It broke my heart to see this!

[Opium]

Last night eating dinner with my bf/fiance, I hear a family sitting next to us having very loud conversations about leaving food on the plate, not eating with your fingers, and so on and so on. It was a mother and a father with their three children. Which I thought was nice that they were teaching them manners.

 

So I go on and mind my own business with my bf and we start talking about kids and marriage. It was a very nice conversation and it opened up my eyes to a lot of things I feel I'm ready for and could eventually want.

 

Now, doing this whole wonderful moment all of a sudden I hear from the family sitting next to us is, "Eat you're not finished"! "Don't you leave food on that plate"! Then------WAM!!!

 

The mother smaks her little girl right across the face because she was FULL and couldn't eat anymore! The mother was screaming "do you know how many hungry children are out their, this is expensive"??!! I couldn't believe this lady. All you hear is the little girl saying "but mommy I'm full, my tummy hurts"! Poor little girl, she looked blushed and was about to throw up all the food her mother was trying to force down her throat. The father, quite as can be!

 

Now, I know it's none of my business how others raise their children but come on, the poor little girl couldn't eat anymore. I wouldn't force my child to eat if she was full and looked sick to her stomach! Would you force your child to eat like that?? I just couldn't believe my eyes.

[LittleMiss]

I was just thinking about posting something similar to this. I think that's horrible that she hit the girl like that. If she had been eating her food and got full then leave her alone. I eat till I'm full and I wouldn't expect my son to eat everything on his plate if he was already full. However, there are times when he will not eat, but yet he's asking over and over again for milk or chocolate milk. In that situation I will not give him anything until he at least attempts to eat his dinner.

[Opium]

Originally posted by gtab

I was just thinking about posting something similar to this. I think that's horrible that she hit the girl like that. If she had been eating her food and got full then leave her alone. I eat till I'm full and I wouldn't expect my son to eat everything on his plate if he was already full. However, there are times when he will not eat, but yet he's asking over and over again for milk or chocolate milk. In that situation I will not give him anything until he at least attempts to eat his dinner.

 

That is perfectly acceptable, not giving your son anything else because he won't eat his dinner, I wouldn't give him a cookie either unless he ate his food. But I think it was just a little to much for the mother to slap a little girl who's crying to her with her hands on her tummy that she's full, that to me is unbelievable.

[LittleMiss]

Yes that is very wrong. To top it off she did it in public and embarrased their family.

[Opium]

Can you imagine what goes on at home?

[d'Arthez]

I fear the issue was not so much with eating but with the fact that the money spent on the food was wasted. And that is a crime to some people. We all know the devastating effects this will have on the kid in all probability. Chances are high that the two dollars saved in this way will turn into tens of thousands of dollars in bills for therapy.

[tiki]

She slapped her? Whoa, nelly. That's so wrong.

 

My son does the tummy ache thing all the time...lol. He's a small child, weighing in at thirty pounds and almost five years old. He is not an eater, that's for sure. But let him get away with something once, and he's on it forever. He does pull the tummy ache crap all the time. I have him eat a reasonable amount, or else he'd probably be 15 pounds.

[laRubiaBonita]

It is one thing to act cruel at home, in private....but doing something like that in public, Just shows the lack of self-respect this "mother" had.

 

This is how eating disorders are instilled

[d'Arthez]

The whole distinction private-public is dubious. Idiotic behavior is even worse in a private sphere, as the kid will come to think that the idiotic behavior of her mom is normal. And it is insane that parents are allowed to torment their children at home, because they are the parents.

[Opium]

TIKI,

 

I do agree with you that some kids pull that little trick to get out of eating, but this little girl had eaten so much already, she was eating spaghetti and you know how full you can get eating pasta!

 

Her face was so blushed and she had that sick look on her face, poor little one. I swear I wanted to go up to the mother and shove all her food in her mouth at once to see how she would like it. I wish sometimes we "could" get into other's people's business, at least to show them something, but these type of people probably don't care.

 

You guy's are right, that's how some disorders start, I never thought about that. Man I wonder if I should have said something?

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

The whole distinction private-public is dubious. Idiotic behavior is even worse in a private sphere, as the kid will come to think that the idiotic behavior of her mom is normal. And it is insane that parents are allowed to torment their children at home, because they are the parents.

 

Well duh....but at least it is not so public when it is done in private.( ).

 

and who goes and checks that all parents are responsible, nurturing, support systems?

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by Opium

TIKI,

 

I do agree with you that some kids pull that little trick to get out of eating, but this little girl had eaten so much already, she was eating spaghetti and you know how full you can get eating pasta!

 

Her face was so blushed and she had that sick look on her face, poor little one. I swear I wanted to go up to the mother and shove all her food in her mouth at once to see how she would like it. I wish sometimes we "could" get into other's people's business, at least to show them something, but these type of people probably don't care.

 

You guy's are right, that's how some disorders start, I never thought about that. Man I wonder if I should have said something?

You probably would have gotten slapped too!

 

But, if you are doing that crap in public, you are pratically inviting comments.

[d'Arthez]

I don't know about the US laRubiaBonita, but in various European countries this disciplining method is actually forbidden by law.

