Ex-Best Friend trying to get in touch

[shorty1988m]

I met my best friend on our first day at college and from then we became pretty close friends. As guys we've shared a lot and pretty much know each other inside out. We shared a flat on our second year in college and our careers have pretty much mirrored the others. We both work world travelling jobs so we rarely seen each other for most of the year and barely kept in touch online but whenever our schedules matched up we hung out and were best pals again. We returned to college at the same time to advance our careers and this is where the problem lay.

 

We returned to college, had an intensive 3 month course and then left and waited for results. I passed, he failed. I commiserated, he said congrats but obviously i didn't think bitterness would come into play. I had quit a job to be there and he had an amazing one so nothing was lost and he'd repeat the test soon enough. He decided that he wasn't going to talk to me until he passed. Nothing i can really do about that but as its a limited test it could be 3 months or 3 years before we talked again. It turned out to be about 8 months and he text me saying he'd passed. I ignored it. I was pissed. I'm not really of the opinion you can just drop your friends like that. He tried a few more times on Facebook and sent a friend request (yeh he'd blocked me from everywhere during this time). I ignored them all. He went away for a about a year.

 

I got rid of Facebook months ago but he messaged my mum to ask for my phone number and then text me talking as if we only talked yesterday. Again, i ignored. I don't think explaining things will really make me feel any better

 

The thing that bothers me is over this time i never found a new job, my career is pretty much dead, i got into a depression, tried to kill myself and had a cancer scare and, as i had no real friends like him, i had no one to turn to. My best mate had ditched me when i needed him most because of some ****ing stupid test. A test that has done nothing for me.

 

Am i being stupid for ignoring him or is does this happen sometimes? We were good friends because of the fact we had the same morals of having very few friends we trust rather than multiple part time friends. At the minute I'm stuck on my own or have to have a friend i don't trust anymore. I don't know what I'm looking for from this, just a vent i guess.

[Offspring]

Give him another chance, you're both young, these things happen. In the meantime, move your life ahead, adopt a positive attitude, exercise etc, and try to develop new friendships.

 

In other words, do not put all your eggs in one basket, but wait to see what he's got to say.

[whichwayisup]

Talk it out with him. Maybe the friendship can be salvaged and you two can start again, clean slate. Lay it all out on the table, how you felt/feel and why.

[privategal]

I met my best friend on our first day at college and from then we became pretty close friends. As guys we've shared a lot and pretty much know each other inside out. We shared a flat on our second year in college and our careers have pretty much mirrored the others. We both work world travelling jobs so we rarely seen each other for most of the year and barely kept in touch online but whenever our schedules matched up we hung out and were best pals again. We returned to college at the same time to advance our careers and this is where the problem lay.

 

We returned to college, had an intensive 3 month course and then left and waited for results. I passed, he failed. I commiserated, he said congrats but obviously i didn't think bitterness would come into play. I had quit a job to be there and he had an amazing one so nothing was lost and he'd repeat the test soon enough. He decided that he wasn't going to talk to me until he passed. Nothing i can really do about that but as its a limited test it could be 3 months or 3 years before we talked again. It turned out to be about 8 months and he text me saying he'd passed. I ignored it. I was pissed. I'm not really of the opinion you can just drop your friends like that. He tried a few more times on Facebook and sent a friend request (yeh he'd blocked me from everywhere during this time). I ignored them all. He went away for a about a year.

 

I got rid of Facebook months ago but he messaged my mum to ask for my phone number and then text me talking as if we only talked yesterday. Again, i ignored. I don't think explaining things will really make me feel any better

 

The thing that bothers me is over this time i never found a new job, my career is pretty much dead, i got into a depression, tried to kill myself and had a cancer scare and, as i had no real friends like him, i had no one to turn to. My best mate had ditched me when i needed him most because of some ****ing stupid test. A test that has done nothing for me.

 

Am i being stupid for ignoring him or is does this happen sometimes? We were good friends because of the fact we had the same morals of having very few friends we trust rather than multiple part time friends. At the minute I'm stuck on my own or have to have a friend i don't trust anymore. I don't know what I'm looking for from this, just a vent i guess.

 

 

Your hurting yourself to hurt him.

Text him and meet up.

Tell him how you felt, see if its salvagable.

You've hung onto your pride long enough. Your both missing out.

[minimariah]

Am i being stupid for ignoring him...?

 

no.

 

dude ditched you because he didn't pass a test, blocked you all over the place & reaches out without so much as a sorry...? because NOW it's convenient for him to know you...? nawl.

 

it isn't hard to find someone better than him, trust me. keep him blocked & on ignore; he'll ditch you again as soon as the opportunity presents itself if you give him another chance to do so.

 

you made the right call.