Chloeiris Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 My husband is 21. He cheated on me with one girl at the beginning of our relationship. Then 5 months into marriage, he had an 8 month affair with a co-worker. He says this is how the story goes: She approached him and gave him her number. (She is married too, btw). In October of 2014. He threw it away after telling her thank you. She came back to him a couple days later and asked why he had not messaged or called. He told her, "I am interested, but i have a wife." She told him there was a way around that, to chat on Words with Friends game." They started "sexting" every day and night and he says it lasted until sometime around when we found out I was pregnant with our first child. He said they would meet up about 1 to 2 times a week, for 10 to 15 min at a time only, behind the store, and kiss, hold hands, grope over clothing only and he swears they never had sex. So this went on for 8 months. Sexting and their 1-2 times a week 10-15 min make out fests. The other girl is the one who told me through facebook, a year after it ended! My husband started off telling me that it was just a couple of kisses...then it was only about 3 weeks....then, after a month of trickle truth, the rest of that came out. He admitted that he thought she was prettier and thinner than me, he says nothing was lacking in our marriage, he just liked the attention he got from her and he had no intentions of ending it. He admits to thinking of her when he was having sex with me at that time. He admits to telling her he wished he was with her, even during our holidays with family and anniversary. While the festivities were going on! One thing he had promised me was that he SWORE she ended it before he found out I was pregnant with our son, but He FAILED that polygraph question. Now he says he cant remember. He has now maintained that he cannot remember 90% of what they said to each other, or if they sent naked photos, or if he put his hand down her pants, or if she was in his truck. The polygraph question he failed was "Did you have sexual contact with ****** after finding out your wife was pregnant? He said no and failed. HE claims its because now he is just not sure if it was right before or right after. He has even gone as far as to blame his PTSD from losing his dad to suicide 7 years ago. He can remember everything else, except the answers i ask about the affair! Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I think he has found a clever way to lie. Why would the OW tell you a whole year after the affair ended to tell you. Did she corroborate his timeline? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 He's lying his ass off, and I hope you're not believing a word of this nonsense. You're a young woman. Don't waste a moment more of your youth on this chump. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Errrr....... I suspect a lie of sorts..... I still think the `Playing Snooker` Alibi is better. Leave this bloke. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
EverySunset Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Amnesia huh. Wayward partners almost always lie about anything that can't come out and prove they lied. I've heard a lot of weak excuses from my XWH, and here on LS. But your husband is perhaps the weakest yet. He failed the polygraph. What you need to do now is focus on what you can control, in other words, what to do with the answers you know. Don't wait for him to admit. Focus on what you will do next. I send you strength, mama. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 My wife has a practically photographic memory....EXCEPT when it comes to affair related stuff. Then, all of a sudden she becomes Ronald Reagan and can't remember whether she was dressed, or naked, or having sex or making soup. I dealt with that for a little while and just told her that I was leaving.....wait...actually what I told her was that SHE was leaving. All of a sudden her temporary amnesia was replaced with a laser accurate memory again. Dude is full of it. Completely bursting at the seams with bull****. You're both too young to get through this in the only way it actually works, which is complete truth, transparency, vulnerability, and maturity. Move on. Or....you can learn the hard way. good luck. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 My husband is 21. He cheated on me with one girl at the beginning of our relationship. Then 5 months into marriage, he had an 8 month affair with a co-worker. He says this is how the story goes: She approached him and gave him her number. (She is married too, btw). In October of 2014. He threw it away after telling her thank you. She came back to him a couple days later and asked why he had not messaged or called. He told her, "I am interested, but i have a wife." She told him there was a way around that, to chat on Words with Friends game." They started "sexting" every day and night and he says it lasted until sometime around when we found out I was pregnant with our first child. He said they would meet up about 1 to 2 times a week, for 10 to 15 min at a time only, behind the store, and kiss, hold hands, grope over clothing only and he swears they never had sex. So this went on for 8 months. Sexting and their 1-2 times a week 10-15 min make out fests. The other girl is the one who told me through facebook, a year after it ended! My husband started off telling me that it was just a couple of kisses...then it was only about 3 weeks....then, after a month of trickle truth, the rest of that came out. He admitted that he thought she was prettier and thinner than me, he says nothing was lacking in our marriage, he just liked the attention he got from her and he had no intentions of ending it. He admits to thinking of her when he was having sex with me at that time. He admits to telling her he wished he was with her, even during our holidays with family and anniversary. While the festivities were going on! One thing he had promised me was that he SWORE she ended it before he found out I was pregnant with our son, but He FAILED that polygraph question. Now he says he cant remember. He has now maintained that he cannot remember 90% of what they said to each other, or if they sent naked photos, or if he put his hand down her pants, or if she was in his truck. The polygraph question he failed was "Did you have sexual contact with ****** after finding out your wife was pregnant? He said no and failed. HE claims its because now he is just not sure if it was right before or right after. He has even gone as far as to blame his PTSD from losing his dad to suicide 7 years ago. He can remember everything else, except the answers i ask about the affair! Thoughts? Never mind what WE think...what do YOU think about this cockamamie story? