xo Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 my boyfriend has been away with his band in england for just over 2 weeks and I haven't gotten one phone call, one message, one email or even one postcard. we live together and we have been together for 4 years. we have been arguing somewhat, but when i dropped him off at the airport, everything was left fine. we made love before he left, everything was actually quite nice. but, now, it's been 15 days since and i haven't heard anything from him. i had to email a band mate of his to find out what is going on (as far as them returning) and he told my boyfriend that i would like him to call me...but still no phone call. please....someone out there tell me what you think may be or is going on. i am almost embarrased to ask. thanks! sadly Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Its hard to find a valid excuse in a case like this. He hasn't called you, he knows you want to hear from him and he hasn't gotten in contact with you even then. The only explanation that makes sense is that he used this as an opportunity to move on without you - without giving you the courtesy of even letting you know that he was doing it. That is probably one of the worst ways to break up with someone: the 'disappearing act'. On the off chance that it is something else - try to contact him again through someone else if you have to. Find out if that person actually told him to contact you. If you still can't get through, it may be time for you to do some moving on of your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 But we live together. What am I supposed to do about that? And why was everything so good before he left? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 That's a tough situation - wait it out to see if you hear from him. If you continue to not hear from him, despite repeated requests for contact you will want to make it clear that he may not have a home to come back to. Seriously, I can't really think of a single valid excuse for his 'radio silence'. Can he not at least email you? As for why things were going well - a lot of times its hard to read someone's intentions. Things can seem really well on the surface, but he may well have had some emotional stuff going on inside that he failed to tell you about and found it easier to just avoid altogether because he knew he was skipping town. You won't really know though until you hear from him (or not). Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 thing is, he has made it very clear that he never checks his email when "on the road." and that is true, he doesn't. although every one else in the band does, for some reason he won't. um. i know that he is in a band and he has girls probably coming up to him everynight. i'm curious as to if he is even being faithful. if he's not calling me? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 This is something you'll need to sort out with him when he gets back, but meantime I think it's imperative that you keep yourself busy and try to cut down on the amount of time you're thinking about him. Torturing yourself with thoughts about what might be going on is not going to help you or your relationship. I think when he returns, it might be an idea to explore with him (calmly, if you can, rather than in a hurt and angry manner) what value he actually places on the relationship he has with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 thank you. but i unfortunately think i can already tell what kind of value he places on this relationship. he's stuck in england and can't get back right now. you would think that i would get a phone call to tell me of his stats? you would think. he's not only a week late but now he doesn't even know how he's going to get back - wouldn't you think that would require a good call home. if i was even just his roommate - not even a girlfriend - i think that would be a situation in which you would be so respectful to call and tell someone at the house. but, he can't even do that. i don't know when to expect him and as i was extremely upset a few days ago, now i am not. i guess reality is starting to set in and it may, in fact, be very possible that he really doesn't give 2 ****s about me and that's that. in that case what do i do? isn't it alittle obvious? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Being muso myself I can say what goes on the road styas on the road. A reality away from reality. If he is horny whe he returns that is a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 28, 2005 Author Share Posted June 28, 2005 yeah, believe me...i have heard that one before and it is bull****. let me tell you that there can be 2 thorns on that rose. but, honestly, i would never even dream of doing anything like that. i have cheated on a boyfriend (i had for 10 years - on and off) and i know for a fact that i couldn't or wouldn't ever bring myself to doing that to my present boyfriend. i think it's because it is really love. but....being a musician or not, that shouldn't change the way you feel about someone. i would hate to think that he's bangin girls around the world. especially if he comes home to me. because if that's the case, it's really bad, especially when thinking safety. i mean i don't need cooties from across the globe. you have to think about that ****. and also, what if i was to contract something, don't you think he would be busted then? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 im amazed that he hasnt called you. Do you know when he returns? Must be tough for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 28, 2005 Author Share Posted June 28, 2005 i am amazed too. especially after my email to his band mate. i said , "well....can you tell him to call me? or would it be just easier for me to tell him to '**** off?' what's easier, you tell me. just tell him to call me, check his email or something....." so, he gets back tomorrow. but at this point i wonder if he is even going to come home, when he gets home. ya know. yeah, it sucks so bad. you wouldn't even begin to know....i wouldn't want you to. i hate it. i don't know - what should i say to him when he does return? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 2 weeks vacation is not that long of a time! Just say i would have appreaciated a call or something. Id say his band mates would have given him heaps about wifey calling Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 please let us know his excuse! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 29, 2005 Author Share Posted June 29, 2005 it's actually quite funny that you should say that...."that his band mates would give him heeps for a wifey calling.." because that is what he always says...that it is not that easy to call me because he is constantly surrounded by guys. and if you know my bear...he doesn't like to shed a bit of P.D.A., especially to his band mates. that is funny. i could over-reacting abit huh? but....i will give you all the result when he gets back. maybe tomorrow, maybe not. who's to really know for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 you will probably find that all is well By the way what is P.D.A? All the best Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo Posted June 29, 2005 Author Share Posted June 29, 2005 i certainly hope so. if you are right though...don't you see how much a simple phone call can make in a persons life. after all....at&t made a killing off the slogan..."reach out and touch someone." it holds alot of value. it really does. but a P.D.A. = Public Display of Affection. just an fyi. a couple lessons learned today. i hope i don't learn one tomorrow and find out i've been dating a creep. keep your fingers crossed for me...and toes! xo Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 toes crossed as well Link to post Share on other sites
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