New Here Looking for support and guidance and whatever else that comes with hope

[LyricalDesire]

Hi there.

 

I HATE writing about myself and I hate writing out my story...

I am a 36 year old mom of 5. Yep, you read right 5.. Funny thing people say, "Do you know what causes that" Well, yeah.. of course. And don't worry, we don't do that thing that causes that anymore, and really, we haven't done it all that much in my 15 years of marriage. It just so happened, after being told I'd never have kids, someone played tricks on me. No matter what, I LOVE my kids. But sadly, my marriage is just a mere existence of a piece of paper, the same last name and some kids.

 

We don't sleep in the same room, his choice, not mine. We don't do anything together. He treats me like crap, blames me for money issues, but fails to see his own wrong doing. Doesn't help with house work, or disciplining kids. He wants to be their friend. Just works, and comes home. That's it.

 

I can't live like this anymore, but I am stuck, trapped in quick sand, no way out. Im July, I will be finished with my Bachelors of graphic Design. But, I live in a small town, so work will be limited and more than likely I will be a freelancer. I have nothing to my name, no car, no money, nothing. My family is 1200, miles away and their hands are tied. No friends close by. Nothing., I am far from perfect but I don't know what to do anymore. I just don;t know where to turn.

 

My "Husband" has threatened to take the kids from me, and said If I want to leave, there is the door, knowing I have nothing and no where to go.

 

I just don't know anymore....

[66Charger]

First of all, a lot of work is now done remotely, and especially work like graphic design. Get a plan. Network. Create a portfolio. Dont focus on what you can do today, focus on what you want for tomorrow. Go for it. Quietly, if need be. Ignor your stbx. Become YOU.

 

Dont sell yourself short.

[todreaminblue]

is your husband open to professional counselling or have you tried it?what happened during and after if you did...do you go to church? have you made friends while doing your degree....do you go to a university or is your degree by correspondence?

 

sorry about the 756 questions......:0)..i am a mother of five too...but i am 47 this year.....i was in a relationship for fifteen years nearly a decade ago...we didnt marry though...when our relationship ended i left basically with my kids my animals my clothes my books my music and my movies......and i moved interstate to be with family....the road trip was ....smilin...interesting....a farting rottie meowing cats and kids going are we there yet....i started over.....my mum picked me up in a hire car...and we drove for 14 hours...well my mum and my sis did...i dont drive.....before i was fit to do this...and this was a massive life change....i was hospitalized by court order.....i didnt think i could do it.....didnt think i was going to make it....but i did.....obviously....i feel we all have inner reserves that allow us to beat insurmountable obstacles......we just have to get in touch with them and have support around us to bring them out into the open.....never give up on hope...what kept me going ...was my kids....and they needed me.....they are nearly all grown now....my ex threatened me quite a few times while i was in in hospital to take the kids from me....what that actually did...was activated my fighting spirit.....and i fought hard to get better so i could look after them...he might have replaced me in his life with another...but he couldnt replace me in theirs......i wouldnt let him they are my world.....

 

never give up hope

 

i know what its like to feel trapped...but either way you are going to have to make a change.....to make a move ...to make some decisions on what is best for you and your kids........either physical or emotionally by professional counselling..have you ever had any counselling for your marriage and or family counselling?....has he ever hit you or the kids?....where are your family...your mum your dad.you say they are 1200 miles away....my family was 2000 plus km away

 

and you say your family's hands are tied why.......again with the questions?...:0)...sorry..deb

Edited June 12, 2016 by todreaminblue

[LyricalDesire]

He doesn't feel there is anything wrong within the relationship, Everything people suggest, I have tried at least three times if not more. Their hands are tied because sadly, money makes the world go round and neither they nor I have any to get me back home..

 

I trying to make the move.. But I feel like I am behind a wall..

[todreaminblue]

He doesn't feel there is anything wrong within the relationship, Everything people suggest, I have tried at least three times if not more. Their hands are tied because sadly, money makes the world go round and neither they nor I have any to get me back home..

 

I trying to make the move.. But I feel like I am behind a wall..

 

have you ever been really upfront and honest with him...maybe if you to him point balnk.....

 

 

" we need to go to marriage counselling if we dont...i am afraid that our marriage is not ok at all...i am not happy...it isnt working for me and i am seriously considering leaving with the kids"....

 

 

if he threatens you with taking the kids off you again and not attempting to save the marriage if you say all this.....then say to him...that will be up to the courts to decide not you...

 

i will say that a lot of abusive men threaten to take the kids away from the mothers...its a control thing......but in all or in many instances of reality ...they cant look after the kids and work at the same time..by themselves.....its not an easy road...and they are often self centered anyway to say such things to a mother of a child.....as i said its control....its not about the kids at all..thats when you privately start seeking legal advice....

 

my mum left my dad in the middle of the road while he was driving..she had no one...he had isolated her from everyone...taking her on constant road trips around australia....she missed her mums funeral as my mum was not able to be located..he refused to visit us(her daughters) or let mum visit us........and one day she just had enough....she asked him to pull the car over....got out and walked......ignoring all entreaties for her to get back in the car....she walked to the closest phone box.......and called a shelter......eventually getting enough money together to come stay with me and my sis and her grand kids.....there are ways...if you have the will to make a change...i know it seems massive...but you are only limited to what you are willing to do.......you can make a change......i really do feel you need to be upfront with your husband first and try to seek counselling...........is he physically abusive with you at all....deb

[Angelica21]

Lyrical Desire:

 

Start immediately to gather the information that you need to know regarding divorce laws in the state of Georgia:

 

contact one or more family law attorneys and make appts to meet for a no-cost initial consultation, which will usually be 30 to 45 minutes for you to ask questions in general, and ask questions about what it will cost to hire that attorney to represent you.

 

any money that your husband earns is also your money, it is "marital" money, and your husband can be legally forced to provide the money to pay for your attorney.

 

Most divorce cases (90% of them) are settled outside of court and you never appear before a judge. All the decisions about money and children are made via discussions among you, your lawyer, your husband, and your husband's lawyer. Most parents agree to sharing financial responsibilities and housing responsibilities. Then all the lawyers do is carry the completed paperwork to a judge who asks some quick questions to make sure that nobody is being coerced. The judge does not listen to the case, does not make any decisions about the case.

 

The small number of cases (10%) that appear before a judge are usually because there is an extreme problem with either the husband or the wife: usually one or both of them are mentally ill, or addicted to drugs or alcohol, or one or both of them are so narcissitic they believe that a judge will make all choices in their favor. It doesn't happen that way!

 

Very few mother or fathers are denied custody rights to their own children. In most cases, "normal" parents are both given opportunities for the children to live with them and/or spend lots of time with them.