Women will probably hate me after this post......

[Confused about love]

Hi im new here

 

At the risk of starting off by pissing some people off. Im going to tell my story.

 

I had alot of bad break ups and went without someone for a long time.

Finally one day I met someone and it all happened so fast I have to admit it was love at first sight and due to other things happening in my life I started staying with her the next day, later that week she gave me keys to her place.

I guess it began that week the problems that is. I remember waking up beside her and being taken back by how pretty she looked, but another morning I awoke to her

getting ready for work, lights turned on and clothes on top of me. Needless to say I wasnt to impressed. She started doing other things like this that got in my nerves at first I tried to tell her nicely then I was amazed that she wasnt considering that you dont act that way. But I really had strong feelings for her even if she got on my nerves I hoped she would realize that some of her behaviour was inapproiate and it was pushing me away. She acted alot like that girl in How to lose a man in 10 days.

 

So I wasnt all that sure I made a good choice here folks and I was kinda of ticked off at her. So I ended up fooling around with someone else, I guess to test the waters.

And that girl was even more messed up, and in fact while I was with this new girl I started missing her and almost started crying.

 

I guess things got a little better, but then again one day I just felt like she was too needy to controling etc.. I mean not in a bad way she just took me away from other things, which made me feel guilty. In fact one such day a customer called me expecting me to be around and I was out with her.. I guess I went off to deal with the customer after getting upset with the girl. The customer who was another female listened to me bitch about my girlfriend and left her number and said well if things change call me.. she was very pretty and she seemed pretty together. So I thought I can spend my life with someone who is getting on my nerves or take a chance with this customer

 

So I called and we ended up getting together, then she dropped me off near my girls place and I felt kind of crappy. As much as my girl was a pain at times, I guess she jsut hadnt had a boyfriend in a while and didnt realize she was pushing me away.. I felt awful... When I got in she woke up and was so happy to see me, I tucked her in and told her she should sleep. She was just like a dog happy to see its owner.

 

I guess after a while I couldnt handle her I wish I had a term for the way she was..

I think the last straw was her inviting me for dinner at her gay friends house..she went on and on about how this guys bf was a chef.. So I get there nothing is ready its late and Im starved.. The bf arrives and my girl approaches me and says can I lend her $10 for pizza.. Im floored..wow im thinking im not good enough to make a meal for..huh Ok I hand her the cash..but im put off for the rest of the evening.

 

At one point she sees the guys cuddling and decides she will try the same with me and I wasnt into it so I just moved away. On the way home we started fighting. Then when we got home I just said im fed up with the way you are... I told im moving out.

 

In any case we had alot of ups and downs I guess over time she tried her best at times. But I guess I was constantly trying break away from her which she didnt seem to be able to handle, she would say why are you breaking up with me ..u cant break up with me etc etc.. I guess truthfully I didnt wish to, but gosh she was a real handful at times, I guess I just wanted her to get her act together and I guess I felt like I was dating a child at times... at one point she lost her job and I was afraid I was going to get stuck paying her rent.

 

In the mean time, I was seeing other people in the background. I worked it out once and it wasnt a few and I was shocked. Some of them were in betweens breakups and I suspose some werent. No matter what though I still had these deep feelings for her. In any case one day we had one final blow up and I told her get lost and I didnt hear from her until I sent an email and she replied back very angry, part of the email was saying she knew there were others. I have never admitted that to her, in reality there was really only her. Whatever im sure anybody reading this cant comprehend my ryhme or reason for what i was doing on the side. Its been a while havent seen her in almost a year, I know she isnt seeing anyone and I havent met anyone that I have feelings for like her.

 

She continues to contact me, yet it doesnt go anywhere.. Thinking about it now I guess she must be concerned about me cheating on her or whatever other issues.

Im not sure how I fix that, I dont think fessing up would be a good idea.

I guess I would walk away seeing what ive done, but she seems to not wish to want to let go either... she asks me every so often if I have a girlfriend and when she mentions a guy she adds just a friend. Damn it I kind of feel bad about this mess, I mean she was really sweet except getting on my nerves and guess some of things she did cause she was so happy to be with me.

 

Well any thoughts? Im ready to get blasted for some of things ive done so bring it on I guess.......

[upsetnhurt]

Confused,

 

How old are you? I read through your posting and I must say that there is nothing substantial within it to even prompt a response other than my initial question.

[fundamental]

[LucreziaBorgia]

Sometimes you reach a point where it really would be best to move on. You two would be better off with other people, I think. It sounds like there were things that you liked about each other and miss, but there are fundamental things about yourselves that are going to continue to make you wrong for each other.

[whichwayisup]

When the bad starts to outweigh the good and you feel negative about that person and begin to bring out the worst in eachother, it's time to move on.

