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Could he still be interested?


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So me and my ex had a long distance relationship for 3 years, then I finally moved in with him for another 5 months. He was always very devoted to me and did everything he could to keep us going. We were crazy about each other. Before I moved in with him, we stayed 10 months apart. It was my first serious relationship, I was very inexperienced, immature, and I was struggling with that situation along other problems I was having, so I got depressed, possessive, easily annoyed, jealous, controlling, etc... I was never that way before. Things I didnt care before, I started caring then. We moved in together, but I stil hadnt quite got my s* together, and was too clingy and insecure. Although Id treat him bad sometimes, I showed him everyday that I really apreciated him and wouldnt leave his side for nothing (he was going through some big troubles then too). After 5 months living together, I had to go to my parents to solve some stuff, and he said he needed a break. I got desperate. I cried. He said we'd start over when I come back. So after I went to my parents, he got colder and then said he fell in love with someone else, and blamed it all on me. I did everything I shouldnt have. I begged, acted crazy, sent hateful and hopeful messages, but he kept saying he wanted to try it with this girl. After 2 months I stopped emailing him. The break up was in May/14.

 

So in April/15 I decided to get in touch. I sent an email basically saying "Hey, how are you? Me and a friend are travelling to your area, could you give us some tips on where to visit? Hope you're well". He replied twenty minutes later! He said "hey! i really wasnt expecting an email from you. How are you??? Im glad to hear from you! blablabal really nice to hear from you!". We then started catching up, and it went on until November. But he would reply after 3 days, 5, 7, 14, even a month. I always kept it cool. We never talked about us, and he only mentioned the girl once. He said "Im still with -girl-, we are living together and our relationship is going well. She ran away from home. Her parents are very religious and were forcing her to get married, and she had a horrible life and can never go back". I replied, "im glad its going well, I'm sorry about that, etc". He always made a question for me to reply, so he made an effort to keep the conversation going.

 

So his last email in November, he didnt ask any more questions, but 20 minutes after he emailed me, he said 'hey' on skype. He had blocked me on skype and facebook. I replied a day after and we talked for an hour. I thought he'd get closer to me, but after a week he didnt say anything else. I sent a 'hey, I was watching a horror movie and an scene remembered me of something that happened with us once". One week after, he hadnt replied so I let it go and never opened skype again. So about 4 months after, in march this year, he emailed me saying "hey, havent spoken in a while. Hows everything? x". One day later I replied, normal catch up, he replied after a day, described his job interview, gave many details, said he might move towns, then i replied, then he replied 3 days later and said among other things "did I tell you I got a dog?" I replied 3 days later asking how the dog was like, and 5 days later he replied and sent two pics, one of him holding the dog, and the other the dog was on the bed. So I replied and sent pics of my cats, and its been two months since. He still hasnt replied.

 

I noticed he unblocked me on facebook. I still have our couples pictures there, but set on private. But as he was tagged, he could see them when he unblocked me. Could that have been a reason to why he stopped replying? I believe hes still living with this girl, that he met online, and that when they met went straight into a practically married relationship. It could be difficult to break up with her since she has nowhere to go. On these last emails he said "I will move towns, I got a dog", not WE...

 

We only talked about we were up to, planning to do. I never tried speaking about us because I was waiting for us to talk more frequently, but its difficult when the other person replies 2 weeks later.

So my main questions are: do I have any chance of getting him back? Should I tell him how I feel? Is he still interested in me since he have kept the conversation casually going for months, and this year he iniciated contact and even sent me pics?

I'm 22 years old and he's 28.

Edited by laya339
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ExpatInItaly

No, he's not still interested. Someone who is interested doesn't take a month or more to reply to you. Think about that: would you let two months go by without replying to him? Of course not. Why? Because you are interested. His silence speaks volumes. You're a friend from the past, but there's no indication here that he has a romantic interest anymore.

 

I think you really need to take down the pictures you still have of him. He obviously sees that you haven't let go, even after all this time has passed. That's not healthy for you.

 

Also, he isn't single. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are between them; it's not your concern.

 

You need to emotionally let go of him.

 

And in the future, remember that if you treat someone badly (which you did, by your own admission) that will not easily be forgotten or overlooked. It doesn't matter if you were loyal or good to him at other times. Mistreatment is a big no-no and very damaging. Learn from this experience so you can approach a relationship in a healthier way next time.

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