frus69 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 So, I had a message off Lucy earlier. (She knows that i posted this stuff on here, as I was with her when I first posted) And she asked me what the replies were, so i sent her a link. She asked me to post this here. [23:16, 9/6/2016] Lucy: As for why am I still marrying? Oh wouldn't it be a lovely world if we could all go to our parents and discuss our life problems reasonably the way were supposed to be able to eh? shame some of us were so heavily abused by our parents we fear more living with them than living in a doomed relationship. Fearing losing them for your "wrong" decisions despite how much you despise them because they're all you know... Hey ho. I guess the world will never learn ... [23:17, 9/6/2016]*Me:*Well i knew that already, and it sucks.. [23:17, 9/6/2016]*Lucy:*And not just losing them but 99% of the life you built outside of them and your entire security against them ... sigh Oh great she's marrying him. So what's the point of your post? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Is there a reason why Lucy can't live on her own? Like an independent adult? Why must she live at home or go off to a bad marriage? This isn't the eighteen hundreds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unloved_Rainbow Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Lucy put £30,000 down as a deposit for the mortgage, she's in uni and the bank wouldn't give them a mortgage if her name was on the mortgage, because of the fact she was at uni. So it is all in John's name. So really, all of her finances are gone, and she no longer has any means to pay for anywhere else. As I said in my original post, I posted this, if for nothing else, to get it off my chest. I really only expected negative replies, if anything. I don't have anyone else to talk to this stuff about, as my only friends really are Lucy and John. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 So she basically dug a very deep hole for herself. Wow. I hate to say it but that was an all-time dumb move. It's still not reason enough to marry the guy but whatever. Then again, maybe if she marries then divorces him, she might have a shot of salvaging this mess and getting some of her money back, if not all of it -- depending on the laws in the UK. But none of that is going to happen quickly. They'll marry, and then make one another miserable for several years before deciding that all the pain and misery isn't worth it. Despite her extremely poor judgment with men and money, I'm really sad for you. No matter what the reason, it hurts to lose someone we love. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unloved_Rainbow Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 So she basically dug a very deep hole for herself. Wow. I hate to say it but that was an all-time dumb move. It's still not reason enough to marry the guy but whatever. Then again, maybe if she marries then divorces him, she might have a shot of salvaging this mess and getting some of her money back, if not all of it -- depending on the laws in the UK. But none of that is going to happen quickly. They'll marry, and then make one another miserable for several years before deciding that all the pain and misery isn't worth it. Despite her extremely poor judgment with men and money, I'm really sad for you. No matter what the reason, it hurts to lose someone we love. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. You're pretty much right there. At the time the only way to get the house they wanted, she was really the only one with any savings, so put the money down herself. She obviously had no reason to think that things would end up the way they currently are, which in itself sucks. I really don't know what her plans are, for all i know they may end up married forever, they may only be married for 3 months. But that's upto them, really. I'm unsure on what her legal standing would actually be when it comes to a divorce and money, i've never had to look into it, but from my understanding, she would get half of everything. I appreciate your sentiment and hopefully before long I will be okay. My psychiatrist is going to love this one, that's for sure. I just wish sometimes that i didn't tell her my feelings when she told me hers Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 They are not even married yet. A lot can change in a month. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 I don't have anyone else to talk to this stuff about, as my only friends really are Lucy and John. Lets be honest, you have 1 freind. If John knew the real truth, would he consider you a freind? I am sure you could justify why you still consider John a freind, but even though you know your in the wrong, you still maintain intimate contact with your "freinds" fiancee. Step outside of your delusional box for a moment and see yourself 10 years down the line. About to be married and your fiancee and your "freind" were carrying on the way you have. Would this guy be your freind? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 You're pretty much right there. At the time the only way to get the house they wanted, she was really the only one with any savings, so put the money down herself. She obviously had no reason to think that things would end up the way they currently are, which in itself sucks. I really don't know what her plans are, for all i know they may end up married forever, they may only be married for 3 months. But that's upto them, really. I'm unsure on what her legal standing would actually be when it comes to a divorce and money, i've never had to look into it, but from my understanding, she would get half of everything. I appreciate your sentiment and hopefully before long I will be okay. My psychiatrist is going to love this one, that's for sure. I just wish sometimes that i didn't tell her my feelings when she told me hers It doesn't matter if she could foresee how things would work out or not. The point is, you NEVER invest your money with a person you're only dating. That's a very basic rule. If it all falls apart, you have no recourse. As she has now discovered. I knew someone who made her BF a beneficiary on her life insurance -- and told him about it. They broke up shortly after that and she was hospitalized for some mysterious illness that nearly killed her. Not a bright move. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 She can still be on the mortgage as a joint owner of the house being I'm Uni. Unless her credit score is really bad. It all sounds a terrible mess. I predict affairs and divorce for the couple. Link to post Share on other sites
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