Nightbreeze Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 (edited) Hi everybody.. i'm 24 and ive been with my boyfriend,26 yo, for about one year. Im his first serious girlfridnd (he had a gf when he was 16 and then noone) and hes very shy and struggling with his insecurities. In jenuary i was at his place and i was sick, and had to use his computer, with his approval of course. He had to leave to go to work, and i started using his computer. As i was typing what i needed on google, it came out as previous things searched a name of a girl. I got jealous and i look at his browser history, i know i shouldnt have done that, but im a really jealous type of person, i got suspicious and i couldnt help it. I found out he had searched the names of several girls, and that he went to a site of camgirls pretty much every day. I felt even worse and told him about that a few days later. I was angry and was uncertain whether to leave him or not, he started crying, apologyzing and saying he ryined everything and he was a fool exc.. After a few days of indecision we gradually made up, me telling him he had to stop with camgirls, and that he had to tell me the truth always. He agreed, tellimg me that he loved me and even asked me to move in with him. He swore that he used to have cintact with those girls only on that site, and didnt have any skype, email o whatsapp contact of those girls. I told him i had to check his comouter, cause i couldnt trust him anymore, and he was ok with it. A few days later, as i was checking his computer (still with his approval) i saw on the browser history that he had searched how to delete a skype account.. He told me he had another skype account that he used with those girls, who he had as contacts, to masturbate and exchange photos and sometimes videos. Im ok with him watching porn and masturbating, it think its natural and i told him that, but having "virtual sex" with several girls while being in a relashionship is not ok with me, not at all. He lied to me and i feel betrayed.. i cant trust him 100%, i really love him and think he loves me too.but i still have the doubt hes doing that again or that hes prone to cheating. Cknsidering his so shy and didnt have any girls in his afult life i believe him when he says it was an habit of a single guy.. but it dtill doesnt excuse him. What do you think about it? I wrote another post about him.. thanks:) Edited June 15, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and move to CFJ Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 It's not a cam girl issue specifically (that's actually a pretty benign way to chase porn for singles) but a trust issue. You're getting a 'truth leak' here, first the cam girls admission and then the Skype one later, so he's being less than forthcoming about it all. Do you feel comfortable not being able to trust him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nightbreeze Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 i don't feel comfortable not trusting him.. i'm certain he has not cheated on me in real life, not virtually i mean, but sometimes i doubt whether he's going to that site again or not. i don't like the feelingof not being able to trust him 100%.. i know he loves me, i can see that in everything he does.. he really does try to make me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Well then you have your answer. Look forward to a life of uncertainty w/him or cut him loose and move on. No-brainer to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 He's also paying for this so, there is that aspect too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nightbreeze Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 i can't leave him, i love him too much and for the first time in years i'm happy with someone. so do you think the camgirls thing is not that bad? i mean skyping with them, not merely watching videos online.. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Doesn't matter what I think matters what you think. Personally because you asked, it's cheating to me. He's paying other women and masterbating with them, it's not acceptable to me at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 i can't leave him, i love him too much and for the first time in years i'm happy with someone. so do you think the camgirls thing is not that bad? i mean skyping with them, not merely watching videos online.. Well, if you "can't leave him", does it matter if it is bad or not? If you can't leave, you are accepting that he will do this. Personally, I would not accept it. I think it is cheating. And the more important thing is that it is against YOUR values, no matter what anyone on LoveShack thinks. If you stay with him, you have more of this in your future. And there is a difference between being a "jealous type" person, and following your gut instincts. Don't forget that in this case, your instincts were SPOT ON. He WAS hiding something from you. Then he went to learn how to delete the skype account so he could hide more from you. What else is he hiding? Who knows. But if you want to accept this behavior because you "can't leave him", that's up to you. You are only choosing to hurt yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 i can't leave him, i love him too much and for the first time in years i'm happy with someone. Is this your idea of happiness? Better get used to it then. so do you think the camgirls thing is not that bad? i mean skyping with them, not merely watching videos online.. ^ You're trying to bargain on his behalf now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 There are two separate issues here, in my view. 1) His use of pornographic devices for sexual pleasure 2) His dishonesty Everyone has different feelings about porn, camgirls, and what not. Some people see it as relatively benign, others feel it is cheating. Where do you fall on this spectrum? We can't tell you how you should feel. You said you are a jealous person, so I can't imagine that him exchanging photos and videos and live web-cam sessions with other women won't eat at you. From my point of view, his deceit is a major problem. He wasn't honest with you. It would seriously concern me, since I would also wonder that I still don't know about him. Think about it: you only found all this out because you discovered it. He lied directly to your face. The knowledge that he has the ability to do so will erode your relationship, I feel. You will always wonder if he's hiding more, if he has other accounts you don't know about, who he is exchanging messages with. I would not be able to trust someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 i can't leave him, i love him too much you have to quit thinking this way 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 so do you think the camgirls thing is not that bad? i mean skyping with them, not merely watching videos online.. Reasonable minds could differ, I suppose, but I'm thinking that interacting with these girls is definitely worse than passively viewing porn and yeah, I think it's cheating. But what do you think? It's your life, and your lines to draw. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Seems by your other thread he is no longer moving in with you, so I think this is all about you concocting a love story in your head around this guy who in reality is a 26 year old horny guy who gets off every day to other real live women via Skype and has now chosen to live somewhere where he doesn't have to explain himself to you. This may be a single guy "habit", but where do you fit into all of this? I think you are barking up the wrong tree with this guy if you want a proper relationship. He is already paying for virtual sex and it is not a huge leap to convert what he is doing to paying escorts/prostitutes for sex IRL if he hasn't already made that leap. Tolerate this if you want if you "love" him, but don't then moan when you have 3 kids and he is getting happy ending massages and spending your kids money on escorts... Link to post Share on other sites
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