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chloeiris Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 Never mind what WE think...what do YOU think about this cockamamie story? I think he is lying and wont stop! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I think he is lying and wont stop! I doubt if you'll get any disagreement here, so the question becomes: what are you going to do? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 How did you get access to a polygraph test? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chloeiris Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 How did you get access to a polygraph test? I was sent the results by the polygrapher. He also called me. Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Hugs to you (((ChloeIris))) He's 21? That's awfully young, especially for a guy. Sadly, I don't think he's mature enough yet to commit to marriage in the proper way. How old are you, ChloeIris? The extent of his crazy antics and lies are another indicator of his immaturity. There's no getting round it - he's got a lot of growing up to do. Question is, does he love and respect you enough to out the work into doing that now? Also, are you willing to give him another chance and help him grow up, assuming that he has been unfaithful? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I was sent the results by the polygrapher. He also called me. How did this come about? I am just curious. You found out he was cheating and went and ordered a test, or? I have been through infidelity - but I just couldn't imagine ordering a test. It seems like if you are having to bring in experts to see if your spouse is lying, things are pretty far gone. How old were the two of you when you married? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I think he is lying and wont stop! I think you are correct, he is NOT husband material, he is just a young man with a sweet tooth in a candy store - he just can't say no. The details do not really matter, he is not to be trusted full stop. You can spend your life as the unhappy cheated on wife who makes excuse after excuse for her wayward husband, and lives a life of misery, because "she loves him" or you can find a better man to give all that love and attention to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chloeiris Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 How did this come about? I am just curious. You found out he was cheating and went and ordered a test, or? I have been through infidelity - but I just couldn't imagine ordering a test. It seems like if you are having to bring in experts to see if your spouse is lying, things are pretty far gone. How old were the two of you when you married? He is 21 and i am 31 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chloeiris Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 How did this come about? I am just curious. You found out he was cheating and went and ordered a test, or? I have been through infidelity - but I just couldn't imagine ordering a test. It seems like if you are having to bring in experts to see if your spouse is lying, things are pretty far gone. How old were the two of you when you married? Also, yes, we went to a polygraph specialist and he took a polygraph test. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Men always remember who they had sex with - that's something they don't just forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 He is 21 and i am 31 This is about different life stages, you are ready for commitment and marriage and babies, and he is still at the stage where if it is female and it moves it is fair game. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Oh good lord..please, PLEASE dump this loser! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 If I were you I would be calling the Guinness people, you have a first that should be noted in their "Book Of Records." My dear lady, your just 21 and you are married to a man that has already cheated on you twice. I don't give your marriage a lot of hope that infidelity won't happen again over the next 60 years. It takes a lot of planning to carry off a 5 month affair with a married woman. A lot of people need to be deceived just to make it happen, amnesia, memory loss, sure, must be traumatic putting your penis in a married woman. You have to wonder why he went back again and again over the next 5 months, maybe he did forget! First thing to do is tell the other betrayed spouse so he can get tested for STD's. He may want to give his kids a DNA test too. You are young, don't waste any more time then you already have on a guy that may forget he's married. Talk to a lawyer, protect yourself, make sure you and your child are taken care of financially. You can do better than this. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 My dear lady, your just 21 and you are married to a man that has already cheated on you twice. The OP is 31, her cheating husband is 21. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 The OP is 31, her cheating husband is 21. Even more reason not to waste anymore time. Talk to a lawyer, tell the other betrayed spouse. Your in for a world of hurt with this one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Wayward Husband claims amnesia and PTSD with 8 month affair And I have a bridge to sell you... Seriously sweetie there is so much cr@p coming out of his mouth it's a wonder his @r$eho£e isn't getting jealous. Please leave this sad excuse for a man and move on. Good luck. x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I am sorry you are in this position...but I am with the others here. He is lying ..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 He said they would meet up about 1 to 2 times a week, for 10 to 15 min at a time only, behind the store, and kiss, hold hands, grope over clothing only and he swears they never had sex. I had these kinds of interactions with girls when I was 12. Adults don't have long-term "make out" sessions... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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