 

Of course that does not prevent mal-parenting. What you would need for that is general enlightenment. That does not seem to be forthcoming.

[tiki]

Yes, either way, it's wrong. I almost wish you would've said something to her.

 

And I agree, it can make a child overeat (and clean his plate) like a mofo. What's so wrong about stopping eating when you are full? NOTHING! And have people never heard of 'to go boxes'?!

 

I do remember my mom when I was younger, if I ordered a coke, she'd make me drink it. Not just a sip or two, but the whole fam would sit there while I attempted to finish it. I rarely drink. I sip on a drink all day long, if I drink at all.

 

I'm just pissed the woman slapped her across the face. Did the Dad say anything?

[Opium]

I'm just pissed the woman slapped her across the face. Did the Dad say anything?

 

NOTHING, all he did was smerk and kept on eating. I couldn't believe it, I was shocked, I mean I understand their are starving children who don't get a hot meal everyday but if your child is dying and is all red in the face grabbing her tummy saying "my tummy hurts" I would be like ok, don't worry you ate enough, or something to that extent.

 

You probably would have gotten slapped too!

 

That would have meant war!!

[Mz. Pixie]

Okay, I've got tears running down my face.

 

I've been that little girl, slapped in the face by my mother- in a store or wherever the moment struck her. Just thinking about it now, when I'm over 35 and my mother is long gone, makes me almost violently ill..........

 

People, when you are dealing with your children you just don't know what kind of damage you can cause............

 

I don't push the food issue with my kids- I swore I would never do this and I never have. I don't let them blow off dinner for cookies but I don't force them to clean their plates if they are full or to eat something they don't like. I believe that can cause obesity and food issues.

 

I have memories of my stepfather making me sit at the dinner table for six hours once because I didn't clean my plate- the food was cold and he still made me try to eat it and I vomited.

 

That was child abuse, pure and simple.

[lindya]

Unfortunately, some otherwise very good parents have lost the rag occasionally and slapped their children. It's never something to be condoned, and in the context you described it's very disturbing for all the reasons other posters have mentioned.

 

I'd contact the police or local social work department about this (they may well be able to get the family's details from the restaurant). It might be a one-off incident, but that's for them to investigate - and the way you described it, it certainly sounds like a child protection issue.

 

A visit and a few searching questions from police/social workers would probably come to nothing - but might be enough to give this mother the wake up call she evidently needs with regard to her parenting. Also, the social workers would probably contact the child's school to let them know a concern had been raised...then they would be more alert to any signs of all not being well at home.

 

I'll probably get flamed for mentioning social workers and giving OTT advice, but that's the action I'd take. That mother needs a clear message that her behaviour in the restaurant was abusive and inappropriate. I doubt a few stern looks from fellow diners would be enough to give her that message.

[Opium]

Originally posted by Mz. Pixie

Okay, I've got tears running down my face.

 

I've been that little girl, slapped in the face by my mother- in a store or wherever the moment struck her. Just thinking about it now, when I'm over 35 and my mother is long gone, makes me almost violently ill..........

 

People, when you are dealing with your children you just don't know what kind of damage you can cause............

 

I don't push the food issue with my kids- I swore I would never do this and I never have. I don't let them blow off dinner for cookies but I don't force them to clean their plates if they are full or to eat something they don't like. I believe that can cause obesity and food issues.

 

I have memories of my stepfather making me sit at the dinner table for six hours once because I didn't clean my plate- the food was cold and he still made me try to eat it and I vomited.

 

That was child abuse, pure and simple.

 

That's so sad to here, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine what's going through that little girls head when her mother is screaming at her, especially out in public. Beats me how some people can call themselves good parents.

 

I never thought about it that way, kids who have to go through this abuse do grow up to have an eating disorder, it's crazy, society already has a pressure on kids on how they should look and act. So sad so sad!

[Craig]

Originally posted by Opium

The mother smaks her little girl right across the face because she was FULL and couldn't eat anymore! The mother was screaming "do you know how many hungry children are out their, this is expensive"??!!

Opium, don't beat yourself up for not saying or doing something, everyone has their own comfort level.

 

I can't stand for violence toward any person and would have dialed 911 and got the cops involved. Call me an over reacting fool but I can only do what I can do legally. Maybe the egg donor would have been arrested or maybe not but it could have been a wake up call to her that slapping her daughter across the face is not accepted by everyone.

 

Too bad the mother didn't consider using a doggy bag for the leftovers.

[curiousnycgirl]

I agree with every outrage on this thread. however I NEED to lighten the mood.

 

When my brother was very young, probably 4, we went to a very fancy NYC restaurant for lunch, the day before I left for the summer (I am 10 years older). The poor boy said he wasn't hungry - but my father ordered him a hamburger. Of course he didn't want to eat it - but my father made him eat every bite.

 

Sure as sh*t not 5 minutes after that last bite, my brother looked up and said he didn't fee so well. He made it about 4 steps toward the bathroom and barfed all over the place!!! It was totally hillalrious but of course very embarrassing.

 

Needess to say we never went back to that restaurant!