Second chance story..

[coin]

Hello,

Iv been with my gf for 5 years together.

We are each oder first loves.

So she break up with me before 1 year, we been broken for 9 months.

After that i chased her cca 3-4 months but nothing helped.

So i go to nc and she contacted me 9 months after our break up.

Reason for breakup was that she was not happy anymore in our rs, she felt that we are not connected how we should be, and that she want to be most connected with me and relaxed but that she cant.

So after 9 months we get together again.

We make some growing stuff, but the problem stays the same, we somehow cant be relaxed with each other, we have some anxiety when we are together.

And we are unhappy because of this.

 

So the reason why we breakup is still here, we love each other but cant be best versions of ourselfs when we are together. Our comunication is suffering, we feel sometimes anxiety when together.

 

One day we are relaxed, another day we are not..

Does someone have simmilar experiences, please tell me what to do, some advice how to preveale this?

 

Thanks!

[bummer]

Try understanding where the anxiety comes from when you are together. Is it jealousy? Intimacy issues? General anxiety?

 

Make yourself happy and make sure she's happy with herself before starting a relationship. Two ships still under construction won't sail well. Make yourself less anxious without her and then you two can work on each other more effectively.

 

Sometimes good relationships run their course and its time to accept the end and work on being better for the next.

[TheFox]

As an old sufferer of anxiety I was told the route problem was insecurity; being insecure with your situation and who you are as a person. One must first love thyself before loving another.

 

The break up could have perhaps strained this. In situations of anxiety you need to simply think to yourself if you are being irrational or not. In a situation when you are both anxious, communication is key. I see that you have mentioned that you struggle with communication - however hard this is, one needs to bite the bullet and sit down and have a chat with their partner and be open and honest with your feelings.

 

As mentioned, try to understand the route cause of your anxiety. It may take some time but training yourself to take a step back and logically evaluate the situation can go miles.

 

Keep your head up. Second chances don't come often, remember to love yourself first.