Is this woman interested?

[The_Dork_Lard]

I'm crap at reading signals from women. I mean, really crap. I'm one of those men that need women to fling themselves at me and make it so unequivocal and explicit for me to even consider doing anything about it. Though this happened in my teens and 20s, obviously getting into my late 30s means this happens roughly 0% these days, so I've got to change my ways, or 'up my game' as some might say. Fair enough, I've had it easy until the last few years.

 

Anyway, I've currently got a situation going on and I need some perspective. I've been using a nearby cafe about once per week, and have been doing so for a few months, so I'm not a longstanding daily customer. A woman about 10 years my senior (I'm 37, she's about 47-50ish) works on the till, and I think she's gorgeous. From the start I always put a vibe out by the way I used my eyes, and I *think* it's reciprocated, but I'm not sure. Here's a list of the things she's done:

 

• Makes smiley eye contact about half the time
  
• I catch her looking in my direction often, even though I don't look in hers that often. When I catch her looking, she looks away quickly.
  
• When I'm sat eating she regularly does things on the tables around me, such as filling up sugar caddies, or wiping windows, and stuff like that - very often in close(ish) proximity to me.
  
• I swear I heard a wolf whistle come from the direction of her and her work colleague as I left one day, but I'm not sure if it was. Perhaps it was the door squeaking!
  
• Not so long ago she gave me my change, and cupped my whole hand with the soft underside of hers as she placed my change into my palm. This is something I never experience elsewhere. She's done that 3 times now, all in the last month. It's only a small thing, but it sets me on fire.
  
• She's made one or two teasing, bantering comments my way, and I often quip back with lots of positive energy.
  
• A few weeks ago she voluntarily told me where she was going that night and we had a short chat about the venue. Then, 10 minutes later made a point of coming to my table to tell me she wasn't going there anymore because of an unforeseen circumstance. She then named the pub she was going to instead. A few minutes later her colleague said quite loudly to her "We'll be meeting in the [name of pub] at 7pm". I felt this may have been said for my benefit... but I dunno.
  
• The last time I went in there I arrived about 3 hours earlier than the time I normally go in. She said "hello, you're early today" so I volunteered some information about my life, and why I normally come in later. It communicated to me she has noticed my timings.
  
• As I left the cafe on my last visit I looked over, as I always do, and said "thanks, bye", and she gave me a little wink as she said bye. It's this wink that's making me feel she's probably interested, as she's not done that before.
  

 

The thing is, she's a little difficult to engage in conversation, I don't get too much back from her in that way, and often I don't know what to say. As a result we hardly get past my food order, or comments on how busy the cafe is. She's not always smiley, and doesn't always look me in the eye, often looking away quickly. Her behaviours aren't 100% consistent, and I don't instinctively feel we've got anything in common. I'm naturally very introverted (please don't confuse this with shy), and she seems quite reserved. For me, it's a strong physical attraction, and I imagine something resembling a fling would suit me. Obviously I'd have to determine whether she'd be comfortable with it being just that - I doubt it, but I digress...

 

My question is, do the good people of LS think she's interested on any level? And please treat me gently lol, it might be screamingly obvious to some, or perhaps not, but I've struggled really bad my whole life to be certain on this particular phenomenon. She's creeping into my mind a lot now, and I admit, I feel half the reason I go there each week is to see her. The other staff would barely recognise me on the street because I have nothing to do with them, but she'd recognise me, I'm sure.

Edited June 8, 2016 by The_Dork_Lard

[SoThatHappened]

It's pretty simple. Ask her out.

[Lovelorn00]

A few weeks ago she voluntarily told me where she was going that night and we had a short chat about the venue. Then, 10 minutes later made a point of coming to my table to tell me she wasn't going there anymore because of an unforeseen circumstance. She then named the pub she was going to instead. A few minutes later her colleague said quite loudly to her "We'll be meeting in the [name of pub] at 7pm". I felt this may have been said for my benefit... but I dunno.

 

Out of all the items you listed, the above was the only item that struck me as a possible sign of interest. As a female who has worked in a retail environment before, the other items you listed just sound like she's being a friendly cashier/waitress. When I worked in this environment, it wasn't unusual for me to remember certain things about my customers, smile a lot, make conversation, ask questions. That's what I was trained to do. The fact that she gave you details about her plans that night makes me think there's something there.

 

Anyway, like the post above says, there's only one way to find out... ask her out!

[MGX]

It's pretty simple. Ask her out.

 

Agreed. Ask her out.

[Methodical]

With the detailed account you listed, you are interested. Sounds like she is too and has given subtle hints. At this point, it looks like you aren't taking the bait so her work colleagues have taken the bull by the horns and made it blatantly obvious. You have nothing to lose by asking her out.

[preraph]

She pretty much invited you to the place that night but then couldn't go sounds like. You can never be sure with people in customer service, of course. They all have to be nice. But since she mentioned that place once, do this: Next time you're in bring it up again. Say, Hey, you mentioned some place you liked to go. What was it, again? Then she'll say the name. Ask her where it is, etc. Then say, Well, next time you go, I'd love to tag along. I'll even buy you a drink.

[Bichunmoo]

I personally don't think she's interested. I went to a few bars everyday for bout 3 months when all I wanted to do was drink for some reason lol. And yeah the female bartenders are really nice and say stuff like that. Even wink at me at times, but I just saw it as them being friendly. Very hard to say. But the only real way you'll find out is to ask her out. OR try my magic trick. When you do catch eye contact. Give her the full body scan. Look her up and down and that should surely catch her interest. Isn't too full on, but definitely lets her know your interested without looking creepy. Works like a charm for me, especially in clubs.