LoveHeart20 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Hello, So previously I was in a LDR with a girl online for almost two years. Then one day for some reason I stopped hearing from her, for a very long time. I thought that was it in our relationship and that we had broken up. So eventually, after some time I found someone else and we were also in a long distance relationship (these 2 people are both from the same country). And while I was with her things were going OK but then I finally received a message back from my last girlfriend. You have to understand that when I was with my last girlfriend, I was very happy with her and it was really upsetting for her to suddenly leave me for about 6 months. And when she suddenly returned, it was very confusing for me to understand what had happened to her. I guess a lot of feelings came back after hearing from her again. And I didn't know what to do. I blocked her as I had no answer to give her from her messages that she sent me. (This is all on FB btw). I guess I felt angry as she had done the same to me. She never actually blocked me, she just never answered me for half a year, I guess it felt like being blocked. And also, I was with someone else so it would be wrong to message 2 people like that, or it felt wrong to me anyway. So after about a couple of weeks, my relationship with the second girl broke down and we parted our separate ways. I then unblocked my previous girlfriend and she was confused as to why she couldn't contact me. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell her and told her that my FB went wrong and I had some problems with contacting people. I don't know why I did that, I guess I still had feelings for her and didn't want to upset her. Was a stupid thing and a bad decision for me to say that. But since then we have both changed and promise to always keep in contact with each other. We are extremely happy together and I actually went to see her in her country last week! And plan to do it again. We are very happy together. However, there is one thing that remains constantly in my mind... The fact I didn't tell her the truth about blocking her. When she thought I had blocked her, she was hurt and thought I didn't want to talk to her any more. At the time, I was with someone else, that was the point. But I don't know what to say now!! What should I do? It was about 2-3 months ago that this all happened... We are happy now but I should be an honest person. I am just scared of this breaking us up due to me lying and I don't want to hurt her. Please give me some advice, it will be more than appreciated. Thank you so much. Kind Regards. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Before I proceed, a question: Have you ever met her in person? Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Before I proceed, a question: Have you ever met her in person? Um, yeah... We are extremely happy together and I actually went to see her in her country last week! And plan to do it again. We are very happy together. He did. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
lazcas Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 She dissapeared without explanation, it is understandable understandable that you were with someone else. Don't tell her that you blocked her, that night bring unnecessary trouble now that you are happy again. Just let it go and enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 LDR all things as you know in a relationship seem to have no rules. Remember she disappeared for 6 months. 1. You are not engage to her! 2. You are not married to her! 3. Not even living together with her! I would keep that matter to myself if I was like you. If you want things to continue as they are. I am sure she has some hidden secrets she as surprised you with either. In life we all take risk and the outcome may or may not be what we want! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHeart20 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 Hello everybody. Just want to say thank you so much for your replies. It is much appreciated!! Kind Regards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHeart20 Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 Any chance I could ask you 1 more thing?? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Um, yeah... He did. Best, TMichaels Thanks, I somehow missed this when reading earlier. I apparently needed more coffee! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHeart20 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) Hello, So previously I was in a LDR with a girl online for almost two years. Then one day for some reason I stopped hearing from her, for a very long time. I thought that was it in our relationship and that we had broken up. So eventually, after some time I found someone else and we were also in a long distance relationship (these 2 people are both from the same country). And while I was with her things were going OK but then I finally received a message back from my last girlfriend. You have to understand that when I was with my last girlfriend, I was very happy with her and it was really upsetting for her to suddenly leave me for about 6 months. And when she suddenly returned, it was very confusing for me to understand what had happened to her. I guess a lot of feelings came back after hearing from her again. And I didn't know what to do. I blocked her as I had no answer to give her from her messages that she sent me. (This is all on FB btw). I guess I felt angry as she had done the same to me. She never actually blocked me, she just never answered me for half a year, I guess it felt like being blocked. And also, I was with someone else so it would be wrong to message 2 people like that, or it felt wrong to me anyway. So after about a couple of weeks, my relationship with the second girl broke down and we parted our separate ways. I then unblocked my previous girlfriend and she was confused as to why she couldn't contact me. