soon to be in laws who are frustrating. !!!

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I think you are seriously twisting that poster's meaning. I don't see where they said that children should stay in neglectful or abusive homes, just that they were saying children who have been removed from such homes still wish to have some contact with their parents and that the OP should still reach out to his children and be part of their lives in some way even if he can't parent them full time.

 

 

Thank you so much Anika.

[lovey34]

i guess I'm slightly ballzie... if you don't put your foot down now, this issue will pass and you will have mrs issues. clearly the family has no respect for you or their daughter. she is treating her like a child. i wouldnt give a rats ass about what they think and your lady needs to be on board. she needs to be reminded of the person you are. and if she chooses you she can ride out the waves. if not scoot over.. she knows your situation and she believes you, that is all that matters. and if your history is true or not true, why does it matter anyway? she is marrying you for who u are not for your family or where you came from. we all have a story, and or SO should know it, even if it hurts to explain it. as for the in laws, put them in their place. it might be socially awkward for a little while, but in the long run you will be respected and your word will matter. best of luck...

hiya. first and foremost GAHHHH regarding soon to be family. My problem is as follows.

 

I am pretty much between a rock and a hard place. I am dating a wonderful woman and she said yes to marrying me. problem is my in laws are manipulative and have caused a ton of issues with us. It's finally wearing out my fiance.

 

Long story short, I am a ward of the court originally through no fault of my own from the age of 5 until 18. it was a really horrible situation in which I was forced to be given a new name and relocated from another country to the united states. Eventually I joined up into the military and tried to unsuccessfully start a family. The marriage failed when I became injured while in the military and deployed. She decided that she didn't wish to take care of me and our two daughters. Said she couldn't be the bread winner of the house. It also turns out she was having sex with men while I was deployed and left the kids very dirty. This was brought up in court, and her grand parents went crazy saying I was disabled thus couldn't have them and they wanted the children. Eventually, I convinced the court to let my daughters stay with the only family member who I know of back in another country.

 

Now... back to my issue. I told my soon to be in laws all this. My soon to be wife has seen all the proof. My in laws think I am bull****ting about all of this and my fiances sister in law is a domestic abuse victim. She has caused SO many issues, accusing me of lying, manipulating, and being a psychopath. Between her drama it has spread to the family. The woman has trigger issues.

 

My fiance has started pulling back because of all the accusations. stated she wonders if she made a good choice or not about this. She said she believes me, Has seen all the court stuff. but this voice in the back of her head is of her mother and sister in law causing her to question.

 

Yesterday I got sick and tired of her sister in law after she was caught lying to my fiance. Attempting to manipulate her. She admitted it. Frankly, I am sick and tired of all this manipulation.

 

I went over to her mothers house yesterday and presented proof in regards to being a ward of the court (my fiances mother and sister in law were claiming I was lying about that). I also showed her my military retirement stuff. Also, She said that she couldnt understand why I don't have contact with my children. Even after I have told her a million times that just the thought of my children causes my heart to break. And since its too expensive for me to travel to their country. I have to keep myself from emotionally breaking. So I don't contact them.

 

What would you do if you were in my situation?