how to handle when someone says you are in a bad mood but you arent?

[candy candy candy]

i am wondering how do you handle it when someone, say your significant other accusses you of being in a bad mood when in deed you are not? i was shocked today to hear my dh say the last two days i have been crabby! i was so shocked that i almost laughed but i was too mad to be laughing at anything at that moment and i have been cool towards him all day for saying that.

 

it started out like this: he has gotten this annoying habit of saying "WOMAN" to me and the tone he uses is like some arrogant a**h*** calling his woman to come and lick his boots, etc, lol, not funny though. i hate the tone he says it in and he says it is not inteneded in that tone but that i am too sensitive instead.

 

the other thing is that when he says something and i do not hear him he will say "you heard me" when indeed i have NOT heard him! we have been with each other for several years and these two annoying things have recentley cropped up and are annoying the heck out of me.

 

so today he did them both again! i elbowed him in the arm and that is what triggered the rest of it i guess. he didnt like that and said when he says "woman" he means it that i am his woman and i am taking it wrong and i again tried to tell him it is the tone he says it in.

 

so he said to me that he is sick and tired of my nitpicking!!! i pointed out to him that those are the only two things that i've nitpicked about so he has no right to say that. at the time we were going over a bridge and he said he is so tired of it all that he could just drive right off the bridge.

 

soafter he dropped me off at my car that was at the shop for a check up, i have been in a foul mood all day! i have talked very haltingly to him and he finally asked me what is wrong?? so i told him what he said this a.m. has not set well with me and his response was "are you still dwelling on that"? oh man if he was in front of me i would of smacked him then and there for belitting my feelngs or am i wrong?

 

anyways i am just mad that he thinks it is ok to say what the heck he wants to say and that it is not suppose to bother me or not for long anyways, i just dont get it.

[JPMorgan]

i am wondering how do you handle it when someone, say your significant other accusses you of being in a bad mood when in deed you are not? i was shocked today to hear my dh say the last two days i have been crabby! i was so shocked that i almost laughed but i was too mad to be laughing at anything at that moment and i have been cool towards him all day for saying that.

 

If you were so instantly mad at this comment, maybe you really have been on edge for the last couple of days and didn't realize it.

 

it started out like this: he has gotten this annoying habit of saying "WOMAN" to me and the tone he uses is like some arrogant a**h*** calling his woman to come and lick his boots, etc, lol, not funny though. i hate the tone he says it in and he says it is not inteneded in that tone but that i am too sensitive instead.

That would piss me off too. If it bothers you ask him to show enough respect and courtesy for you to stop calling you that. If he refuses and claims that you are too sensitive, tell him that its not a matter of your being sensitive, but of him being a royal SOB for not showing you any courtesy, then start calling him dickweed or something that will annoy him. If he complains use the same line back on him! (If he doesn't complain, you have not found the right word!)

 

the other thing is that when he says something and i do not hear him he will say "you heard me" when indeed i have NOT heard him! we have been with each other for several years and these two annoying things have recentley cropped up and are annoying the heck out of me.

These things you are talking about are control issues. If he does not trust you or believe you when you tell him that you did not hear him, then he has got some issues. Tell him that and tell him to stop mumbling.

 

so today he did them both again! i elbowed him in the arm and that is what triggered the rest of it i guess. he didnt like that and said when he says "woman" he means it that i am his woman and i am taking it wrong and i again tried to tell him it is the tone he says it in.

Oh! You HAVE found his trigger then---keep elbowing him and maybe someday it will click that he's irritating you for real and its not cute.

 

so he said to me that he is sick and tired of my nitpicking!!! i pointed out to him that those are the only two things that i've nitpicked about so he has no right to say that. at the time we were going over a bridge and he said he is so tired of it all that he could just drive right off the bridge.

Hmm, well--- "nitpick" followed by "I Pointed Out..." kinda cancel each other out. He has every right to tell you that he is sick of your nitpicking, just as you have every right to tell him to stuff it up his behind when he calls you "Woman". Sounds like both of you are really frustrated with each other. The names and the nitpicking are not the problem -- they are manifestations of a much deeper issue.

 

soafter he dropped me off at my car that was at the shop for a check up, i have been in a foul mood all day! i have talked very haltingly to him and he finally asked me what is wrong?? so i told him what he said this a.m. has not set well with me and his response was "are you still dwelling on that"? oh man if he was in front of me i would of smacked him then and there for belitting my feelngs or am i wrong?

You two need some coaching in communication. Maybe a therapist could help you both?

 

anyways i am just mad that he thinks it is ok to say what the heck he wants to say and that it is not suppose to bother me or not for long anyways, i just dont get it.

 

Ignore him

Laugh at him

Laugh with him

Nitpick 'till the cows come home

See a divorce lawyer

See a counselor

Move out and move on

Throw in the towel and be a doormat

Vent to friends and to loveshack

Put laxative in his brownies

Move into a separate room in your house and have nothing to do with him

Throw his stuff out and change the locks when he's away

 

 

The above are some of the options that I can see for you.

 

There are days when we sometimes just want to haul off and belt our loved ones, aren't there!

[candy candy candy]

LOL i know i know LOL

[SexKitten]

yeah that bugs me, too.

 

my boyfriend does the same thing. and when i say "um, honey, i'm really not in a bad mood" and he insists that i am, it PUTS me in a bad mood.

 

blargh.

[candy candy candy]

jp that was too hilarious! thanks so much for the humor and that really made my day! you know i was NOT in a bad mood at all and like sexkitten said that when he acusses me of being in a bad mood it did INDEED put me in a bad mood but only TOWARDS him and not others as that would NOT be fair to them.

 

yesterday evening my daughter and grand daughter were here and we had a blast i reminded him of that and he sais yeah after they left i got into a funky mood and he could 'feel it" like he can feel anything?

 

so i told him that after they left all i did was get on line for a short time and we watched t.v then went to bed. i cant imagine how he could think that at all! when i went off on him this a.m it was cause he was in a crabby ass mood and was hurring me out the door and if i ever ever hurry him maaaan he will snap at me like crazy.

 

i told him too that it is his own reflection of his bad mood that he is seeing and not mine at all. he responded with a hmmmm and that was that. yea locking him out sounds like a great idea at times but he does pay the mortgage, lol.

 

i'll just keeping jabbing and i like dickweed at the moment it suits him just fine, lolololol.

[bicyclejunk]

sex kitten-

 

i think i do the same exact thing to my GF. She can get moody at

times, but sometimes she's just tired and/or bored, and I mistake

it for being MAD. So i'll keep asking what's wrong, and it pisses

her off that I won't take her word, that she's FINE, just tired or

whatever.