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell her and told her that my FB went wrong and I had some problems with contacting people. I don't know why I did that, I guess I still had feelings for her and didn't want to upset her. Was a stupid thing and a bad decision for me to say that. But since then we have both changed and promise to always keep in contact with each other. We are extremely happy together and I actually went to see her in her country last week! And plan to do it again. We are very happy together. However, there is one thing that remains constantly in my mind... The fact I didn't tell her the truth about blocking her. When she thought I had blocked her, she was hurt and thought I didn't want to talk to her any more. At the time, I was with someone else, that was the point. But I don't know what to say now!! What should I do? It was about 2-3 months ago that this all happened... We are happy now but I should be an honest person. I am just scared of this breaking us up due to me lying and I don't want to hurt her. Please give me some advice, it will be more than appreciated. Thank you so much. Oh and btw, my EX knows I blocked her! The most worrying thing is, is that I am scared they would meet and my EX would tell her!!! They live about a 3 hour drive away. But I worry my EX might go to where my girlfriend now lives for a holiday or something and they might meet each other!! There's a chance... But they don't know what each other looks like I think... Kind Regards. Am I worrying too much??? I just really love this girl and I don't want to lose her! (Yes I have posted this before, but this is an updated version). Edited June 16, 2016 by LoveHeart20 Link to post Share on other sites
dpass Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Why can't you find a GF in person, in your own country? What are you hoping to get out a long distance online relationship? What happens when she up and ignores you again? Are you ignoring women in your own life that may be interested? Has she said WHY she stopped talking to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Sorry but I have to say this....you need to get real. None of these were anything more than chat over the internet of a fantasy relationship. I feel sorry for you because you are missing out what is to be a REAL relationship where you hold hands, cuddle on the couch, touch, feel one another, have sex, kiss be passionate, etc. Please do yourself a favor and push yourself away from the computer, go outside, enjoy life and what it has to offer...get some hobbies, make new friends, join some coworkers for a drink after work, accept invites or invite people over for dinner...you know build a social life. If you have anxiety issues that prevents you from having a normal social life then seek out a therapist to help you with that. I'm being serious here, life is way too short you need to get out there and get some real experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Why would you feel guilty? After two years this girl just randomly decided to ignore your messages. You eventually blocked her, but it was her choice not to reply... Did she tell you why? My guess is that she probably met someone irl while she was silent, that didn't work out so now she's back. I would be more worried about her ghosting again. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I don't get it. Why are you living your life inside your computer? Does it really matter in the end that you blocked her? Is that the equivalent of ghosting someone in REAL life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I don't get it. Why are you living your life inside your computer? We are extremely happy together and I actually went to see her in her country last week! And plan to do it again. We are very happy together. Seems they have met, but I agree LDRs conducted inside computers are not the best idea. Loads of wasted time, as years go by and then it all fizzles out when one goes off and meets a "real" person. A person they can really talk to and do things with, a person they can hug and hold, and have real sex with whenever they feel like it. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 im not going to judge your relationship on whether its real or not...obviously to you it is real...i will say online relationships are hard especially long distance.....country to country.... and leaves room open for deceit.....i am sure you are aware of this...whther or not its a physical relationship too often people discount emotional relationships.....but you cannot disregard emotional affairs so i dont see why you should disregard emotional relationships..emotional coonections can be just as intense as physical connections...in my mind ...more so......... i think you should tell her the truth she disappeared and you thought it was over and you got involved in another relationship and that is the reason you blocked her....its simple and to the point...it really wasnt your fault in the first place...for after all you had no idea what happened and assumed it was finished........and she ghosted you.... be careful with this one if someone can take off with no explanation...chances are ...she will again....good luck...deb Link to post Share on other sites
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