[shygurl]

Geez, you meet a girl, move in with her after a week....then you have the audacity to complain about how she keeps her house or the fact that she's got lights on in the morning when she's trying to get ready for work and you're still there in bed? You chose to move in with her so quickly, and it wasn't your home so why b*tch?

 

You cheated on her a few times, which is tacky and dishonest (that goes without saying).

 

I dunno, move on and find someone else to quickly shack up with?

[smile]

confused about love, wow your story coulda been written by my ex. I mean we didnt do the whole moving in thing but we spent all of our spare time of every day together. and we did get on eahcothers nerves. I mean we didnt have that time to be friends. We met , fell in love and jumped right in. I think thats a big mistake. Whirlwind romances wind up being tempermental bc there is no time to build a friendship... well most of the time.

 

My ex also had the same girl problem, kinda. In between there were other girls and before yes and after yes .. but when we were together it was just a matter of him wanting attention, wanting girls to like him, even if he didnt like them. With him we both agree its mother issues (ah dr. freud) bc she left when he was young and died when he was a teenager. He is looking for that uncondiitonal love, he desperately wants it and is petrfied of believing in it.. catch 22.

 

I dont know your past or even why you may think you do what you do but I see something very important here. You see her as more important than anyone else. She ranks above everyone else. She deserves respect, and that means telling her the whole truth, I dont see how you can have ANY kind of relationship with her if you dont. That may help the not trusting situation.

 

Why not be friends for a while? Hang out and chat with her. She obviously cares about you. You obviously care about her. Be honest with eachother, and let yourself believe you deserve her. You dont seem happy about the other girls.. why did you do it? Ask youself some questions and be honest, then you can be honest with her.

 

I dunno I just see lots of similarities with you and my ex , and its easy to just say youre childish or a jerk. Personally I believe there is more than that. You feel remorse for what you did and you know that you miss her, you know you did her wrong.... now do something about it... slowly. Take your time this way around.. you may be surprised what you learn about yourselves...

 

anyway maybe not advice but thats my 2 cents. : )

[SexKitten]

i don't think anyone should hate you for this, that's a bit harsh. but you are being rather selfish, hyper-dependant, and exceedingly expectant of others while feeling there is no need to offer anything from yourself--even honesty.

 

try taking care of yourself first, then worry about a relationship.

 

good luck.

[Confused about love]

I was heading for cover after I wrote this, but things arent as bad as I expected.

 

upsetnhurt -- How does my age have any bearing on the situation?

 

shygurl -- Shacking up.. see that was her idea as much as mine, in fact once she had me there the one day she was always asking when will you be home? When I wasnt there she was telling me how she wished I was there. There was even a point where she demanded I come up there and spend time with her. The light issue, hey it was 5 in the morning I was passed out..

 

Smile and sex kitten --- I like your thoughts best I guess I need to be on my own a little but then again I think ive been in purgatory for long enough. I just wish figure what to say to get her to agree to hangng out with me..any thoughts? Ive asked her a few times once it seemed like she almost said yes, the other times she refused saying she couldnt see my because of what happened between us...

[oopemily]

u have to finish this i think. and you have to be honest...tell her what you did in the email... tell her you are saying it because u love her and u want to make it work...not to put her down (but dont talk about that the first night..just have fun)...

if you still miss her there is something there. connection like that doesnt happen often. and it won't go away. love isn't perfect and it doesn't follow story book rules.

every case is different.

[FolderWife]

My favorite part was when he said,

at one point she lost her job and I was afraid I was going to get stuck paying her rent.

 

yeah, this little a**h*** is living with this chick, and screwing anything that walks behind her back, and getting annoyed at her for turning on the lights in HER BEDROOM that SHE'S PAYING FOR, while he lays in HER BED trying to...what...sleep? Oh, poor wittle baby. She's trying to get ready to support his lazy butt, and that just gets on his nerves.

 

Then, she loses her job, and God forbid he has to pay her rent

[Condused about love]

<removed inappropriate comment.

 

I lived with her all of about a week when I realized I dont know if I can put up with her idiosybcracies, I believe she then came to me freaked about her landlord and he demanded she come up with last months rent.. oh well guess who had to pay that..??

I tossed her a grand and her rent was 750. She promised to pay it back the nest day when all she could come up with was 500.. to which I asked her to put away fro me, then she dipped into it, this was just one of the many let downs I had from her. Hydro

they threathened to shut off her power twice I had to talk them into not doing that and waving the deposit.

 

Not too mention the many flowers and meals etc etc......free gigalo services maybe where you come from your lucky to get off once.. with me im lucky to get off once she always got at leat 2 orgasms and sometimes to do that it was very physically demanding.

When i went else where half the time we were broke up. Do you really blame me for trying to find a life raft out this situation?

 

oopemily-- some of your advice is good, the part about telling her i dont think that would help. I believe it would be better to start off from scratch if that is even possible