with this company.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Kristine

[Emilia]

He is just trying to bed you, not genuine. He knows that in your culture men don't talk like this.

[Kristine]

Thanks that helps greatly.

[Kristine]

Okay I'm in the midst of week two. A coworker friend has said she loves the way we interact. She said yesterday I got more one to one training time than everyone else, and that he's going to really miss me when training is over. He overheard that and spent one to one time with each person in the class (her first), got help so I would have some assistance with something I was trying to complete, and apologized to me saying he's just one person trying to help 8 people. He also says in various ways you know I love you, I'm extra special, and other remarks.

 

A dept manager came in to train us and set up our computers for practicing, he gets to me and says OMG I get to talk to (my name)!. I was like okay. Whatever that means. I'm pretty sure words out about me, what that word is I'm not quite sure.

 

Today I decided to show a bit of interest in him, to see what he'd do with that, rather than play it off. Nothing to forthright, but a hint. Like he asked a leading question, I answered it. The man is attractive, he takes some getting used to, frankly the whole company acts wacky it's a family owned business, and I think it's a release because of the major regulations they are following. Perhaps an initiation of the new people.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Kristine

[Kristine]

Training has ended. Monday a new day, we received our desk assignments. My desk is fantastic! Others are envious and some a bit bitter. My coworker friend says he really is in love with you and will miss your personality. I stopped by his office to peak in and thank him. I let him know I'm really happy with my desk assignment. He was surprised, but smiled.

 

During training I said I would not stop by his desk, unless a business reason required me to do so, perhaps the surprise face. Anyway real work on Monday. Bye bye trainer.

[Kristine]

Okay I've finally had time to figure out everything the trainer did during my training. And he is not messing around, he's serious. Monday I'm changing a few things I've been doing.

 

My way of thinking is what caught his eye. I really have changed his life. He's no longer going to live according to others agenda's, his son excluded. He's really going to be altering the course of his existence. He's going to be authenticating his life. Yikes, who knew how powerful a statement could be?

[Kristine]

Yes I'm treated differently. But that won't last forever. I'm worried about when the fun and games come to an abrupt end. I like this job would like to have stability in my life. I'm not doing the best job but I'm trying my best. Others are better than I am. But I really am treated differently; even when reprimanded it's wth kit gloves. I know I don't control other people but is there any advice for me here?

[anika99]

You started another cryptic thread like this a few days back and that thread didn't get any responses either. I don't think anyone can give you advice because I don't think anyone knows what you're talking about.

[Kristine]

Ok the trainer to professed to love me day 3 of training. Day 4 I changed his life asked the class if they feel the love. Introduced to my supervisor would be supervisor by manager as meet so and so isn't he hansome? I refuse to answer. Finally he sets me down to watch him work and learn a few things. Back to training room. What did you think of Mr Handsome? After much probing I say it's a matter of perspective he's a guy.

 

Training ends. Desk assignments. Mine is awesome. A few days pass I'm told by manager to ask female assistant manager or married sup whose wife works there questions. My sup is single, and well nice to me but not realy the others out of training. I recently found out a few years older, really thought he was younger. Also learned mgr and trainer attended same high school. Really explains a lot to me.

 

I was overwhelmed one day. Next day all my training group had same card, hand written and signed by managers left on our desk. Telling us it gets better. Tough at first. Coworker whose been there a year says she didn't get a card and has never seen it happen before.

 

So trainer really does have a thing for me it seems though he's laying low until I learn the job I suppose. But he's involved with someone. Lately he avoids me however manager and supervisor are watching who I talk to in a major way. As in they are breaking up my conversations in an unusual way.

 

Anyway I worry about life after being flavor of the week.

[Kristine]

Well I still like my job and that is going well. But he basically has become non existent in my world. I see him around but he doesn't even say Hi now. Once I ran into him and he asked how things were going? I responded.

 

Also I am going through a health issue similar to last year's. Waiting on insurance to have resolution. Have a court thing coming up next month as well. None of the other training classes were treated like me, no one. I don't get this at all.

 

He's also making it known that he's taking vacation time. We had a meeting in his training room rather than the conference room, where it was announced he was out of town. He's leaving yet again next week. Training class is complaining their class is shorter than usual. He will walk by my desk say nothing. Was lurking when another manager was asking me about the job. My back was turned didn't notice him initially. I'm confused. I want to forget him and move on. I have another few guys interested actually. But I'm hooked and don't know why! He Is Making Me crazy.

[Kristine]

Got my answer tonight. Time to get with a man who actually wants me in his life. Why do I always fall for gamers?

[preraph]

Now, the first thing you said is there was role-play training. I honestly think they were testing you to see how you'd handle a coworker coming on to you, one who is already taken. There may be a reason you were singled out that isn't the best reason. They might be wondering about your boundaries at work.

 

If that wasn't part of the plan, then I can only assume he was saying he loved you in an offhand way and same with "you changed my life." Obviously, neither is really anything more than hyperbole, probably to pump the class up, because he has moved on.

[Kristine]

OK there's many more things. Whispering your beautiful in my ear one of many things he did. Was not a training thing. I don't list them too many to list. Too hard to explain in some cases. Training class people have said, we are so cute together. He's so in love with me, etc.

[Haydn]

I run training sessions (Not business)

 

I am always looking for new ideas.

 

Thanks.

[xxoo]

Got my answer tonight. Time to get with a man who actually wants me in his life. Why do I always fall for gamers?

 

When you see the bright red flags, what do you do?

[CarrieT]

He's so in love with me, etc.

Has he ever asked you on a proper date?

 

Have you ever interacted with him outside of work on a serious level that doesn't involve him play-acting?

[Kristine]

I was basically the latest game at work. Problem is he's so linked in for all I know he's best friends with the owner. Not an improbable thought really. Since I do like my job and I am doing a good job, I am going to go about my business and put my fantasy to rest. Anything he does or doesn't do I need to detach.

 

I am an open book type, also gullible ie easily played. No matter how I try to fight it the truth remains. Easily played. Well it may take a while but I finally caught on.

[NTV]

have you considered journaling? you say that you're easily played, but that takes afterthought and self-knowledge to know. So maybe once you separate yourself from a situation you can write it down and think about it? kinda like giving yourself lessons?

[preraph]

^ I agree with the journaling idea. I always journaled and was able to go back and see patterns of things I'd do that made things fall apart.