talksomesenseintome Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Hi, Knowing that I can post here is such a relief, as I am not ready to speak to anyone about out loud / to people close to me. He told me he never used face book, however call it intuition a.... hunch on a cold winters night, I had a look to see if indeed he didn't ever use his face book. Sure enough he did use it had been messaging a holiday fling from russia - this happened before we were together. Inviting her to stay in his villa abroad, addressing the russian airways plane crash as he saw her status was ''back from egypt'', this was why he got in touch with her.....Super flirty, ''You look amazing'' type of stuff. I was very upset, spoke him about it, cried a lot - questioning everything. He works away, so this is all over the phone, when he got home gave me a big bunch of flowers, I was the one for him said it was just a misunderstanding and to forget it. Very matter of fact, loves me. Oh and that ''He was upset too'' His facebook deactivated. Now, if this was the other way round.... we are talking hell broken loose. There are no friends with ex's in our relationship, he would never consider that a possibility. The other day he was funny about me touching his tablet thing, took it off me and said it was his. So the hunch was back. He fell asleep on the sofa and had a look in his deleted emails, there was an email with just his name as the title to a russian email address. He was trying to get hold of the exact woman. Unfortunately for him he also had a bounce back mail, maybe he needs to get back on his face book so its a sure thing. We have been together nearly 4 years, pretty much ''trying'' for a baby. I haven't said anything to him, just angry, hurt, lied to, betrayed and Disrespected. I dont feel bad about looking at his mails, because I had a hunch and I was right. I'm just kind of hoping that I am not pregnant, because I feel deceived - and I know that's really and awful thing to say. Am I going mad? What should I think about this? What should I do about it? Do I have any ground for anything at all? Am I hormonal? Should we even be together? Whats with this amazing woman anyway? Why dosent he just eff off and find her if he is that bothered? All I know is, Im very frosty with him, I dont want to have sex with him and he just thinks I am in a mood and he doesn't know that I know. If you think I am just being stupid - dont hold back, I probably just need to be told. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 It's obvious he has cheated or is trying really hard to cheat with this woman. No postpone having a baby with this guy or you will be left home with a baby while he's out cheating. Wait to get married to have a child as that will provide both of you security. You know he's interested in this other woman so what do you plan to do? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author talksomesenseintome Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 He must be interested in her musnt he? Other wise, why is he bothering? We are in the uk, she is in Russia? It all seems a bit odd to me. To be chasing her... Is this strong enough grounds to break up with someone? Thanks, by the way Link to post Share on other sites
Author talksomesenseintome Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 At the moment I dont know what to do! W have bought a big house together, refurbishing it. More up upset will commence I am sure Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 You bought a house together and are trying for a baby - are you married? Personally, I would leave. The house is just a "thing" in the grand scheme of living a life with someone who doesn't honor you or your relationship. Your spidey sense was talking to you and I think - in your gut - you know that it is not going to end well. He is actively trying to cheat on you and is lying to you. Why would you want to father a children with someone like that? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author talksomesenseintome Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 You right. Thanks, good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Always trust your gut. In fact, it's the only thing we can really ever trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 He must be interested in her musnt he? Other wise, why is he bothering? We are in the uk, she is in Russia? It all seems a bit odd to me. To be chasing her... He's got, what is for some guys, the best of both worlds - you on the home front, her (and maybe others ) when he's elsewhere. I'm curious - how did you meet him ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 If he's chasing the lady in Russia, I can guarantee you his sneaky behaviour doesn't stop there. If it's not her, it will be someone else. You will not be able to trust him if he goes out without you, goes away without you, etc. You'll be wringing your hands at home wondering what he's up to. Next you'll be looking at his phone all the time. And I guarantee you, from time to time you will find something and you'll feel utterly disappointed and your self-esteem will plummet for staying with this guy. What kind of life is that? I would end it and find someone with integrity and loyalty. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 STOP trying for a baby immediately. This is NOT a relationship that needs complicated with children. He is sniffing out other women and he works away, so you do not have a clue what he really gets up to. I don't think you can trust him, and that is really no basis for any long term relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author talksomesenseintome Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 I know, Thanks all of you. Just feel like such a massive dickhead. I was told this morning that I needed some happy pills. Got to do a pregnancy test.... never thought it would be like this. Yet another mess. Great! Thanks a lot for your words. Not that they aren't difficult deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Any update OP? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts