VeveCakes Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Liking someone for the attention they give you and the fact they are good looking only IS shallow. That's what you said a few times. You are trying to read the mind of someone you have never met. They might not even exist... waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chumly Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 Liking someone for the attention they give you and the fact they are good looking only IS shallow. That's what you said a few times. You are trying to read the mind of someone you have never met. They might not even exist... waste of time. NO offense but I am going to have to respectfully disagree with this... i think it is natural to like attention and enjoy having a nice looking person have an interest in you. We all do that. The difference though is when that is the ONLY type of people that you are interested in. I respond to EVERYONE who messages me on the dating site..whether they are fat, skinny, attractive, non attractive, etc. I try to find someone that I can connect with emotionally and that share common interests. I try not to allow looks to sway my views on a person. This man on the other hand posed as someone that shared my interests but it became apparent that he did not. he claimed that looks were unimportant to him but yet when he talked about the ladies he had dated he almost only talked about their looks and how they compared to each other. I wanted to believe that he was who he originally claimed to be so i kept giving him the benefit of the doubt. I also liked the idea of getting hugs and kisses from him. When I said I realized that he was ONLY good looking and complimentary I was trying to see the reality of him. I very much wanted to believe that he was who he claimed to be and that fantasy of him is what I miss and got addicted to...not the reality. My interest in him was based on a lie. If I was so interested in him I would go and meet him right now since he keeps messaging me to meet him. I miss my fantasy of him so i dont think any of this makes me shallow, I mean We all have a shallow side but I try not to cave into it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author chumly Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 My guess is he really doesn't want to meet you but senses you are pulling away, and misses the attention.... so tells you what you want to hear in order to get you fawning all over him again... He's a scammer.... probably doing the same thing to 20 other women he met on the internet too... Probably married or in a RL and bored. Thanks for the respopnse. normally I would say this might be true but he keeps messaging me to meet him. He told me he is available anytime and will meet me anywhere. He seems very sincere about meeting me. My guess is that he wants to satisfy his curiosity only at this point.I agree that he might do this with 20 other women. Thanks again;) Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) Thanks for the respopnse. normally I would say this might be true but he keeps messaging me to meet him. He told me he is available anytime and will meet me anywhere. He seems very sincere about meeting me. My guess is that he wants to satisfy his curiosity only at this point.I agree that he might do this with 20 other women. Thanks again;) Some guys just want to know you *will* go out with them, even when they have no intention or even desire to go out with you. Once you say yes and will go out, they either back off or ghost completely. Or make a date and break it... I could be wrong but this guy sounds like such a scammer, that it would not surprise me if he were one of these guys. As soon as you agree to meet him, he will either back off again or make a date then break it coming up with some elaborate reason why he can make it. Do not trust him! Move on! Again, block delete next. Why can't you do this, I don get it. And contrary to what you said about attention, no not all women enjoy the attention from a guy cuz he is nice looking , etc. For me, and many women I know, I only enjoy attention from a man when I am interested in him, and I know via his actions he is interested in me and wants to date me. And since I do not become interested in scammers like this bozo....no I would not want attention from him no matter how gorgeous or successful he was.... Edited June 18, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Author chumly Posted June 18, 2016 Author Share Posted June 18, 2016 katiegrl...thanks for the response. believe me, i have moved on!! I actually moved on a week ago. i have a date with someone next week that i had talked to before i even met this guy. at this point i am just wondering what he is really wanting, not because I am interested but because i am just curious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 katiegrl...thanks for the response. believe me, i have moved on!! I actually moved on a week ago. i have a date with someone next week that i had talked to before i even met this guy. at this point i am just wondering what he is really wanting, not because I am interested but because i am just curious. Okay fair enough hun, I am glad you are moving on! As for this jerk, well I hope you don't spend much more time or energy wondering, you will never figure it out ..... and he is not, or shouldn't be, worth all this energy you are expending, in your head, or on this thread...... Have fun on your date with new guy!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chumly Posted June 19, 2016 Author Share Posted June 19, 2016 thanks Katiegrl...i expect i will have a nice time with him. we are meeting as friends ..which is exactly how we both prefer to do things.He seen my videos and liked them and we have so much in common so at the very least I think I will have a new friend with common interests and I am really excited about that idea!! and as far as the other man...you are right. I will probably never know what he is really after. I just know not to buy into the lovey dovey talk too quickly anymore. I think the only reason I liked all the attention so much is because I am really not used to it. I am so glad I am seeing the reality of the situation now though. Thanks so much:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chumly Posted June 19, 2016 Author Share Posted June 19, 2016 just wanted to also add that for me I think it was the feeling of rejection based on viewing my videos that hurt the most! I still have difficulty with that and even understanding it. I guess I knew me and that man were not right for each other but I just did not understand what he found so bad about my videos. Like i said, most people who liked my pics liked my videos. in fact, i actually think i look alot better in my videos then my pics and others have told me that too. and then to top it off he loved a pic of me that was just average at best!! i thought it was one of my least attractive pics but yet he was in love with it. of course asking him would do no good because he would just deny it but I just dont understand what he found so bad about those videos of me. i know i will eventually forget about this and feel good about myself again but that rejection still hurts at the time:( Link to post Share on other sites
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