Mayatry Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Hi everyone, I've been very depressed over my issue for the last month and need some advice and help on how to deal with my situation. Sorry for the long story, but it seems like that move "Gone Girl". I was in a relationship with a 32 year old woman for almost 2 years. Originally she told me she was married but separated and going through divorce because her husband cheated on her and that the husband is living in another city with her new girl friend. She told me because she is a new immigrant and because of immigration issues she needs sometime to complete the divorce process. I noticed her weird behaviour in public several times, like avoiding certain places, and confronted her, but she denied that anything was wrong every time, and I assumed its because of her divorce situation and the issues she has. Eventually I broke up with her 2 months ago because I felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere, but a month after, through random conversation with some one I was told that she is not separated and actually been living with her husband, and there is no divorce planned at all. Yes, I've been told, I know I'm a huge idiot to believe her lies for such a long time, but I've never met some one so manipulative in my entire life. Its beed devastation for me! Now not only I feel betrayed and used, I also feel extremely stupid for not being more prudent. The person I talked to was a friend of the husband and they talked to him, but he wanted to see me or see pictures of us tougher to believe the story. I didn't feel comfortable getting involved with him. He confronted her, and as usual she denied everything and blamed him for accusing her. She told him the friend is lying because he likes her and wants to destroy the marriage. So he stopped talking to the friend and went back to his wife. I tried to talk to her by going to her work afterwards but she did what she's best at. again she denied everything telling me that she's separated and the divorce should be done soon! Also she told me that he husband even though they are not together is very mad and is planning to hurt me so I better stay away! I don't know what to do now! move on and forget, and let the time heal the wounds, and never trust anyone again! or see the husband and give him all the pictures of her and me at many many occasions we were together! She even came to my parent's house, met my family and off course all my friends! So I am torn right now. Anyone ever dealt with something like this? I don't know what to do. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Don't be an Ahole, move on. More likely than not your plans of revenge won't turn out like you hope. Most likely she'll convince her husband the reason you have all those pics is because you were friends, but you turned into a stalker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainah Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Move on and don't get involved, she will only minipulate her husband with an excuse like she has done to you for 2 years. Sadly some people are like this, no morals now days. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Like I always say, don't get involved. It's up to the husband to figure this crap out. BUT if he pulls you aside and directly asks you, ya by all means tell him. Funny if you were a woman you would have the majority of females tell you to expose the cheater. Women are more vengeful than guys and have np doing this but when it comes to guys they don't want to bother because they are too embarrassed to admit they were duped by a woman and would rather just leave it. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 btw I'm so sorry you are going through such a tragedy as this. Must be so disheartening. Don't let this make you bitter, paranoid or lack trust in others. Just learn from the experience. Never date someone who says they are going through a divorce....wait until the divorce papers are in their hands. Link to post Share on other sites
contel3 Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) It doesn't really matter if you talk to him or not. Do what makes you feel best. It's probably a waste of time for you, but if you think you have something to gain from talking to him, why not. Think about what YOU can benefit from this. If you decide to talk to him, don't do it to get back at her. Try to be respectful, kind and understanding. He didn't do anything to you. Whats happening to the husband is just as horrible as what you are going through, if not worse. You only spent two years with her, consider it a blessing. I'm truly sorry this happened to you. Edited June 13, 2016 by contel3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 It's obvious the husband doesn't really want to know the truth or he would have personally gone to YOU for actual proof. You will not get any closure or satisfaction out of confronting the husband. I say let Karma run it's course. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Walk away. If you ever have "niggles" about something again walk away. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Get tested for STDs, as unwittingly you have been "sleeping with" the husband too, which is fine if he is faithful but not so good if he is sleeping around. Also you may not be the only man she is seeing behind her husband's back - get tested asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Like I always say, don't get involved. It's up to the husband to figure this crap out. BUT if he pulls you aside and directly asks you, ya by all means tell him. How the hell is he supposed to just 'figure it out' when his wife is lying and the OP avoided having anything to DO with the guy when he asked for proof? Is the husband supposed to just get his answers by asking the Magic 8 Ball? The guy DID ask the OP for proof and the OP clammed up and wouldn't provide it, thereby protecting his married girlfriend. OP, that's what you DID when you didn't have the guts to man up and provide proof to her husband about what a lying low life she really is. You protected her and just made it possible for her to SCAM someone else. She'll go on to scam someone else - just like you - down the road. Do the right thing and tell this poor guy. Wouldn't YOU want someone to tell YOU the truth? Wouldn't you have preferred that someone tell YOU two years ago that she was a lying con artist so you could have avoided being taken for a ride by her? Of course you would have. So why wouldn't you afford her husband the same courtesy if it's in your power to do so? Link to post Share on other sites
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